I Had An Even Sillier Idea

[HStorm]

Okay, this is probably the dumbest variation on the song filk idea yet, but what the hell?

Survey the scene...


The dastardly Lord Fear has cast a spell on Treguard, making him only able to communicate with people through the medium of song lyrics. He doesn't sing them, but he talks in them. Incessantly and without deviation.


{A dungeoneer enters the antechamber.}

Treguard: Hello. Is it me you're looking for?

Lionel: Yes. I seek knighthood, and I am here for you to tell me the nature of my quest.

Treguard: Stayin' alive... stayin' alive...

Lionel: Well, yes, but I mean...

Treguard: {Interrupts sharply.} Ah-ah... ah-ah. Stayin' alive.

Lionel: Um. Okay. So my quest is to stay alive. What will I need on my journey?

Treguard: You got the action. You got the motion. Yeah, the boy can play.

Lionel: Oh. Well I'm grateful for your confidence in me, but what will I need?

Treguard: Dedication. Devotion.

Lionel: You got it, you got it! I tell ya, you'll never get a dungeoneer more pumped up than me. Now what transport should I use?

Treguard: You do the walk. The walk of life...

Lionel: Walk? How far is it?

Treguard: Mm, you do the walk of life.

Lionel: Look, there are lots of hills and rocky places on these quests aren't there? I mean, if I walk, I could fall.

Treguard: Gotta get up... gotta get up... gotta get up.

Lionel: And if I hurt my leg?

Treguard: Whoah! Don't move!

Lionel: So what do I do? Wait for an ambulance?

Treguard: You just walk right in... walk-walk-walk right in!

Lionel: Wouldn't it be better if you lent me a horse?

Treguard: Cos you ride on time.

Lionel: Exactly! So I can have the horse?

Treguard: Anything you want, you got it. Anything you need, you got it.

Lionel: Great. Although hang on, there's a river at the end of Level One isn't there? Will I have to leave the horse behind when I get there?

Treguard: To stand divided and we shall surely fall, until our darkest hour, when the light will save us all.

Lionel: Um, right. {Beat.} That gives me something to think about. But how do I cross the river?

Treguard: Don't pay the ferryman. Don't even fix a price.

Lionel: Then how?

Treguard: JUMP! For my love.

Lionel: What!

Treguard: Jump in...!

Lionel: You want me to jump into the river...?

Treguard: ...And feel my touch.

Lionel: Er... Look, suddenly I'm not sure I want to do this. I mean why does it have to be me?

Treguard: We can't go on pretending day by day, that someone somewhere will soon make a change.

Lionel: We were pretending?

Treguard: YES! I'm the great pretender...

Lionel: But I don't know if I'm up to this.

Treguard: The minute you walked in the joint I could see you were a man of distinction.

Lionel: You're scaring me now.

Treguard: Don't cry tonight, my baby.

Lionel: Okay, that's it, I'm out of here.

Treguard: Don't leave me this way! I can't survive... I can't stay alive...

{Exit dungeoneer.}


Can anyone think up some more? For a confrontation between Fear and Barry Thorne, maybe?

[shadow6162]

I've just been digging around old threads and found this. I LOVE IT!