I hope, for all our sakes, we never see this.
Add accents as you see fit
[Majida stands alone in the antechamber]
Majida: Welcome watchers of illusion, to the castle of confusion. I’m very sorry watchers, but we’re having… staffing problems. Greybeard is unfortunately unavailable…
[There is a sudden noise that sounds like muffled shouting. Majida continues]
M:…but luckily you’ve got me!
[She grabs the staff and taps in to the ground]
M: Enter stranger!
[A male dungeoneer appears. Majida leaps back]
M: No, I don’t want a boy, send him back!
Dungeoneer: But-
[He vanishes, followed by some more muffed shouting. A new dungeoneer appears, a girl this time. The muffled shouting continues.]
M: Better. What is your name?
Dungeoneer: Ruby.
M: Very strange name, but that's typical of humans. Now call your advisors.
Ruby: Clara, Josh, Willow.
[The advisors appear. Josh looks confused.]
Josh: Can any of you hear someone –
M: I can't hear anything.
[The voice falls silent, like it’s been gagged. Majida picks up the quest items from a crumpled pile, almost as if they’d been thrown there during a struggle. She describes the items as she puts them on the dungeoneer.]
M: This is your Knapsack. You put food in it, so you don’t starve. This is the Eyeshield. It allows your friends to see the path ahead, which they’ll need to, as you’ll be wearing the…
[She stops. Her hands are empty. The Helmet of Justice is not there]
M: Oh silly me, I must have left it in… the cupboard.
[She slowly turns towards the cupboard. The shouting restarts, louder than ever. Majida suddenly turns away from it, a fixed smile on her face]
M: But you don’t need to worry about that because you’re going in without it.
R: But the rules say –
M: Forget about the rules, Treguard just makes them up anyway. Besides, it will make it much easier, yes? I always say it’s too difficult. Go now.
[She grabs Ruby and pushes her towards the dungeon entrance. But before she goes through, there’s a flash of red light and Hordriss appears, blocking the way]
Hordriss: What are you thinking, genie? A dungeoneer can’t go into the dungeon without the Helmet of Justice! Especially not after last time! Go get it at once!
[Majida looks from Hordriss to the cupboard to Hordriss again. She crosses her arms and pouts]
M: Shan’t.
H: Shan’t, what do you mean, shan’t? Some assistant you are! It’s in this cupboard isn’t it?
[He goes to open the cupboard]
M: No!
[The cupboard is open, and a very familiar Dungeon Master falls out, tied up like a Christmas present (not literally, I wouldn’t put you through that again). Majida smiles sheepishly]
M: Wow(!) What’s he doing in there?
[All eyes on her. She disappears back to her bottle]
