Series 7, Quest 1. Simon begins the 'Play Your Cards Right' puzzle.

Series 7 Quest 1

By Keith McDonald

Team 1: Simon, David, Matthew and Nicholas from Cornwall.

The first quest of Series 7 was for the Cup and lasted 53 minutes.

Knightmare Series 7 Team 1. Simon, the dungeoneer.


The new assistant, Majida, inadvertently introduces the new helmet.

Knightmare Series 7 Team 1. The new assistant Majida brings out a new Helmet of Justice.

Treguard does not seem to object!

Treguard: "Before I close the visor, are you sure you want to go on? Very well..."

Level 1

The series begins in a dwarf tunnel. They soon hear fast marching, which Treguard says is an army!

Into a courtyard, when an armed maiden appears. She introduces herself as Romahna, Smirkenorff's guardian.

Knightmare Series 7 Team 1. Simon meets Romahna, the Dragon Warden.

Romahna: "The blind leading the blind, from what I've heard. Well, you'll get precious little help from me..."

The conversation does not go well. She says Lord Fear has sworn to destroy Smirkenorff as revenge for the death of his red dragon. Therefore, she will keep his whereabouts hidden.

Simon suggests to his team that she's lying, forgetting she can hear him. She storms off.

Knightmare Series 7 Team 1. Romahna argues with the dungeoneer in a courtyard.

Majida is incensed, but Treguard is more philosophical.

If Lord Fear is determined to kill Smirkenorff and he succeeds, there's little chance of any team beating him.


Into a courtyard with some clues. The scroll reads: 'All that Glitters is not always Good Company'.

Majida urges them to take the gold, but they leave it and take skeleton keys, and a Grimlock potion.

Knightmare Series 7 Team 1. Rothberry the Apothecary finds a spyglass.

Into a large chamber. Simon is investigating some pharmaceutical items, when an apothecary intervenes.

Rothberry: "Absolutely no touching of the medicaments, if you wouldn't mind."

Rothberry is interested in the potion, and agrees to swap it for a spyglass.

Spyglass: Lord Fear's new seneschal, Raptor, complains about the new shape-changing monster, the Brollachan. Fear tells him to get on with catching the team in quest.

Knightmare Series 7 Team 1. Lord Fear speaks to his new shape-shifting monster, the Brollachan.

The Brollachan appears in Fear's chamber. Fear is short with it.

The exchange makes Majida very nervous in the antechamber.

The Brollachan is supposed to be extinct. Goodness knows where Lord Fear got hold of this one and goodness knows how we're going to get rid of it. But somebody has got to warn Smirkenorff.


Knightmare Series 7 Team 1. Simon needs Fidjit, a pickpocket and locksmith.

A castle entrance. As Simon approaches the locked door, a man scuttles up behind them. He opens the door, then introduces himself as Fidjit.

Fidjit keeps the keys in exchange for a SIGHT spell.

Castle grounds, where Romahna is talking to passers-by. Simon tells her about the Brollachan and the threat to Smirkenorff.

Knightmare Series 7 Team 1. Romahna the Dragon Warden is chatting with dungeonfolk.

Romahna: "He'd best keep on the move, so he'd be no worse off helping you to Level 2."

She instructs the team to take the high door and seek Smirkenorff's nesting ledge.

The dwarf tunnel is very dark. The team use the SIGHT spell, and almost run into Raptor and his goblins!

Knightmare Series 7 Team 1. Simon runs into Raptor and his goblins in the dwarf tunnel.

Simon retreats and takes a different route to escape onto Smirkenorff's back.

They take flight across the 'Great Rift of Angar' to the threshold of Level 2.

Level 2

They arrive in the Valley of Angar. A wizard appears.

Grimaldine: "I am Grimaldine. Sometimes of the grey, but always of the green..."

He asks Simon to gather information on the opposition. He will provide a charm if they acquire the answers he is looking for.

Knightmare Series 7 Team 1. Sidriss is trapped in a bottle in Level 2.

Level 2 clue room. The clues are: a green gem, a glowlight and a bottle. The scroll reads: 'Two Beauties are Better than One'.

Sidriss is trapped inside the bottle! She tells Simon he'll be rewarded if they can deliver her to Hordriss.

Treguard: "It's probably her own fault she's in a fix. It normally is."

The team determine that 'two beauties' means Sidriss and the gem.

Knightmare Series 7 Team 1. Simon arrives at the Crazed Heifer in Level 2.

Simon arrives at the Crazed Heifer. Marta the Maid is concerned about visitors wearing 'masks' and carrying their own bottles.

She trades a spyglass for the green gem, and tells them to get out!

