Black keyboard with colour LEDs. Photo by Mateo Vrbnjak on Unsplash.

RPG Season 2 Quest 8

By Nicholas Lam

The eighth quest in the second season of the Interactive Knightmare RPG. The team is Alex and Richard.

Session 11 - 19 November 2000

Treguard Enter Stranger!

Treguard Hmm. You don't look very tough; I just hope for your sake that you don't meet anything, unpleasant in the dungeon depths. Please state your name and age please.

eviljester my name is Alex, I am 21

Treguard And where do you hail from?

eviljester Nottingham

Treguard And you go into the dungeon unaided? You must have 1 or 2 friend(s), please call their names now and loudly!

eviljester GREIG!

Treguard what are your names and where do you come from?

greig richard, aged 21 (also known as greig) llandudno

Treguard Ok then. Will you need reminding of the basic adventurer's code?

eviljester yes please

Treguard On your travels you make take two objects unless told otherwise. You can possess as many spells as you like but only cast 3 in the whole adventure. Your health status is represented by a display shown in the top right of the magic mirror. This doesn't always appear, but it goes through a few stages.

Treguard In green you are at full strength. When it turns yellow, you should be on the lookout for food, and on red you are in grave danger. There are 3 stages when the life force is red. On the 3rd red stage, you are dead! Put food into your knapsack. Designate a person on your team who will cast out spells and one who will give directions.

Treguard If you all give directions, or answers to a riddle, then the first answer/direction will be taken. Good Luck

Treguard Who is the action caller and who is the spell caster?

eviljester I am the action caller

eviljester My aid Greig the spellcaster

Treguard Right. Are you ready?

eviljester yes Treguard, Greig?

greig yes

Treguard You are sure that you want to do this? Voluntarily?

greig yes

Treguard How strange. Well then, face the dungeon door and take a brave step into the unknown. Good luck!

A hall of choice for the Knightmare RPG

Treguard You enter a plain room with four exits. Each exit has a narrow path leading up to it. Above each door is a different symbol.

Treguard This is the hall of choice. Here you must choose an object which you are to redeem in your quest. Will it be the cup that heals (which some call the chalice), the sword of freedom, the shield of justice or the crown in glory?

Treguard Go through any of the doors and you will choose that quest. Stay on the question mark, and your choice will be determined, including a quest not available to you by choice.

Treguard  May I suggest you choose the one that best suits you. There isn't really any difference in the difficulty between any of the quests.

eviljester We choose the shield of justice

Treguard An excellent choice.

Treguard You exit through that door

A settlement called Elvward in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard Welcome to Level 1, team. I can't say that I've seen this place before, as I'm sure you can understand, Level 1 changes that many times, even within a phase, that it's hard to keep track.

Treguard I believe that these grounds are the outskirts of Elvward, a small but well populated town. It's a long time since I've seen this place, so it might have expanded into the later subsections of this level. But in any case, that's for you to find out. There are two portals on the building at the back.

eviljester Walk to back of building

A clue room in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You enter a room with two exits at the back and a table in front of you. At present the table has no objects on it. A wall monster looks down at you.

eviljester Walk to left portal

Treguard ???

eviljester Go to table

Treguard "I have found that little thieves have been about my lair and have stolen goods from me. If you go ahead with the questioning, I will put the objects back onto the table, no matter what the score is. Do you agree?"

eviljester We agree

Treguard Ok then. Please wait while I just search my bag. hang on!!

eviljester Greig, this is your type of challenge

Treguard "Here is my first question. Faces I have, but I am not a living thing, roll me if you will, but I am not round. What am I?"

greig die

Treguard CORRECT

Treguard "Here is my second. I have notes, but I cannot write. I can be heard or seen, but never touched."

greig music

Treguard CORRECT

Treguard "Here is my third. Rearrange the letters of NOR DO WE to make one word."

eviljester greig

Treguard Time out...

Treguard The answer I sought was "One Word"

eviljester Evil monster.

An hourglass image for the Knightmare RPG

Treguard TIME OUT!

Treguard Well, I don't think you'll be doing anything, at least not until next week. Will our brave team in quest succeed in challenging my dungeon, and redeem the object which they seek? Who knows, but the sands of time are starting to run out. Join us again for Knightmare, pleasant dreams.

Session 12 - 26 November 2000

Image of Treguard for the Knightmare RPG

Treguard: My - that wind had a nasty howl. Please close the door behind you and come to the fire. I believe the score is still 7 to the opposition, and 0 to us. There are still 4 sessions left. Perhaps a team who is brave and smart enough will master the dungeon and bring a quest item back to us. In case you haven't heard, there is a large task force being mounted by the evil one himself.

