Parody of You're the Top by Cole Porter, from Anything Goes

[Visage]

Sidriss: Brother Strange, why are you always writing that book of proverbs?

Strange: Well, to be honest....

Sidriss: Yes?

Strange: *Falls to his knees* I've loved you for so long Sidriss, but I haven't found the words to describe it, so I've been collecting the words of others to use on you...

Sidriss: But surely you can think of something to say...?

Strange: Oh no, you see.....

At words poetic, I'm so pathetic that I usually find it good
Instead of shouting through Dunkley Wood,
To keep them stood, in my hood,
I write my book and don't dare to look
At your face shining like a star!
But if this ditty is not so pretty
At least it'll tell you how knice you are!

You're the top!
You're the Grimwolds' oven
You're the top!
You're the witches coven
You're the nighly view of the lovely sewers of Goth,
You're a LANTERN spell, a level well,
You're Mildread's broth!
In my arms, you're no lonely heart-er
You've more "charms", than the winsome Marta,
I'm a hopeless monk, a total flunk, a flop!
But if baby, I'm the bottom you're the top!


Sidriss:
Your proverb book now is worth a look
Because there in the lines I see
A little love poem there for me
And smile with glee, winsomely!
Don't think I'm drunk now, Mr Monk now,
I'm perfectly in control
Now come now Strange, I'm not deranged
In fact I find you rather droll!

You're the top!
You're Hord's medallion!
You're the top!
You're Sir Hugh's stallion!
You're the sparkling turns of Motley's repartee!
You're a Risky potion, a troll commotion
You're Series 3!
You're the time, of temp'ral disruption
You're the whine, of Pickle's interruption.
I'm a dippy mage, just at the stage to drop!
But if Baby I'm the bottom, You're the top!

Dance Sequence

Strange:
You're the top!
You're Lord Fear's Fireball!

Sidriss:
You're the top!
You're the Gruagach's eyeball!

Strange:
You're the gentle laugh in the wise words 'Oh Nasteee'

Sidriss:
You're Skarkill's irons, you're Dooris' sighing's

Strange:
You're ITV!

Sidriss:
You're a wall, moving in for battle,

Strange:
You're a fall, from the Block-and-Tackle

Both:
And even if KM is due to stop!
Still if baby I'm the Bottom......... You're the toooooop!

Jazz hands...

[Thanatos]

Bloody brilliant! How long did that take you?

[Visage]

OK, just realised that not many people will recognise 'You're the Top', Cole Porter not exactly being in his hey day.....

So, for those of you foolish enough not to have gone to see Anything Goes (fantastic!) Here's a link where you can here most of the main tune of the original, so you'll see how the rhymes work!

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/ ... 05-9258330

Oh, and buy the CD while you're at at! That way I won't feel guilty about this!

[Visage]

Far, far too long Thanatos!

Guess what, I'm essay crisising at the moment, so my brain is hyperactive!

Looking at my week ahead there may be encores coming up....

[Visage]

Thanks guys! Should have another one up soon, although it may be similarly ancient, I'm afraid my musical tastes stop somewhere in the 60s!

[FrightKnight]

Yes, as far as you're concerned, The Beatles are still fasvinating creatures that skittle along the ground, and Queen doesn't seem to have released a record, not one inspired by Prince Philip anyway.

OK, I might be exaggerating here...

[Lord_Bob]

Even if your not it's still funny  :)