Fan Creations

We've had a lot of fun making the series over the past 6 years, but what do I really think of it? Find out now in Jake's Throwback Reviews! Episode: Series 2, Episode 4 Original Release Date: 15th February 2014 Throwback Review Date: 5th April 2016 Score: 5 out of 5 (brilliant) The Good: Izzy's gang is currently my favourite Audio Series team of all. Although I wrote the bulk of the script for this quest, Rosey is entirely responsible for conceiving Izzy as a character – she always knew exactly what she was going to be like and how she wanted to play her. The three male advisors complement Izzy perfectly. Clym Angus and Damon Wakes both sound wonderful as smooth-talking mid-teenaged boys (neither of them was actually teenaged while recording his part but the illusion is created perfectly) while the genuinely teenaged voice of Jordan Munn (which is cut from a different cloth than the other two but still extremely pleasing to the ear) provides the perfect auditory contrast to the other advisors. The strong, easygoing, fun and flirty group dynamic achieved by the amalgamation of the four voices is quite extraordinary and almost entirely accidental – you could audition actors for weeks and never find a better one! In terms of vocal harmony, Izzy's team is just perfect in my opinion. The content of Izzy's Level 1 is quite brilliant. The elf face-off is an inspired scene (envisioned and created entirely by Rosey) and is vividly brought to life by Gemma Dwarwood as Velda and Amy Davies as Elita. The scene with Lillith's hangover and the icepack comes across extremely well. The sound effects for the swamp sequence are superb. The Bad: I wish I had checked the erroneous fact about elephants' knees before the final edit so that a few dialogue tweaks could have been made. (I got it from an episode of Count Duckula, which is clearly not infallible as an information source, as I had naïvely imagined.) Still, at least Daniel never believed it – he is the elephant expert, after all! In an ideal world, the four lines of Merlin's first riddle would have been reversed so that Izzy could have burst out laughing at the word “nipples” as soon as Merlin said it. Conclusion: In my opinion this is as darn near perfect as an Audio Series episode can really get.

We've had a lot of fun making the series over the past 6 years, but what do I really think of it? Find out now in Jake's Throwback Reviews! Episode: Series 2, Episode 3 Original Release Date: 21st December 2013 Throwback Review Date: 4th April 2016 Score: 5 out of 5 (brilliant) The Good: Megan's team is fantastic to listen to. Catie Clark is superlatively convincing in the dungeoneer role, Antony Rowe just sounds ideal as a confident, no-nonsense male advisor, and Cassandra Smith is excellent too. The illusion of the group dynamic is convincingly created by the perfect combination of wonderful line readings from the actors and strong characterisation in the script. The quest is well conceived and superbly pulled off. The scene with Gumboil and the snake is a highlight (with the background music getting its first really effective outing in the series) as is the whole business in the Crazed Heifer, with Marta, Sylvester Hands and Megan all interacting perfectly. The timing of the cliffhanger ending is quite accidental of course, but it's very effective. The Bad: Mike's voice is actually a bit too close to Sylvester Hands', but that one little niggle doesn't spoil such a brilliant scene. Conclusion: A wonderful episode that richly deserves full marks.

We've had a lot of fun making the series over the past 6 years, but what do I really think of it? Find out now in Jake's Throwback Reviews! Episode: Series 2, Episode 2 Original Release Date: 19th October 2013 Throwback Review Date: 3rd April 2016 Score: 3 out of 5 (good) The Good: The opening is quick and slick and does its job well – so much better than all the crawling preamble in the first series! We get our pay-off with Maldame, Captain Nemanor and Hordriss; I still think it's a good set-up for the series. Amy Davies makes her show-stealing debut in a non-team member role, this time doing wonderful things with Heggatty. Towards the end of the episode we start to get some very nice use of background music, which is a really good bit of editorial advancement in this series. We only get a taster of them here, but the three new actors joining me on Megan's team (Catie Clark, Antony Rowe and Cassandra Smith) all sound absolutely brilliant – fresh, genuine and charismatic. The Bad: The conversation between Hordriss and Captain Nemanor is not what it should be; it needs to be funnier or shorter, or maybe both. I quite like the actual dialogue in the remainder of Ethan's quest, but for whatever reason the script is not quite catching fire as it should. Conclusion: Okay, so the series has been quite nicely set up and the second quest has begun; there is a promise of great things to come, and it's a promise that will not be broken.

