Tim Child takes on the Interactive Knightmare RPG in the final quest of the first season.
Session 5 - 13.11.99
- Treguard is the host
- Fear (aka Tim Child) is the dungeoneer
Treguard Thank you for coming Fear and everyone else
Fear Fear was always Tim Child - let's get on with it
Treguard OK. Everyone ready?
Treguard There are still challengers which await to take the challenge of completing my dungeon, but who will step first? Let's find out. Enter Strangers. Who Challenges my dungeon?
Fear Is it us now?
Treguard You alone Fear?
Treguard Or do you have a team?
Fear I have a few tame monsters but they cannot spell
Treguard I assume you have had some previous knowledge of dungeoneering?
Fear Not a lot
Treguard Really? I would have thought somone like yourself would have had loads! :-)
Treguard Now let me explain the rules of the dungeon to you. You have a knapsack with which you must put food into. You also have a life force. To feed your life force, you must place any food in this knapsack, but place only food there, for any other objects will also be consumed. When you put food into your knapsack, your life force will go to what is known as condition green. If you tread badly on the path you will lose one life force grade.
Treguard Tread badly again and you will perish. Also, I Treguard will be your guide. I will describe objects and settings to you and even talk you through conversations with any people you may meet, friend or foe unfortunately. Any movement you want to make must be done through me.
Treguard REMEMBER THAT I CAN DESCRIBE OBJECTS TO YOU IF YOU WISH, but I am not allowed to tell you what to do or pick up. In this realm lie four of the classic quest objects.
Treguard Decide now which will be the object of your quest : The cup that heals which some call the chalice, the the sword of freedom, the crown in glory or the shield in justice.
Treguard Ahhhh the cup heh?
Fear Nobody says Ahh to me and lives
Treguard Okay, off you go. Are you sure that you want to proceed?
Treguard Very well, turn then, face the door and take a step forwards, the dungeon awaits.
Treguard My dungeon that is.
Treguard haaa haaaa haaa haaaaaaaaa
Treguard You enter a cavernish looking room with some stalactites and stalagmites growing from the floor and ceiling. In front of you though is a table with some promising looking objects on it.
Fear promises, promises
Treguard You're wasting life force
Treguard Your life force is now down to condition yellow
Fear What's on the table?
Treguard The objects are as follows: a pineapple, a scroll, a talisman, an egg timer, a bar of gold.
Treguard Remember I can describe the objects
Fear Read the scroll
Treguard "The scroll says: You'll need plenty of good luck where you'll be going, but be careful. Don't count your chickens until they're hatched."
Fear describe the talisman
Treguard "The talisman has a diameter of 4cm, circular, and has a cross inside it."
Fear Hokay, we'll take the talisman and the egg timer
Treguard OK you pick up those objects
Treguard You better had find food fast
Fear Normally I'd eat the pineappale
Treguard Could be a life saver in times of trouble!
Fear Ok I've eat it. Don't nag
Treguard You put the food in your knapsack
Treguard Suddenly a goblin comes behind you
Fear Out of here
Treguard You exit the room and enter another room with a woman in it. The woman is standing totally still.
Treguard The woman doesn't respond. It's as if she's frozen. What can you do to help her?
Fear I think we'd better wave this old talisman across her
Treguard You wave the talisman over her. Nothing happens
Fear Women are like that
Fear We could set fire to her toes?
Treguard Don't be nasty
Fear Act of desparation actually
Treguard What else could you do?
Fear Not a lot without getting arrested
Treguard Come on team, think
Fear OK, we'll set off the egg timer
Fear but there's not much logic in it
Treguard You put the egg timer on the floor. After a few seconds, the grains of sand start to shift and then start moving. The woman jerks suddenly. "And there's no need to.. Oh you there..."
Treguard What happened?
Treguard I was talking to this man and suddenly, I came over all funny
Treguard Who are you?
Fear So what about this woman then
Treguard Hey!! I'm talking to you
Treguard What is your name. Come on then!
Fear 14 minutes to dinner
Treguard What is your name
Treguard I am Birena
Treguard What's yours? Hmmm?
Treguard Ahh. That's a strange name isn't it?
Fear But you can call me milord
Treguard Well. What exactly happened to me?
Treguard I was talking to a man and I suddenly came over all cold
Treguard Listen, I see that you've helped me so what can I gift you with? Ah I know, in return for your kindness, I gift you with a spell. It's a pathetic little spell really, but I have found it to be quite useful. It's called REVEAL. Ok. Thanks again for your help! Oh, and by the way, take the path of UK primary colours on the causeway. If you don't, then I should imagine that you will, well, fall to where you will be eaten alive by red dragons!
Treguard NOTE DOWN THE SPELL
Treguard You exit the room and proceed down a narrow corridor. The corridor itself is dank and dismal. Passing one small arched window, you exit through a portal. You enter a room with a causeway on. There are 5 rows of hexagons. The rows increase and decrease in size as they go along. You walk up to the first row.
Treguard Stage 1: Blue, Green
Treguard Stage 2: Purple, Green, Yellow
Treguard You step on the hexagon, and it crumbles beneath your feet pulling you to YOUR doom.
Treguard Yellow was the correct one team. At least you made the dragons happy by filling their ever lasting empty stomach!
Treguard I can't believe you failed so soon in your quest. Never mind. You did try
Fear Thanks for having us folks
Fear Must eat dinner now
Treguard Thanks for coming
Fear Any questions before I sign off?
Forester Can we copy tapes of Knightmare?
Fear Don't see why not - I cannot stop you
Mystara Will you join our assassination squad to CITV?
Fear You cannot kill dead men
Mystara Will you be back soon?
Fear Not this evening
Fear Goodnight all
***Fear has left #Knightmare