Spyglass: Lord Fear is mourning the loss of Mount Fear. Lissard encourages him to embrace the new palace.

Fear reveals that the only entrance to the Black Tower of Goth is from below.

Knightmare Series 7 Team 1. A first glimpse of the Sewers of Goth through Lord Fear's Pool of Voracity.

Lord Fear: "The Sewers of Goth. Mile after mile of the rankest, stenchiest subterranean passages in this world or any other."

Simon summons Grimaldine and recounts what he discovered from the spyglass. He earns the spell LOOK.

Knightmare Series 7 Team 1. Simon summons Grimaldine, the Celtic wizard.

In a narrow cavern. The Brollachan appears in the wall.

Treguard: "Extreme caution, team, and don't waste magic. If this thing wants to destroy Simon, it will. But perhaps there's another way..."

The Brollachan is intrigued by knowledge, so it questions Simon. It cannot know if the answers are right or wrong - only that Simon does not lie.

A floor puzzle, where fireballs shoot from side to side. The LOOK spell helps Simon feel his way down the side wall and to the exit.

Knightmare Series 7 Team 1. Hordriss holds the bottle with Sidriss inside.

Into a room with a tortoise. It's Hordriss in one of his disguises! Simon tells him that they are carrying Sidriss in the bottle, and he reveals himself.

Hordriss takes the bottle and unveils the Descender in the rear wall. It takes Simon down to Level 3.

I warned you and warned you about using preservatives in Level 2, did I not? When will you ever learn?


Level 3

We see Goth for the first time. Simon enters the Level 3 clue room.

Treguard: "It looks as though the rumours are true. The opposition is using some sort of magical engine to distort reality.

Knightmare Series 7 Team 1. A clue room in the new Black Tower of Goth.

I've always told adventurers that everything in this world is illusion. But this - this is beyond illusion.


The clues are: a crossbow, a green gem, a bar of gold, and a bottle of Troll Wine. The scroll reads: "One is a Weapon; One is Payment".

They decide the scroll is deceptive, and take the gem and the Troll Wine.

Knightmare Series 7 Team 1. Simon gets into a boat in the Sewers of Goth.

Into the Sewers of Goth, when they find a spyglass.

Spyglass: Lord Fear reveals more about Goth's defences. He asks Lissard to summon the Brollachan.

Lissard says that since it met the dungeoneer, it has become harder to control.

Grimaldine appears. After a few failed attempts to strike conversation, Treguard suggests they should just ask for help.

Knightmare Series 7 Team 1. Grimaldine rows Simon across the sewers in a boat.

Grimaldine explains that the green gem is an Arkenstone, and will restore his powers. He rows Simon across the sewers and asks about the perils that lie ahead.

Grimaldine: "Yes, I know about the Brollachan. For he was stolen from my world, robbed of all his knowledge, and brought here for some purpose beyond imagining."

He offers a RETURN spell.

Knightmare Series 7 Team 1. Simon stands on a narrow ledge in front of a card puzzle.

This team becomes the first to encounter the 'Play Your Cards Right' puzzle.

Treguard: "Now, there's obviously a sequence... So, get Simon to pick your card."


They keep trying to call out but nothing happens. Goblin horns sound.

Knightmare Series 7 Team 1. Simon touches the wrong card and falls.

Simon touches the wrong card, and the ledge gives way.

Treguard: "Boys, you were looking for something devious, when all you had to do was follow suit."

Hear from the team

In August 2001, Simon Herd signed the Guestbook.

I was twelve at the time and I have many really fantastic memories of the filming process and all the actors.


I think it would be great if Knightmare were to make a comeback, but I think that the whole RPG fantasy craze has all but died out (as far as the mainstream goes anyway, obviously, there are still loads of dedicated gamesters out there).

My team managed to reach the penultimate room where we messed up a fairly simple 'cards on the wall' puzzle. The ledge that I was standing on came out from under my feet and I fell to my doom!

In March 2003, Nicholas Herd signed the Guestbook.

It's been a long time since I appeared on the show and my memories are limited but Knightmare was the source of much of my childhood inspiration and it was a dream come true for me to make it onto the programme.

Knightmare Series 7 Team 1. Nicholas, an advisor.

I just want to thank all of those involved with making Knightmare a reality, and even though the show is over, the legend will live on forever.


One of my strongest memories was of Tim Child's daughter who was a runner - a beautiful girl with a wonderful personality - and also of playing Worms on a PC whilst waiting between rooms.

There was a long wait between filming each room when I guess the actors were preparing for every eventuality. It actually took about 4 or 5 days to record our whole adventure!

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