We've had a lot of fun making the series over the past 6 years, but what do I really think of it? Find out now in Jake's Throwback Reviews! Episode: Series 2, Episode 1 Original Release Date: 17th August 2013 Throwback Review Date: 2nd April 2016 Score: 3 out of 5 (good) The Good: I think this episode manages to some extent to evoke the excitement and expectation that always accompanied a new series of Knightmare – the promise of further revelations about Captain Nemanor's new arrangements with Maldame and old adventures with Hordriss should bring listeners flocking back for more, if nothing else! Ben Fieldhouse does some very good work as Ethan, especially when Marta is making him feel uncomfortable. (The stuff with Marta might be a bit too risqué for some tastes, but I think it's funny!) I like the Gumboil scene, although I think I did his voice too deep in this series. The debut of the Hall of Folly unfolds rather nicely. The Bad: Some teams sound great together, some teams don't sound so good, and usually this is a complete accident that could never be predicted by hearing the voices individually. The majority of the teams in this second series seem to me to have a really strong group dynamic, due to a combination of good luck, great vocal skills and solid script work. This is in no way meant as a criticism of any particular actor on the current team, but now that I listen back after hearing the whole of the second series, Ethan and friends don't really gel that well. Undoubtedly this is partly due to bad luck that this particular combination of four voices doesn't go together so well, and partly due to a script that is rather lacklustre in places. Again, Hordriss does go on a bit. Everything he says is important to establish where the series is going, but the dialogue could do with some rewording and trimming. The same is true of Treguard's exposé at the start of the wall monster room. Ethan should probably have remarked on the fact that the answer to the first of Phelheim's riddles is also his own surname. The fuse on the bomb should have lit during the massive chunk of dialogue before Ethan leaves the room, rather than been burning all the time. Conclusion: As with the first episode of the first series, I enjoyed listening to this a bit more than I was expecting to. In some ways it's a strong start to the second series; in other ways it's rather a weak start. I wouldn't offer this episode to showcase the Audio Series at anything like its best, but it sets up the series well and it's pretty good overall.

We've had a lot of fun making the series over the past 6 years, but what do I really think of it? Find out now in Jake's Throwback Reviews! Episode: Specials 1, Episode 4 Original Release Date: 29th June 2013 Throwback Review Date: 1st April 2016 Score: 5 out of 5 (brilliant) The Good: This was the first time Rosey and I specially designed the team members to match the particular delivery style and vocal skills of the actors who were going to play them, which I think helps to make the team as a whole sound really good. Amy Davies does a wonderful job as team leader Imogen, Gemma Dwarwood brings her uniquely confrontational style to the role of Anne-Marie, Becs Houghton-Berry brings the not-quite-on-the-ball Courtney to life so well, and John Liu's melodious tones are perfect for the affably naïve Matthew. The content of the quest itself is pretty much entirely excellent in my opinion. Finally we get to hear the epic Lord-Fear-kidnaps-Sidriss plot that Knightmare was always crying out for but never got, which can only be a good thing! The later Knightmare vibe is still prevalent and works even better than in the previous episode. I love Matthew's total reliance on Imogen, even after he's back in the antechamber and has the helmet off! The Bad: Some of Hordriss's dialogue is a bit long winded, although the kernel of everything he says is fully justified artistically, I think. Again, it's a shame that the fireball sound effects in Marblehead are a bit too loud and sometimes interfere with the dialogue. Conclusion: It pretty well reaches its full potential, and showcases everything that the Audio Series can and should do. I love it.

