Corded gaming headset. Photo by Fabian Albert on Unsplash.

RPG Season 2 Quest 6

By Nicholas Lam

The sixth quest in the second season of the Interactive Knightmare RPG. The team is Steve, Mark and Eric.

Session 9 - 05 November 2000


Treguard You don't look very tough; I just hope for your sake that you don't meet anything, unpleasant in the dungeon depths. Please state your name and age please.

Treguard And where do you hail from?

Pickle Can't we throw this one back, Master? I want the last team back again...

Treguard Pickle! Shut Up! We don't want to discourage our teams!

Steve home of the stolen car

RaNg lol

Treguard I don't think they have that many adventures there

*Pickle shuts up

Steve yea we do

Treguard Ok then; let's get to grips with this adventure then. I expect that you've already read the rules and regulations of the dungeon provided on the Knightmare website. If not, well, it's just tough luck as websites haven't been invented yet here. For those who merely watch, here's a brief reminder.

Treguard On your travels you make take two objects unless told otherwise. You can possess as many spells as you like but only cast 3 in the whole adventure. Your health status is represented by a display shown in the top right of the magic mirror.

Treguard This doesn't always appear, but it goes through a few stages. In green you are at full strength. When it turns yellow, you should be on the lookout for food, and on red you are in grave danger. There are 3 stages when the life force is red.

Treguard On the 3rd red stage, you are dead! Put food into your knapsack and designate a person on your team who will cast out spells, and one who will give directions.

Treguard If you all give directions, or answers to a riddle, then the first answer / direction will be taken. Good Luck

Treguard Oh by the way

Steve I will cast spells

TheBaldYeti I'll be action caller

Treguard What will your quest be for? The Cup, Crown, Sword, Shield, or Unknown i.e. MYSTERY quest

Pickle They seem to be deciding for themselves, master. Initiative is a nice quality in a team, so it is.

Pickle The cup... the cup...

Treguard Pickle it's their choice! Not YOURS!

Steve sword?

TheBaldYeti Sword



Treguard The Sword? An excellent choice

Pickle So tetchy, you are.

Treguard Take a bold step into the unknown!

TheBaldYeti I think I'm allergic to elves

TheBaldYeti forward we go

Pickle Good luck... you're going to need it...

Treguard I'm sure they will Pickle

Dark gardens in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard Welcome to Level 1 team. Here you have very little to worry about, but always be on guard for food and objects for which you can use on your quest.

Treguard You are currently on a path which winds its way through a small garden area. At the back of the garden is a shed. If you continue along the path, you will eventually come to a portal.

Treguard It's up to you team

TheBaldYeti Can we get into the shed?

Steve lets go

Treguard yes

RaNg go in the shed

Treguard OK

TheBaldYeti walk inside

Treguard The only objects in there are a pitchfork with blood stains on it.

Pickle I don't like sheds, team...

Treguard You don't like sheds?

Steve what is the other stuff

Treguard Well, it's for the team to decide whether there's anything useful

TheBaldYeti Shall we take it team?

Pickle I know... "it's not my quest..."

Steve y not we can always drop it

Steve if we don't need it

Treguard I should hurry team

RaNg I don't think we need it

TheBaldYeti Take the pitchfork and leave

Treguard you leave

A Level 1 clue room in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You enter a small hall shaped room with an exit at the very back of the room. Just in front of you is a table with some objects on it while on the right wall is a wall monster.

Treguard "Oh not another one. I'm going to have to go on a holiday. All of this damp weather and hard work is starting to tire me. Ah well. I hope you're ready dungeoneer.

Treguard You have come in search for clue objects, and some information to help you decide on what objects to take. Well, you must earn you information."

Treguard "Listen team. With 2 correct answers you will get minimal information about your quest. With 3 correct answers you will get all information and after which you should call out

Treguard "I command You" to receive a bonus. Score 1 and you will get no information. Score 0 and your quest will end sooner than you think."

Pickle Wall monsters... which one is this, master?

Treguard I'm not sure. Possibly Stoney

RaNg ok guys

Pickle Never heard of him.

Treguard "The time of questioning begins. Here is my first

Treguard And there will be no help, from pesky elves or dungeon masters!

Treguard It has the power of healing my dear young Jason, Your Argonautic skills will prove you well in you search, But what object is this?

* Pickle mysteriously becomes gagged

Treguard AN ANSWER!

TheBaldYeti do you know steve?

Steve is it the golden fleece

Treguard Truth Accepted

Treguard Here is my second:

Treguard Who destroyed the Cyclops, And the Odyssey the name of his ship, And was cursed to sail for 20 years without finding his home land?

Steve Odysseus

TheBaldYeti I think its Odysseus

RaNg I agree

Treguard Is that your answer?

TheBaldYeti yes


Treguard Ulysses was the answer I sought

Treguard Here is my third and final question:

Treguard We're sometimes found with 52 others, But part of them we are not,Sometimes discarded we are, Rummy we float, or not float-That is the question

Treguard What am I?

Steve playing cards

Steve maybe

Treguard I need a in depth answer!

Steve help guys

TheBaldYeti could be jokers

Steve yes


Treguard Two is the score. You may know more.

Treguard "Noughts and Crosses are present, but noughts you want not"

Treguard The monster sinks back into the wall and falls asleep.

TheBaldYeti what are the items

Treguard Descriptions are available

TheBaldYeti describe all

Treguard Bread = It is food

Treguard Cross = The cross is one used for religious purposes

Treguard Horn = The horn has a large bowel area for which to produce a very deep sound.