Treguard It's people like yourselves we need to save the dungeon. Team 8 are currently in progress, and looking at the timer, there is still plenty of time left, so let's cut to the chase. For those of you with little recollection of what happened last week, here is a progress report.

A Level 1 clue room in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard Some objects appear on the table in front of you

Treguard "Two is the score young fool. You may of course know some more. The help I present to you now concerns only one object on the table."

Treguard "Has this got your tongue?"

Treguard I sleep now but will return.

Treguard The monster falls asleep

eviljester walk to table

Treguard On the table are:

Treguard Descriptions are available

eviljester how many items may I take Treguard?

Treguard 2 - not including food

eviljester pick up food

Treguard you pick up the food and put it in your knapsack

eviljester Look at catnip

Treguard The bottle contains a green liquid

Treguard [please remember 4-minute time limit]

eviljester Pick up catnip

eviljester pick up key

Treguard Done

eviljester ok which door?

Treguard Is Grieg there?

eviljester yes we are communicating

Treguard Please communicate in the main window

greig the right?

eviljester walk through right portal

%IMAGE 2999%%

Treguard You emerge in another section of the castle ruins. There are two exits, one at the back and one on the side wall. There is a spyglass in front of you

eviljester pick up spyglass

A spyglass sequence in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You pick it up.

eviljester oh my


A spyglass sequence in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

"Now, have you been feeding our major task force properly? I'd hate them to go into battle undernourished."

"I shouldn't worry about that"

"No Sire don't worry at all. We've got it all under control"

"Good. As long as Treguard pays for every bit of pain he has caused the opposition, that's fine."

"What about his dungeoneers?"

"They might present a problem to us"

"Let's not worry about that at this time. In any case, there are more pressing matters to attend to. I want you two to change the password for the end of this level. I can't tell you the word obviously, but you'll find it lying about the Level. Just make sure you can re-arrange the pieces well.

"Yes Sire, we're both good at that"

"That shouldn't be a problem"

"Good. Oh my, what's this? I do believe, yes, well if it isn't a dungeoneer. DIE!!!!"


eviljester put down spyglass

Treguard you put it down

Treguard Useful bit of spying team. Where to now?

eviljester it seems we may have to find the password

eviljester walk to side exit

A bridge area in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You emerge on a small platform. Not too far into the distance, a man stands looking around aimlessly.

eviljester talk to man

Treguard "Please don't bother me"

eviljester I see no exits

Treguard The path continues off to the left

greig should we go to the left then?

eviljester Walk to left

A sitting woman in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You enter a small chapel. Sat on the floor is a woman. There are two portals at the back

eviljester talk to woman

Treguard "Hi there. You look like you're looking for something. Anything in particular?"

eviljester the way to Level 2… and the password

Treguard "I've seen the password lying about the level but haven't seen anything recently."

eviljester thank u anyway

eviljester walk to portal

Treguard Something of interest I feel here team

eviljester yes I notice an E

Treguard An E?

eviljester naughty naughty. could be a B its hidden

eviljester walk to portals

Treguard How to uncover it is the problem

eviljester lady> what are u hiding there?

Treguard Oh this? It's some letter. I don't know

eviljester is it a B or an E?

Treguard I wouldn't know, I can only see part of it

eviljester Lady> please can u move?

Treguard "Of course"

The woman reveals a letter E in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

eviljester A beautiful lady such as yourself has other important things to do, I am sure

eviljester Greig look! Its an E

eviljester Walk to portal

Treguard "There you go. I hope that helps. Farewell, and good luck."

eviljester Lady> Thank u for your help

Treguard no problem

greig cheers love

A snake creature in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You emerge just in front of the entrance to a small security tower. There is a portal at the end of the path, but blocking the way is…is….

"Yes, Treguard. It is I. The Ssssssnake man. Feared by other men. Adored by female snnnnakkesss and possibly human females, I'm not sssure. In any cassse, I'm going to put an end to thiss quesst once and for all before it goesss any further.

The master is most satisfied with our performancessss sssso far, many of your teamsssss haven't even made it passssst level 1. Anyway, hello there dungeoneer. I hope you're ready for your demissssse.

Oh, don't worry, I'll give you the obligatory few sssecondssss to grovel and ussssse your pathetic magic."

eviljester Walk forward

Treguard You must do something quick team. Whatever it is, do it fast!

eviljester SSSnnnake> What must I do to continue in my quest

Treguard Hahah, you expect me to answer? If you have come this far, you should be able to use your brain

Treguard He cannot be bargained with. You now have 10 seconds

eviljester Use catnip

A large cat faces the snake in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard "OHHH MY GOD!!!! Sh*t!!!!!!!!!"