We've had a lot of fun making the series over the past 6 years, but what do I really think of it? Find out now in Jake's Throwback Reviews! Episode: Specials 1, Episode 3 Original Release Date: 24th December 2012 Throwback Review Date: 31st March 2016 Score: 4 out of 5 (very good) The Good: While the previous two specials had a vibe from Knightmare's middle series, this one moves on to mostly feeling like the final few series. I think it evokes the flavour of them very well indeed, especially with the spyglass sequences. The long overdue debut of Amy Davies adds a great deal of fresh spirit to the team. The door monsters work really well in audio (it's almost like they were specially designed for this format!) and I think they add a huge amount to the series as a whole. I like the succession of characters with different bits of help on Level 1, amongst them Oakley sounding the best we've heard him. The scene with Merlin and Gundrada is a nice spin on some of the stocks scenes from Knightmare's fourth series. The conveyer belt grinding to a halt is one of the best sound effects we've ever had. Lindsay and Sylvester Hands have a wonderful exchange. The Maldame scene (with added Margaret Thatcher) is utterly inspired. Dooreen's “first bird” question always makes me smile. Lindsay's surprise demise is a pleasing parody of one of Knightmare's latest and dodgiest deaths. The Bad: I think the attempt to recreate Pickle's first appearance in Knightmare's sixth series is only partially successful. The scene with the assassin really needs some background ambiance in the same style as the real show. I'd like to give my reading of the Jack Frost riddle a bit more expression. I'm not sure Smirkenorff should find dragon mints “stimulating” as such. I don't think it was a good idea to reuse Sylvester Hands' “posh girl's name” line from the previous Christmas special with Gundrada, and it doesn't come across nearly so well here. Some of the fireball sound effects are a bit too loud and interfere with the dialogue slightly. Conclusion: This episode certainly maintains the high standard of the specials compared to the first series; it would only need a few tweaks to make it brilliant.

We've had a lot of fun making the series over the past 6 years, but what do I really think of it? Find out now in Jake's Throwback Reviews! Episode: Specials 1, Episode 2 Original Release Date: 12th July 2012 Throwback Review Date: 30th March 2016 Score: 5 out of 5 (brilliant) The Good: Thank goodness the deepening effect is no longer on Treguard's voice! As this is my own vision of later Knightmare gameplay in audio form (very much inspired by Rosey's vision from the previous special) I find it very satisfying to listen to. As a reworking of Knightmare's fifth and sixth series in particular, I feel it comes off extremely well, with lots of characters, scenes and situations pleasingly parodied and nicely spun. I especially like the whole situation with Gwendoline and Sylvester Hands as a spin on a particular quest set-up from the real show. Liam's exchanges with Sylvester Hands and Julius Scaramonger are two of my all-time favourite scenes. I'm very pleased with Merlin's pedlar trick, including a nice spin on Mercury's slipper from the real show in the shape of Morpheus's sand-timer. I love the sound of the team (probably because they are some of my favourite voices from the first series chosen specially for this episode) and I'm particularity glad that Luke Thompson finally gets his chance to shine in the lead role of Liam, to which he brings buckets of youthful vigour and spunk. I was very fond of the four guys from real life that this team is based on (including Liam with his cascade of blond hair) and this episode always reminds me of them. The Bad: The script is really a bit too ambitious for its own good in places – some of the lines for the team members are not very suitable for a cold reading and were bound to come out a bit weird. For example, Liam's comment in Winteria “That must be why it's so cold all of a sudden” is supposed to be sarcastic (as obviously he can't feel the cold himself!) and I worry that it doesn't quite come across that way – it needed a little bit of contextualising. At the end of the headless Sidriss scene, I should have said “I strongly suggest that you get him moving” to follow on from the first part of the sentence. My Oakley voice is even worse than before – it needs to be much deeper – although I do like the way in which I repeated the final question. Perhaps Cameron shouldn't have recognised the frightknight flag if he didn't realise that the symbol above the Descender door was a frightknight too. Conclusion: I wouldn't claim that this episode is anywhere near perfect, but personally I absolutely love it!