Treguard Coin = It is a dark yellow coloured coin.

Steve does it count as an item

Pickle Eat the bread, team!

Steve the food

TheBaldYeti eat bread

Steve eat bread

Treguard you take the bread

TheBaldYeti We don't want a nought so I don't think we need the coin!

RaNg I would take the coin

Pickle Master, this isn't fair, there's no scroll this time...

Steve the CROSS

RaNg take the cross

Steve take that?

TheBaldYeti take cross

Treguard You take the CROSS

TheBaldYeti do you think we should drop the fork and take the horn

RaNg hmm

Steve describe fork

Treguard If only you got 3 correct

Treguard The fork is stained with blood

RaNg we are at yellow

Treguard Examine deeper team

Treguard What can you see?

Pickle I think I am going to be sick...

Steve a symbol on the wall?

TheBaldYeti where

Treguard Doesn't matter

Pickle Besides, you're probably wasting life force... shouldn't they hurry, master?

Treguard the objects

Treguard Indeed Pickle

TheBaldYeti should we drop the fork and take horn

RaNg I guess

Steve why not?

Pickle Hurry Team!

TheBaldYeti drop pitchfork and take the horn

RaNg do it

Steve go for it

TheBaldYeti now leave

Treguard You pick up the horn

Treguard Descriptions are available

TheBaldYeti describe the horn further

Steve on TV the horn was used against goblins or something

Steve i think

Treguard Horn = the Horn has a Crown engraved on it and has a deep bowl area

Treguard Cross = The cross is used at religious ceremonies

RaNg the horn was a trap

Steve lets leave

Treguard Coin = The coin is yellow and has a T stamped on it

RaNg leave

Treguard Whoops!

TheBaldYeti leave

Treguard You leave

A spyglass out in the open in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard You enter a small garden area with a path which splits in two and leads to two exits at the back. In front of you on the floor is a spyglass.

Steve look at spy glass

Pickle That spyglass is probably genetically modified...

Forester> [Sorry but is there a UFO in that pic?]

TheBaldYeti use spyglass

Treguard You pick up the spyglass and use it

A spyglass sequence in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

"Silence, you stupid preachers. I know that you want to worship me, but really this is stupid. Can't you just chant or whatever it is that you're doing quietly?

Ah forget this, Spell Casting MUTE. Ah, that's better, now for today's events. Mmmm, yes, yes, ah right. Hey, you, over here!"

A spyglass sequence in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Steve did we not pick up a horn or a fork

TheBaldYeti [we dropped fork and took horn]

Treguard you picked up the horn

Treguard yep

TheBaldYeti can we draw a tash on him

Steve do we have a spell



"Yes right. There's a dungeoneer in Level 1. I want you to go and find this dungeoneer and destroy it. Now, remember…"



"Yes. I'm paying you good money to catch this thing, and that'll go a long way to help you buy that new arm you always wanted.

BTW, How's the shop coming along. How are your ex-customers? Well, they WERE customers, but then you decided to eat them, ah well."


"What? Oh my, oh, my. I do believe, yes, you're right. It's a little dungeoneer. Stay right there dungeoneer, because papa's sending something real good to pick you up!"

Steve drop it?

RaNg yes

TheBaldYeti drop spyglass

Treguard You drop the spyglass

Treguard A useful bit of eavesdropping team

Steve where do we go

RaNg right - they know where we are

An hourglass image for the Knightmare RPG

Treguard Ah. Time Out. Punctual as ever. Will our team triumph in victory, or will evil prevail? Find out next week, and just keep telling yourself that it's only a game.

Treguard There that's better isn't it? Just keep telling yourself that and you may just believe it.

Treguard If you're just dying to see what happens next, then you'll have to come back again same time next week won't you. Just don't disappoint me. Me neither!

Credits in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Session 10 - 12 November 2000

Treguard: Hello there, watchers. Come in come in. It might still be Autumn where you are, but here in the dungeon, Winter comes early. My that is a howling gale.

Treguard That's the sound of an evil tyrant at work plotting and scheming to prevent the powers from be from having a successful quest. There is still much time left, but so little time to waste. Go on then off with you.

Treguard Oh I'm sorry, I forgot. For those of you who forgot, here's a brief reminder of what has already happened.


Treguard You put down the spyglass and exit

Steve rang is not here

Treguard yep. Ah well

Treguard there's a nice bit coming up...

A necromancer in the second season of the Knightmare RPG.

Treguard "If you possess my token, pass and take the prevention from being a mutilated corpse. If you do give me the wrong token. If you have no token, then I shall rape you and your rotting heap of flesh and bones will have playful carnage all over it."

TheBaldYeti looks like I'll have to go on without the mirror

TheBaldYeti sounds nasty

Steve who is the guy

Treguard This Team, is the Necromancer

TheBaldYeti who said that

Treguard Whatever you're going to do, do it fast!

Steve use the cross

Steve talk to him

Treguard I will only talk when you show my token

Steve show him the cross

TheBaldYeti Show him the cross

Treguard "ARGH! You do not have my token. Now, you will perish and satisfy my needs."

Image of the skull dead sequence for the Knightmare RPG

TheBaldYeti oops

Treguard Ooh Nasty! Well team. You didn't have the Necromancer's token, did you? The coin back in the clue room. Ah well never mind. Spell Casting DISMISS.

Steve here we were blind

TheBaldYeti good luck next team

Steve ah f~~~~

Treguard I don't think it would have helped you. Thanks for playing!

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