Treguard "Meow!!!!"

eviljester hahaha

Treguard The cat looks at the Snake Man's tongue

eviljester go cat

Treguard "No, not that! No!!"

greig good move

eviljester The ultimate female

greig hell yeah

Treguard Phew, that was close!

eviljester Walk forward

Treguard In immense terror, the snake man scampers off quickly.

Treguard "I shouldn't stick around team. I should go while it's not looking.

Treguard You exit

A portal in a wall in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You emerge on the other side of the security tower. Ahead of you is a portal.

eviljester Look greig an I and a C

eviljester Walk to portal

A causeway of letters in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You enter a causeway. You must get across by spelling a word which is printed going from start to finish. Hurry!

Treguard But I also sense other magical things here team

greig how long?

Treguard Quick team! For the love of GOD!

eviljester walk to c

Treguard yes

Treguard Time is almost out team. I hope you have the answer!

eviljester C

greig cavern

Treguard CORRECT

eviljester YES!

eviljester that doesn't use all the letters

greig that was far too close

Treguard you exit

A locked outside area in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You emerge in a small courtyard. There is one exit, which is locked. Hurry team, life force critical!

greig use key maybe

eviljester Use key

A portal is opened in a wall in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You use the key on the lock. The door disappears and a portal in the wall is revealed. Ah, this must be a magical key team, for you have also unlocked hidden secrets within this room. But no time to waste, life force is fading!

Treguard Team?

eviljester Walk to door

A chapel area in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You enter the gardens of another small chapel on the other side of the town. On the floor in front of you is an orange, while at the back of the room is a portal.

eviljester Pick up orange

greig got the A

Treguard you pick it up

eviljester Go to portal

Treguard I should hurry team, I hear footsteps

A skeletron guard in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You emerge on the very outskirts of the town. In front of you is an exit while the landscape on the other side of it stretches for miles. Blocking the exit is a skeletron.

Treguard "If you have the password, state it now. But, if you give me the wrong word, or even no word, then you will perish here and now."

Treguard I'm waiting

eviljester is it just one word?

Treguard "It always is"

Treguard "I am getting very annoyed. Hurry, or I will kill you

eviljester Hang on

Treguard "Hang on? I WANT THE WORD NOW!"

eviljester CREMATION!

Treguard CORRECT

Treguard you may pass

The boat and boatman in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You continue down a path until you reach a jetty at the riverbank. Next to the jetty is a figure.

Treguard "I see you have come for a ride to Level 2. You must be one of the king's servants. If that is so, then you can have a free ride, since the bill is being charged directly to him. It's a dragon debit, a recent development here actually. Right well then, please get in the boat and we'll be off"

eviljester walk into boat

Treguard That's it, sit yourself down there

Treguard Just let me get my big stick out. And we'll be off

The boat sails in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard The figure turns around and sets the small boat in motion.

Treguard "God knows why you want Level 2. There are creatures even I don't like down there. Even my cousin Death doesn't like to deal with them. Ah right, it's coming up. Are you sure that you want to get out here?

eviljester Thank you but I must continue

eviljester Get out of boat

Treguard "Very well then, Level 2 here we come"

eviljester this is great

Treguard thanks

Treguard is grieg still there? or did we leave him back in Level 1?

greig buzzin'. still here, just

The start of Level 2 in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard Congratulations team. You have reached Level 2. Around 80% of teams make it to Level 2, but the question is, can you make it to Level 3? Food will be very scarce here. There are two exits in front of you

greig RIGHT or left?

eviljester Look an F, could that be a new word forming?

eviljester Walk through right portal

A spyglass in a wooden room in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You enter a room split in two. Your path continues around the wall on the other side of the room. In front of you is a spyglass.

eviljester Pick up spyglass

A spyglass sequence in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

"So, as I was saying, Blade is on holiday in Level 2. Even though he's on holiday, he'll keep an eye out for dungeoneers in that Level anyway, so there's no chance of the little darlings getting through with him there. His blades are so strong and resistant, that even rust potions or rust spells won't work on him.

A spyglass sequence in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

"Yes Sir. Another matter which I wanted to raise with you was Meridian."

"What about him?"

"Meridian is currently under the command of Ixia."

"Yes, I did know that, but I didn't know why."

