Things you would never SEE in the dungeons...

[Emii]

eg/ Lord Fear dressed as Batman, Lissard as Robin...

...Festus.

[WhiteDevil]

An assasin dressed in a white cloak...

[Velda]

Morghanna or Malice or Aesandre wearing a short skirt and high heels!  ;D

I dunno, all villianesses in KM seem to wear black from top to bottom!

[Emii]

Whose bottom?

[Drassil]

You would never see fast food in the dungeon.

Funny you should say that... The first Knightmare gamebook (Can You Beat The Challenge?) quite pointedly features a hamburger as a food source during one of the quests, with the quotation, 'Yes, there's even junk food in the dungeon!' or similar.  ::)

But how about this?

Advisor: OK, just to your left is a plate of salmon en croute with new potatoes, can you see it?

Dungeoneer: Yeah, but it isn't coated in puff pastry. Yuck. I'm not touching it.

Advisor: You don't actually eat it, you just, like, put it in the bag.

Dungeoneer: La la la, I'm sidestepping right and walking forward...

Technically that is something you wouldn't hear rather than wouldn't see, but hopefully it paints a picture...  :)

[GrimaldineGrimwold]

All these are things you'd hope not to see. If you did, you'd have to sidestep to your right onto the psychiatrist's couch pretty darn quickly.

Hordriss in a hula-skirt.
Smirkanorff in suspenders. (Okay, it takes some imagination, I know.)
Grimadine in a garter.
Pickle in panties. ("although I don't know...")
Bumptious in a bra.
Nemanor in knickers. (Were there ever "Knightmare Knickers" when the marketers when mad, I wonder...)
Treguard in a tutu. ("Oh God, my eyes, my lovely eyes, please take the image away...")

Oh, I do like being alliterative today.

Hmm, other things you'd rather not see...

Elita? Not in any particularly unfetching costume, just Elita really.

[Elita]

Hmm, other things you'd rather not see...

Elita? Not in any particularly unfetching costume, just Elita really.

Elita is offensive! Elita is DEEPLY offensive! (sorry, too much Series 2 lately)

ETA: You are also a faceache and a slagrat, so there!

Moving on. You wouldn't see a hot-pink Haunting, Sidriss getting magic right or Goblins having an intelligent conversation about symbolism in Shakespeare.

Or Brother Mace at Alcoholics Anonymous.

[GrimaldineGrimwold]

lagrat

ETA: You are also a faceache and a slagrat, so there!

Dearie, that's so rude. Festus, some little elvish ***** is insulting Mummy again. Fetch!

Or Brother Mace at Alcoholics Anonymous.

Or Brother Strange at a book signing, since no publisher in their right mind would buy the rights to his boring old book of proverbs. Muhahaha.

[Pooka]

Or any of us.  ;D

[JamesA]

A teetotal Sylvester Hands anyone?  ;)

[Malefact]

Scarkill in a leotard.

Sylvester Hands in a dinner jacket.

Brother Strange's face.

[GrimaldineGrimwold]

A close-up of Mrs. G.

[JamesA]

Lord Fear letting a team use a spyglass for as long as they wish....

[Lord_Bob]

A team side stepping off the edge and living. Well done team you found the "hidden" path

[Lowebo]

Barry being the boatman - silence!!
  Sidriss getting spells correct, her at motley getting it together!