Letters, shallow focus. Photo by Suzy Hazelwood for Pexels (free-to-use licence)

The Quest 4.2: Viewers' Letters

By Keith McDonald

This issue's star letter seems to express a lot of people's opinions.

Dear the people in control of Knightmare's destiny,

You stupid madmen. You silly buffoons, complete idiots, ninnies, nincompoops, asses, jackasses, donkeys. You have all gone cuckoo. You must be out of your mind to even think of stopping an extremely popular show which is watched by more people than any BBC2 or Ch4 programme.

How could you think of this, you mentally disordered nitwits? You sick people, you invalids; I bet you don't even care about the programme. I bet you've never even seen it. All you're interested in is bringing in the new, getting rid of the old, no matter how successful it is.

Well, you're totally wrong. I don't know how you could even think of such a horrible and immature idea. It is unthinkable that the best programme in the world should be stopped. You haven't even given a reason for this, you sick-minded, insanity-filled fools. It's unsoundness of mind, it's lunacy, it's madness, certifiability. You've all got mental sickness, mental illness and mental instability. You've all got abnormal psychology, mental derangement, mental aberration, loss of reason, sick-minded troubled brains, brain damage, mental decay, softening of the brain and Alzheimer's disease. You all need a doctor.

It's madness to even think of taking Knightmare off our screens. I think the programme is excellent and cannot fault it in any way, you bloody idiots.

You're all madmen, lunatics, mental cases, bedlamites, raving lunatics, maniacs, screwballs, nuts, nutcases, loons, loony, kooks and meshuggenah. If you take Knightmare off our screens I hope you have all the bad luck in the world, and I hope that you are all killed in a plane crash or something very serious, so then we can wipe you off the face of the earth. It would be a national disgrace and a national disaster as well.

Think of all us children, including me, 4-5 million of us, who enjoy watching our favourite programme each week, very happy and enjoying every second of it. Then, next year, you mental patients have to come and stopped it being made. What will we do now, eh? We will be devastated and VERY upset at this disaster. Why don't you get rid of the Avenger Penguins instead? It is a lot worse than Knightmare, yet it's going to stay in, isn't it, you drug-addled patients?

If there isn't a ninth series of Knightmare then I will complain to the head of ITV, telling him that you should be sacked for being silly immature little children in taking off the best programme in the whole entire universe, and you can bet your life on that.

Alex Seymour (no. 1095)


I have to tell you Alex, that it really has nothing to do with us here at The Quest, or at Broadsword Television, who make Knightmare.

We would both have preferred Knightmare to continue for many years, although the producer of Knightmare, Tim Child, has chosen to use the end of Knightmare as an excuse to change the format of what is essentially a similar idea in spirit, creating 'The Sword of The Sorcerer'.

However, if you really want Knightmare back, then you will have to write to those responsible for removing it from your screens, ITV themselves.

If you would like to voice your opinion on the demise of Knightmare after eight years - please write to:

The Controller of Children's Television
The ITV Network Centre
200 Grays Inn Road

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