Pooka Loopy (parody of Snooker Loopy by Chas & Dave)

[Pooka]

Original lyrics are here: http://www.azlyrics.us/48865
Sorry for choosing such an obscure song!

[You're walking through Dunkley Wood, afraid of goblins, stormgeists and wolves, to say the least. Suddenly, you get pulled into a bush by a gang of men in camouflage.
"Who are you?" you demand.
"We're Pooka spotters," says a guy in an anorak, with a beard, thick glasses, a notepad and a thermos flask.
"Pookas?" I don't like them!" you moan.
All the spotters gasp. "Whyever not?" says The Bearded One.
"Well, they're evil, aren't they? They scare the bejeezes out of most Dungeoneers... c'mon, they're in the service of Lord Fear!" you explain.
"No, no, you're all wrong," says Beardy McBeard. "Pookas are playful, shape-shifting sprites. The aggressive plant-pookas you see around here have to act aggressive, because hunters have been killing them off!" A tear trickles down his face into his beard. "We're the Pooka Preservation Society, or PooPS for short."
"But why...?" you begin to ask. You immediately wish you hadn't, because the spotters all immediately begin to sing.]

Pooka loopy, nuts are we
Me and him and them and me
We'll show you what we all love
Not a dog, or cat, or a mouse, or dove

Pot on their heads, so we're keen
For the green, green, green, green, green... and green
Pooka loopy nuts are we
We're all Pooka loopy

Now ol' Gwendoline, she goes wanderin'
Through Forests of Level One
And when she's near, Dungeoneers keep clear
And she wonders why she's shunned
She thinks it's the Pookas, scarin' 'em away
As a ranger they won't rate her
But they don't keep clear of the Pookas, my dear:
It's just because they hate her!

Pookas in their den, hours they spend
Look at the Pookas all
It's a big green haze, one would be amazed
At the sight of a Pooka ball
'Cause they're kind folks, they only play jokes
Like you have no idea
They scare you away, but they only want to play
(They're not servants of Fear!)

Pooka loopy, nuts are we
Me and him and them and me
They're not crazy, they're not bad
They're only playful, and a little mad

If you think they're evil, you're mean
For there's never any evil in the sprites of green
Pooka loopy, nuts are we
We're all Pooka loopy

Now Merlin the mage has accumulated age
From thousands of years ago
He served King 'Arf since he was one and a half
And is proud of his wisdom so!
But he's confused, so he'll peruse
His tome of Level 2's scene:
Surely Pookas change their shape,
And he wonders why they're all green!

Now he prays and prays, takes a couple of days
For an answer to arrive:
Populations are thin, so they have to blend in
It's in order to survive!
Make no mistake, it's make or break
For the Pookas in the dungeon -
To blend in with the trees, they transform into leaves
To keep their numbers from plungin'!

Pooka loopy, nuts are we
Me and him and them and me
We'll tell you what they can do
'Cause they've got so much more skill than you

It's a wonder they keep clean,
But there's never been a smudge on the skin of green!
Pooka loopy, nuts are we
We're all Pooka loopy

In Knightmare's fourth year, we came very near
To the Pooka-spotters' crown
But we never got to put it on our trophy shelf
Cos the hunters kept their numbers down:
It all went full throttle, Puck got put in a bottle
While the causeway's Falgo's flaunting
And the old Dungeon Master's just as much of a bastard:
He refers to them as 'hauntings'!

Pooka loopy, nuts are we
Me and him and them and me
We'd show you what we can do
But in recent days, there are Pookas few

It's a shame they're rarely seen
But if you're walking through the Dungeon, see a flash of green:
It's a Pooka, you'll soon see
Why we're Pooka loopy

Pooka loopy, nuts are we
Me and him and them and me
We'll show you what we can do
With a spotter's book, and a Pooka... cue!

Look! There's one right over there!
In the shape of a swallow, flying through the air!
It's rare to see that, we're sure you agree.
We're all Pooka loopy!

Pooka loopy, nuts are we:
We're all Pooka loopy!

Pooka loopy, nuts are we...
We're all Pooka loopy!