They would never say...

[Scott_Wilkinson]

Dungeoneer dies.

Treguard: Wow! What a way to die.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Next dungeoneer dies.

Treguard: Oooooh, nasty. Ok, you lot, push off home. I'm sure there's a team more better than you waiting to have a go. Go on, I'm not sending you home by magic.

[FrightKnight]

Dungeoneer: Where am I?
Advisor: You're in a room-
Dungeoneer: Yes, I know that....I'm not in a pile of mashed potato.
Treguard: Listen team, this looks like part of Lord Fear's technomagic. Even I can't seem to decipher the exact location here.
(Suddenly a screen flickers into life. Sir Patrick Moore appears on screen)
GamesMaster: Welcome to my Kingdom. And what gaming problem can I help you with?
Treguard: I'm afraid you've got the wrong-
Dungeoneer: I have been stuck on Ecco The Dolphin...

[Scott_Wilkinson]

Series 4/Team 4/Level 2/Block & Tackle room.

Advisor: Simon, side - step to your right.

[Lord_Bob]

Think that's been done already.

[Scott_Wilkinson]

Treguard: "Enter, next victim."

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Majida: "RATS!!!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Treguard: (After dungeoneer dies from taking the wrong object.) You idiots, why didn't you take the...

[Lord_Bob]

*Dungeoneers die and go through to a classroom*

Hordriss *with progress report*: Well your thinking skills were good, you did my riddle very well. However you must learn to chat less and get on with quests, awful direction skills. How many times did you hit that wall? Must be quicker most certainly. Also you *points to 3rd advisor* then i want to hear none of that language. You will all report to my office on Friday and I will set you an hours detention listening to Motley's joke act!

*Advisors groan and walk out, heads bowed*

[Drassil]

Elita: Hello there, dogsbottom!
Cedric: Just who are you calling 'dogsbottom', faceache?

[Scott_Wilkinson]

Majida: "Oh Treguard, I do love you. Let's get married."

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Treguard: "Pickle, where's my dinner?"

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Fatilla: "I can't eat that, I'm on a diet."

[HStorm]

[End of a quest.]

Treguard:  Oh dear, what a pity, never mind. Well that's the end of that adventure, so it's now over to Pickle for the post-quest interviews.

Pickle:  Thanks Des. I'm here talking to the losing team captain. Alex Ferguson. Alex, so near and yet so far?

Ferguson:  Well I mean... mumbly momooo whinge lala mumble wahwah blooga wha, bloody referee's fault wah whine incoherent grumble blah no fair meeeh bah blether shoulda added at least three more minutes at the end gripe whinge complain it were never offside moan whine grunt...

[FrightKnight]

So you enjoyed the Champions League match, HStorm?  ;D

And, even speaking as a Man-Utd disliker, that offside decision before half-time was wrong. Still, what can you do? What a shame, eh?

[HStorm]

 I'm not as much into football these days as I used to be, but you know what? I luuuurrved tonight's game, you bet!

[HStorm]

[Start of a quest. Treguard is giving the new dungeoneer the traditional pre-quest pep-talk.]

Treguard:  "Now, young adventurer, throughout your journey you must don the Helmet of Justice..."

[The dungeoneer puts the helmet on.]

Dungeoneer:  "I wanna car! Chicks dig the car!"

Treguard:  "This is why Superman works alone."


*                                    *                                    *


[Final confrontation.]

Lord Fear:  "At this point I was going to sit around and waste a lot of time gloating, giving you just enough of an opportunity to counterattack, but on this occasion..."

[Zaps the dungeoneer to smithereens.]

Treguard:  [V.O.]  "How refreshing. How... Heineken."

[Fidjit]

Treguard: Pickle the book of quests, who walks the dungeon tonight?

Pickle: Team in quest, why, Dom, Tim and Prav... Dom's brother Dicken is their dungeoneer and they are just four minutes on the trail... Nothing carried Master...

Treguard: Wrong quest Pickle... Anyway... GAME ON!

[FrightKnight]

Slight imagination failure, so going a bit random...

Hordriss (singing): "One's in the mood for dancing, gonna dance the night away."

Oakley: Test you I will, dungeoneer. CRUSH YOU if you fail.
Dungeoneer: Oakley, you're a tree. You can't move.
Oakley: Ah, you've got a point there.

Treguard: Oh hello there, dungeoneer.

[HStorm]

Heh, do I detect the tiniest dig at Illusion with that last one...?    ;D