We've had a lot of fun making the series over the past 6 years, but what do I really think of it? Find out now in Jake's Throwback Reviews! Episode: Specials 1, Episode 1 Original Release Date: 24th December 2011 Throwback Review Date: 29th March 2016 Score: 4 out of 5 (very good) The Good: Once again Rosey has blazed the trail for the future of the series, this time by demonstrating how some of Knightmare's later gameplay can work in audio. The whole quest fits together very well, making the journey out of Knightmare's early series smoothly and seamlessly. My particular favourite scenes are the Wolfenden trading exchange, Sylvester Hands' slightly pervy introduction, Ridolfo's embarrassing demands, Play Your Cards Right, Merlin's opposite riddles (which was the one idea I contributed to the quest) and everything with Winteria and Aesandre. The Bad: I find it a bit too Christmassy in places, but I guess that's just the Scrooge in me! I don't think I made Oakley's voice deep enough, and my Julius Scaramonger isn't quite there. Conclusion: I have heard Rosey expressing dissatisfaction with the overall quality of this quest in recent times, but I am always quick to assure her that it represents an important milestone for the Audio Series, and that there's a lot to be said for its actual content too.

I giggled and cackled many times, especially at the last part. Very well done!

We've had a lot of fun making the series over the past 6 years, but what do I really think of it? Find out now in Jake's Throwback Reviews! Episode: Series 1, Episode 16 Original Release Date: 8th October 2011 Throwback Review Date: 25th March 2016 Score: 4 out of 5 (very good) The Good: All the positive things I said in my previous review about the team, Velda and Treguard hold true in this episode. A couple of bits of last-minute variety from Ariadne and the minecart ride ensure that the series does not end on too predictable a note. I laughed when Treguard started quoting Strictly Come Dancing at the start of Level 3. I feel that this is the closest we ever came to getting Mogdred right. Having heard it said that his dialogue on the real show comes straight from the mouths of '80s cartoon villains, I went back to the '80s in my mind (as I often like to, for various reasons) and pillaged dialogue straight from the mouths of some of my favourite '80s cartoon villains! There is inspiration from Skeletor (He-Man and the Masters of Universe), Stampede (Bravestarr) and Ming the Merciless (Flash Gordon/Defenders of the Earth) for those who are old and/or nerdy enough to spot it! I think it works, on the whole. The Bad: The episode does suffer slightly in places from over-long team discussion that was designed to be cut down for time if necessary, which it obviously wasn't in the end! I'm not entirely convinced by the use of the RETREAT spell. A few sound effects when Finn was climbing into the minecart would have been a good idea. Conclusion: This episode is very nearly brilliant, like the last one. Finn's quest really is the peak of the first series for me.

Oh my god... I love the prompt I got: 45)WIFE FOR A WEEK by KELLY HUNTER Mills & Boon Modern Romance - Series Extra Wanted: wife for one week Stiletta needs to produce a wife for her Hong Kong business deal to go without a hitch, and Lilith is beautiful and intelligent enough to pull it off. She needs the money, and Stiletta swears she'll be the perfect lady. Rule No.1: displays of affection in public only Keeping their hands off each other in public turns out to be surprisingly easy. It’s keeping them off in private that becomes the problem. And that’s not the only very inconvenient complication…

I watched an Oakley moment and at first glance I thought they'd painted Hammerite on Clifford's lower jaw! XD it looked like it must've taken a couple of washes to get the stuff off. There again Hordriss does have a beard to cover it up I guess

Two new submissions from the Goblin Pen. The 4th & concluding Chapter of Everybody Has A Price https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10056163/4/Everybody-Has-A-Price and the first chapter of a new story feturing Mellisandre Mirror, Mirror On The Wall Show Her The Evil That Dwells Deep Inside https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11045629/1/Mirror-Mirror-On-The-Wall-Show-Her-The-Evil-That-Dwells-Deep-Inside

Hmm, all the above pix have vanished. Anyway, this one is still a joke, but it does raise a semi-serious point about TV in the 1980's. It probably wasn't for the best that this scene gave the impression that sexual harassment is 'just a laugh'. Untitled.jpg [image: Untitled.jpg]

To say "stuff goes down of a serious nature" is an understatement. This is a game changer and no mistake. As this what might possibly be the last time I voice Pickle, I've got to say this was an absolute blast to do.

Here's another one (that I just recorded): Knightmare Series 7 Episode 12 - Ross Thompson Yay, new episode commentary! I love these.

