Even before I suggested Perfect Day as a basis for the new song project, I had this parody in mind. Official audio
Just a Weeping Door
Can't break it or kick it down
Far more likely to wear a frown
Than show glee
Just a Weeping Door
Hope there's only one of you
Nope, there's one on Level Two
And on Three
Oh, it's such a Weeping Door
We hate you. True or false? True
Oh, such a creeping bore
Open up and let us through
We'll make toothpicks out of you
Just a Weeping Door
Spellbound and bound to whinge
With names to make us cringe
It's no fun
Just a Weeping Door
Made Pickle repeat himself
The mournfulness kept the elf
Paranoid, yeah*
Oh, it's such a Weeping Door
We hate you. True or false? True
Oh, scourge of Series Four
Open up and let us through
Or we'll seal your lips with glue
You're going to weep, just let me go
You're going to weep, just let me go
You're going to weep, just let me go [Repeated ad nauseam]
Oh, what a Weeping Door
*An in-joke which I hope people get, referring to a TV character who, as it happens, the Weeping Doors were not unlike.
---
[Originally posted Thursday 11 May 2006]
Treguard sees that the antechamber is empty apart from him, Pickle and the Eyeshield. So he decides to rap about it. Based on 'Me Myself And I' by De La Soul. Official video
Magic mirror on the wall
Tell me, mirror, what is weird?
Can it be my DM clothes
Or is it just my DM beard?
What I do ain't make-believe
People say I sit and try
But when it comes to being DM
It's just me, my elf and Eye
It's just me, my elf and Eye
It's just me, my elf and Eye
It's just me, my elf and Eye
Some may tease my Dungeon style
And my Dungeon MC raps
Some say I've looked like quite a stoner
I did not, that's pure claptrap
Always pushing that we've formed an image
There's no need to lie
When it comes to being Treguard
It's just me, my elf and Eye
It's just me, my elf and Eye
It's just me, my elf and Eye
It's just me, my elf and Eye
Proud, I'm proud of what I am
Poems I speak are DM type
Please, oh please, let Pickle be
Himself, though he's a silly sprite
Right is wrong when hype is written
On the Eyeshield, elf and me
Style is surely our own thing
Not the false disguise of TV
Knightmare Castle's here for keeps
And this fact I can't deny
Strictly from the antechamber
And from me, my elf and Eye
It's just me, my elf and Eye
It's just me, my elf and Eye
It's just me, my elf and Eye...
The rest of the lyrics are too silly to parody.
---
[Originally posted Friday 19 May 2006]
Ever wondered why Lillith left the Dungeon? Here's the answer, to the tune of Barry Mannilow's 'Copacabana'. The video can be found here.
Her name was Lillith, she was in Knightmare
With shiny whatnots in her hair
And her makeup set to scare
She would get bossy, and lay down causeways
And while she tried to make her mark
Mogdred waited in the dark
On Levels 1, 2, 3
Slew dungeoneers with glee
They were old but they had each other
Versus Po'ers That Be
At the Castle, Castle of Knightmare
Guaranteed to get a fright there
At the Castle, Castle of Knightmare
Dungeons with questing were always the best thing
At the Castle, they fell in love
His name was Hordriss, wore a medallion
And when he came to look around
Lillith made his old heart pound
After two series, he called her over
But he would not leave her alone
Mogdred sailed across the zone
And then the punches flew
And rocks were smashed in two
There was blood and a fork of lightning
But just who zapped who?
At the Castle, Castle of Knightmare
Some of the puzzles weren't quite fair
At the Castle, Castle of Knightmare
Dungeons with questing were always the best thing
At the Castle, she lost her love
Her name is Lillith, she was in Knightmare
But that was 19 years ago, when they used to have a show*
Now it's in VR, but not for Lillith
Still in the dress she used to wear
Faded tin-foil in her hair
She sits there so refined
And drinks herself half-blind
It was Merlin who'd zapped the others
And he lost his mind
At the Castle, Castle of Knightmare
Guaranteed to get a fright there
At the Castle, Castle of Knightmare
Dungeons with questing were always the best thing
At the Castle, don't fall in love
Don't fall in love
*Addendum 15/04/2018: 12 years later and it is now '30 years ago', as per the original line, since Lillith was on Knightmare.
Filking my life away so you don't have to.