Five/ten reasons why?

[MoanaLiza]

There have been a few of these done before including on the main site and on one or two other sites, but I have another one:

Five reasons why you know your driving instructor/examinor is obsessed with Knightmare:

He/she keeps explaining where you are and where you are going.
He/she keeps directing you left, right, keep going forward, etc.
He/she tells you to stop all of a sudden
He/she says 'Lovely' when you complete a manouvre
He/she says 'Ooh Nasty' when you make a bad error.


Another one is:

Ten reasons why you might have had too much to drink while watching Knightmare:

Your grandfather clock or doorbell starts going bong.

When you go to a cash machine and input your card and give a password.

During break time at work in the staff room everyone seems to freeze for time out.

Your mode of transport seems to have turned into a green dragon.

When you get into a lift at the top floor you say down when you press the button to go down, count the floors and then say stop just before you get to the floor you want.

You think that that pot plant beside the lift is the gatemaster.

You start talking to trees answering questions that just you seem to have been asked.

When you get onto a bus/into a taxi, you offer the driver a mint saying "I have a dragon mint for you!".

You do a rendition of 'ten great goblins...'.

[FrightKnight]

Five more to add to that collection:

1) You start shouting at walls, "I command you!"

2) You start taking all the food from a room and putting it in your suitcase/handbag, even at pubs or restaurants.

3) You ask market traders if they have any spells or green gems to give.

4) You take advice from beardy blokes with strange stares.

5) You end up playing the KM computer game, despite its very loose connection with the programme.

[JamesA]

6.) When spelling out words, you begin by saying "Spellcasting...."

7.) You use a spyglass to eavesdrop on conversations next to you

8.) You put the office waste paper bin on your head thinking its the Helmet of Justice

9.) You use a trolley to go down slopes as if it were a Mine Cart Ride to Level 3

10.) You resume you duties by shouting "Game On!"

[Drassil]

11) You go to a playground, and stand on the revolving roundabout waiting for someone to tell you when to jump off.

[JamesA]

12.) On a bridge, you sidestep to your left and fall off the thing!  ;D

[Lord_Bob]

12) You are constantly avoiding gargoyls on castles incase they use their misery against you
13) You have been arrested several times for attempting to steal a shield bearing a resemblence to an eye from your local museum.
14) You have purchased several cirular saws and mounted them to your hallway walls in an atempt  to reconstruct the CoB
15) If someone is rambling on you shove your wastebasket over your head and say "We can learn no more from this oracle Team"
16) You wear a cloak and monk's style haircut around local pubs and offer advise to children who come near you.
17) If someone leaves some items on your desk then you have a debate with yourself about which two you should take.
18 ) In important conversations you always try and barter with co workers for passwords and clue items.

[Lord_Bob]

19) You have printed out the symbols of the quest items and stuck them above your co-workers offices so you may choose your path

[Emii]

A lot of you did a similar set of "You know"s in this thread I just wanted an excuse to dig it up!!!

http://www.talkknightmare.co.uk/forum/y ... 1069198616

[MoanaLiza]

Lets hope that this one don't get invaded by F** H**** info/gossip/whatever. Anyway heres another:

Five reasons why Knightmare might have made you scared of/cunfused in the dark

You shout "go away at shadows"
You here footsteps whilst walking down an ally and thinking that they are goblin's you start to speed up/run
You try to cast a lantern spell
You hear voices and you say "where am I"
You walk cautiously with a shining torch through a long allyway as if you're walking through a dwarf tunnel.

[HStorm]

Hey you lot, stop stealin' my ideas!

[Skarkill]

When you come to a closed door you shout out.

"True and False, False and True, open up and let us through."

[MoanaLiza]

Hey you lot, stop stealin' my ideas!

As I did say on my first post of this thread:

There have been a few of these done before including on the main site and on one or two other sites...

So I sort of did give credit to others who have done this before including HStorm. I should have put your name before. Mine are different to yours though, I hope!

[HStorm]

Don't worry, Liza, it wasn't you I was wagging the finger at. Let me just clarify what I meant...

I'm happy that people have taken my top-ten-reasons-why lists and are thinking up their own, and I'd hoped that would happen when I invented them in the first place. (I don't even mind whether or not I'm credited for the original idea.) Hats off, while I'm on the subject, to Stephen Webberley for some of the brilliant ones he thought up for Nic's site (especially the chess-match one  -  why didn't I think of that? Curses).

What I meant when I said stop stealing my ideas was that a lot of the ones in this topic seem to be recycled directly from the original lists I wrote three years ago. (Great goblins, has it really been that long?) For instance, the following one...

"You have purchased several circular saws and mounted them to your hallway walls in an attempt to reconstruct the CoB."

...is almost identical to one of the entries in "Five more reasons why..." on my site.

Having said that, if you came up with the ideas for yourselves and they just happen to be similar to the originals then I apologise for protesting too much, but it does seem a wee bit suspicious.

And some of the new ones here are very good. I especially like, "When you get into a lift at the top floor you say down when you press the button to go down, count the floors and then say stop just before you get to the floor you want."

Anyway... while we're doing this thread, anybody fancy coming up with some new KM chicken jokes for me? (If you don't know what I'm talking about at this point, visit http://havetstorm.tripod.com/knightmare/id9.html and find out.)

[Drassil]

Wow! That's a very thorough list. The best I can do for now is:

Julie's Advisor (Series 3): 'Say hello to the wheels, chicken, and ask them if they'd like a feather.'

[HStorm]

Ooo, clever as ever, Drass.