"Well, Ixia actually has three of his females captive in her dungeon on the final subsection of Level 2. There isn't any way to break into the complex where the females are kept since the dungeon is still forming in that area."

"I see. So, since the "path" as Treguard calls it hasn't formed a link between Level 2 and the complex, there is no way to save them. I see."

"There's still the problem that the dungeon could form that link you understand. Another risk factor is that this link development could be speeded up"

"I see. You're right. For the dungeon to develop faster, a Potion of Quickening would be needed. Right, open the air god's tomb and have him guard all the exits. I know there's a tradesman who wanders around there and I don't want Meridian -or anybody else for that matter- finding him. See to it then!"

"Yes sir at once. By the way, did you want me to dispose of that person who is spying on us?"

"NOO!!!! Quick get him!"


eviljester drop spyglass

Treguard you drop it

eviljester Walk around to exit

A clue room in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You walk around the corner to the other half of the room. There are two exits, a table, and a man standing just to the left.

Treguard "I see that you need some assistance. Fear not, for I mean you no harm. I sometimes appear here to give help to travellers or people like yourself. I will give you a clue about one of the objects you should take. "Shield yourself from resistance." May luck favour you and may your path be light.

eviljester i think we need something to do with that then!

eviljester Look at table

Treguard On the table are:

eviljester Pick up food

Treguard you pick it up

eviljester Look at shield

Treguard The shield is very strong and looks like it has hardly ever been used.

eviljester Pick up shield

Treguard you pick up the shield

eviljester Greig: I think the gold in case we meet the tradesman

greig good move

eviljester Look at gold and rope

Treguard The gold is a solid bar of yellow metal

Treguard The rope is very long and is similar to that used as rigging on ships.

eviljester I really like the look of the rope but we need gold

eviljester No forget it the rope. Pick up rope

eviljester Walk to right portal

eviljester friendly bloke> thank u

Treguard It's ok

A deity called Air in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You enter a small stone room. There are two exits, one of them locked. Just in front of you is a massive figure emerging from a black pit.

Treguard "You dare enter the tomb of Air! I am offended by your presence. Prepare to be ripped to pieces in one gust of wind."

eviljester Look an R!

eviljester Use shield

Treguard You hold the shield up and walk to the exit.

A colourful chamber in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You enter a large room with one exit at the back.

eviljester Look an E. We now have F R E

eviljester Is that a table?

Treguard No

eviljester Walk to exit

A shop in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

eviljester Look another E and a Z

eviljester that's FREEZ

Treguard You emerge in a strange room. There are two exits and a man talking to himself

eviljester Man> Good day to you sir

Treguard "Oh hello there, young traveller. I have many items on offer. My special today are potions. I have loads of potions. Would you be interested in one of those?"

eviljester Most my good man

Treguard "What potion do you want then?"

eviljester Man> what have u?

Treguard I have hundreds of potions. But which one do you want?

eviljester Have you a quickening potion sir?

Treguard "Ah. You can have every potion but that one. There's just one in stock and it's for them. They're paying silver which for me is a blessing, because I don't see much of the finer metals you see."

eviljester Man> do you need anything else?

Treguard No. Ah well. I suppose I'll have to settle for the silver then. Goodbye

Treguard The man turns around and ignores you

eviljester goodbye?

eviljester offer rope

Treguard F*ck Off

eviljester oh my god

Treguard {{hmm, that wasn't in the script}}

eviljester u know now that we are gonna die

greig too f*ing right

Treguard Maybe, Maybe not, we'll see

Meridian the Centaur in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

eviljester hello

Treguard You emerge in another outside area. At the back of the area is a portal, while just in front of you is a centaur.

Treguard "I am Meridian. I have been commanded to destroy all that is not evil or under power of the Unholy King himself. I can sense that your intentions are good, so prepare to die!"

eviljester ok meridian we know how to save your women

Treguard Really? How?

eviljester A quickening potion is for sale

Treguard You waste my time

eviljester no really - it will create a path to save u

Treguard DIE YOU

Treguard "I shall enjoy this. HAHAHA!!!"

Image of the skull dead sequence for the Knightmare RPG

eviljester no!

greig no

Treguard Oooh nasty. Team, you needed to use a potion of quickening here. Now I must dismiss you so that we can get another team under way. Spellcasting DISMISS.

Treguard Ah well, a good try

eviljester Treguard you beardy man that rope was far too specific to be ignored

Treguard I can't help that. (Well, maybe I can)

Treguard I wonder who the next victim will be?

eviljester Treguard: You have destroyed the life of 2 knightmare fanatics

Credits in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

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