Some people are very aware of what antics I got up to back in my college days, and soon after I joined the KMDF. For those of you who are unaware, I experimented with "chromekey" and did a interview with myself as part of my final project for my BTEC In Media. And to be honest... It wasn't overly that good However I do (believe I) hold the title of being the first here who got hold of the Helmet Of Justice after the shows demise and it was an honour. But anyway to cut a long story short, I was digging though my artifacts just recently and found the two MiniDV tapes with all my college footage I recorded. I do believe it even has close ups and "walk rounds" of both helmets I borrowed from Tim Child, and now I'm eager to get them ripped down to commemorate 20 years since the show ended. Trouble is, I don't know where I can convert the tapes. Any help as to how I can accomplish this without forking out would be helpful. But if the worst comes, I'll have to resort to the paying plan. I do want to contribute to this place just for once

The private forum for Late Night with Lord Fear is up. If you're interested in writing, please contact me.

This weekend I had a stab at writing something for Late (K)night with Lord Fear. I ended up doing something totally inappropriate i.e. a ‘funny’ sketch with obscure KM references. As such, I abandoned the attempt half way through. However, I thought I’d post my short output here because…well, where else would it go? LISSARD Lordness! Good morning Lordness! How are you thiss damp and gloomy day? LORD FEAR All the worse for seeing and smelling you my minion of dubious parentage. My god, you’d think I’d be used to the stench by now. If Treguard ever decides to send another one of those blind bullocks into the dungeon I think I’ll just get you to go and give them a hug. Open the window on your way out. LISSARD Well if a new quesst was launched this very day I have no doubt that you would come up with a fiendisshly clever and gruessome way of ending it! LORD FEAR I honestly don’t know what disgusts me more Lissard, your sycophantic blathering or your breath. If it comes out of your mouth it makes me want to vomit. Why are you still here? LISSARD Well Lordness, I was jusst about to vissit the Café Fearo up on Level Two and wondered if you fanssied anything – an Ah Wocha maybe or perhaps a Grippacino? How about a simple Jerichano? LORD FEAR Well, well, has the servant finally learned how to serve? You’re normally about as useful as a goblin who’s lost his horn. Oh, oh wait a minute. I see. You want something! Alright, just spit it out – actually no spitting! God knows what half-digested foulness might fly out in an attempt to escape your rotting innards. LISSARD Ah there iss no fooling you masster! Well you sssee, I wass hoping to have the day off tomorrow. LORD FEAR The day off?! You haven’t done anything for twenty years! Why in the world would you want a day off – I assume it’s not for a dental appointment? LISSARD No Lordness, but I was hoping to have ssome time to leave the castle you ssee. To visit my mother. LORD FEAR You have a mother Lissard? LISSARD Everyone hass a mother massster. LORD FEAR Well I didn’t think you did. Surely a half-man, half snake abomination like your bad self was spawned by the misguided magic of a spectacularly insane sorcerer. LISSARD Ah, you jessst master. My mother carried me to term jussst as yourss did. My father however did not sstick around after he’d had his fun – the sssnake! LORD FEAR Hmm, I’m going to choose to believe you’re speaking metaphorically there Lissard. LISSARD Sshamed by her promissscuity my mother fled Atlantiss, abandoning me to fate until you ressscued me after the great flood and adopted me as your faithful sservant. LORD FEAR Yes, well we all make mistakes. LISSARD I have resseived word that mother is now living in a ssettlement on the outskirtsss of Dunkley wood, far away from the painful memoriesss of the ssea. As tomorrow is Mother’ss Day I would like to vissit her and give her thisss. [Lissard holds up a snake] LORD FEAR A python? Why of course, what every mother wants on their special day! LISSARD My mother is a woman of unusual tastess Lordness. LORD FEAR Yes, I’d rather not go there if you don’t mind. Very well – go and visit the mad old bat. A day of fresh air might be just what I need. LISSARD Oh thank you Lordness! I am forever in your debt! LORD FEAR Yes, well nothing has changed there! Now get lost tuna breath before I reconsider! [Lissard leaves] Hmm, Mother’s Day… [Lord Fear waves his hands over the pool of Veracity]

Still some way away I'm afraid. However, some of the code I write for AQ will be reusable