Gaming computer in ambient light. Photo by bantersnaps on Unsplash.

RPG Season 1 Quest 5

By Nicholas Lam

Tim Child takes on the Interactive Knightmare RPG in the final quest of the first season.

Session 5 - 13.11.99

Treguard Thank you for coming Fear and everyone else

Fear Fear was always Tim Child - let's get on with it

Treguard OK. Everyone ready?

Fear Sure

Treguard There are still challengers which await to take the challenge of completing my dungeon, but who will step first? Let's find out. Enter Strangers. Who Challenges my dungeon?

Fear Is it us now?

Treguard You alone Fear?

Treguard Or do you have a team?

Fear I have a few tame monsters but they cannot spell

Treguard I assume you have had some previous knowledge of dungeoneering?

Mystara LOL

Fear Not a lot

Treguard Really? I would have thought somone like yourself would have had loads! :-)

Treguard Now let me explain the rules of the dungeon to you. You have a knapsack with which you must put food into. You also have a life force. To feed your life force, you must place any food in this knapsack, but place only food there, for any other objects will also be consumed. When you put food into your knapsack, your life force will go to what is known as condition green. If you tread badly on the path you will lose one life force grade.

Treguard Tread badly again and you will perish. Also, I Treguard will be your guide. I will describe objects and settings to you and even talk you through conversations with any people you may meet, friend or foe unfortunately. Any movement you want to make must be done through me.

Treguard REMEMBER THAT I CAN DESCRIBE OBJECTS TO YOU IF YOU WISH, but I am not allowed to tell you what to do or pick up. In this realm lie four of the classic quest objects.

Treguard Decide now which will be the object of your quest : The cup that heals which some call the chalice, the the sword of freedom, the crown in glory or the shield in justice.

Fear Cup

Treguard Ahhhh the cup heh?

Fear Nobody says Ahh to me and lives

Treguard Haaaaa!

Treguard Okay, off you go. Are you sure that you want to proceed?

Fear sure

Treguard Very well, turn then, face the door and take a step forwards, the dungeon awaits.

Treguard My dungeon that is.

Treguard haaa haaaa haaa haaaaaaaaa

Treguard You enter a cavernish looking room with some stalactites and stalagmites growing from the floor and ceiling. In front of you though is a table with some promising looking objects on it.

Fear promises, promises

Fear Yupp

Treguard well?

Treguard You're wasting life force

Treguard Your life force is now down to condition yellow

Treguard Hurry!

Fear What's on the table?

Treguard The objects are as follows: a pineapple, a scroll, a talisman, an egg timer, a bar of gold.

Treguard Remember I can describe the objects

Fear Read the scroll

Treguard "The scroll says: You'll need plenty of good luck where you'll be going, but be careful. Don't count your chickens until they're hatched."

Fear describe the talisman

Treguard "The talisman has a diameter of 4cm, circular, and has a cross inside it."

Fear Hokay, we'll take the talisman and the egg timer

Treguard OK you pick up those objects

Treguard You better had find food fast

Fear Normally I'd eat the pineappale

Treguard Could be a life saver in times of trouble!

Fear Ok I've eat it. Don't nag

Treguard You put the food in your knapsack

Treguard Suddenly a goblin comes behind you

Treguard Quick!!!

Fear Out of here

Treguard You exit the room and enter another room with a woman in it. The woman is standing totally still.

Treguard The woman doesn't respond. It's as if she's frozen. What can you do to help her?

Fear I think we'd better wave this old talisman across her

Treguard You wave the talisman over her. Nothing happens

Fear Women are like that

Fear We could set fire to her toes?

Treguard Don't be nasty

Fear Act of desparation actually

Treguard What else could you do?

Fear Not a lot without getting arrested

Treguard Come on team, think

Fear OK, we'll set off the egg timer

Fear but there's not much logic in it

Treguard You put the egg timer on the floor. After a few seconds, the grains of sand start to shift and then start moving. The woman jerks suddenly. "And there's no need to.. Oh you there..."

Treguard What happened?

Treguard I was talking to this man and suddenly, I came over all funny

Treguard Who are you?

Fear So what about this woman then

Treguard Hey!! I'm talking to you

Treguard What is your name. Come on then!

Fear 14 minutes to dinner

Treguard What is your name

Treguard I am Birena

Treguard What's yours? Hmmm?

Fear Fear

Treguard Ahh. That's a strange name isn't it?

Fear But you can call me milord

Treguard Well. What exactly happened to me?

Treguard I was talking to a man and I suddenly came over all cold

Treguard Listen, I see that you've helped me so what can I gift you with? Ah I know, in return for your kindness, I gift you with a spell. It's a pathetic little spell really, but I have found it to be quite useful. It's called REVEAL. Ok. Thanks again for your help! Oh, and by the way, take the path of UK primary colours on the causeway. If you don't, then I should imagine that you will, well, fall to where you will be eaten alive by red dragons!


Fear Yupp

Treguard You exit the room and proceed down a narrow corridor. The corridor itself is dank and dismal. Passing one small arched window, you exit through a portal. You enter a room with a causeway on. There are 5 rows of hexagons. The rows increase and decrease in size as they go along. You walk up to the first row.

Fear OK

Treguard Stage 1: Blue, Green

Fear Blue

Treguard Stage 2: Purple, Green, Yellow

Fear Green

Fear yupp

Treguard You step on the hexagon, and it crumbles beneath your feet pulling you to YOUR doom.

Treguard Yellow was the correct one team. At least you made the dragons happy by filling their ever lasting empty stomach!

Treguard I can't believe you failed so soon in your quest. Never mind. You did try

Fear Thanks for having us folks

Treguard OK

Fear Must eat dinner now

Treguard Thanks for coming

Fear Any questions before I sign off?

Forester Can we copy tapes of Knightmare?

Fear Don't see why not - I cannot stop you

Mystara Will you join our assassination squad to CITV?

Fear You cannot kill dead men

Mystara hehehehe

Mystara Will you be back soon?

Fear Not this evening

Mystara awww

Forester Bye

Fear Goodnight all

Mystara bye

Treguard Seya

***Fear has left #Knightmare

Begin Season 2 of the Knightmare RPG

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