10 Spells & Potions for Everyday Life

By David Goldstein


[In progress. Please remember to check it back out so I can resume work on it. David]
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Catnip (potion, Series 7). Turns you into a giant cat. You'll get even more attention online now.
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CREEP (spell, Series 8). Makes dragons and customer service Twitter accounts more helpful. Warning: may also trigger Radiohead playlists.
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DISMISS (spell, Series 1-5 and Geek Week 2013). Used by Treguard before he got a magic stick. Great for getting rid of up to three unwanted house guests or junk emails at a time.
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Goblin Juice (potion, Series 7). We don't know what this would have done, but you could drink it for a dare. Knightmare has been called a seminal show.
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Nightsight (potion, Series 7). For when you go to the loo in the night and don't have friends giving you directions.
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JOKE (spell, Series 4). Causes uncontrollable laughter. No Knightmare Live cast member or advisor has ever needed this.
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REVEAL (spell, Series 7). Afraid your barmaid might be a lizard man in disguise? Use this spell to make sure. Or live dangerously. Your choice.
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RUN (spell, Series 4). Gets you away from trouble faster than you can say "RUN!" OK, slightly slower because you have to say "Spellcasting" and then each letter.
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SESAME (spell, Series 5). It's 3am, it's cold, you can't find the key... use this spell to get in. Just make sure it's your house.
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VIM (spell, Series 3). Perks you up if you're low on energy. May not work on hangovers.

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