My Up Comeing Fan Fiction.
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Skarkill, I am delighted that you've decided to turn your hand to fanfic writing, and I've no doubt that you're enjoying it; but I think I'm going to wait until you've finished the story before I read through it myself and review it. Is that OK?
(By the way, when you've finished it, it's a good idea to sign up to http://www.fanfiction.net and post it there, as most of the Knightmare stories 'live' there. And/or you could submit the story to Illusion, to be included in the next website update.)
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I hope you don't mind one honest criticism, Skarkill. All good writers need criticism, and I only mean this to help make your story better.
I really think your trader needs to be a bit more his own person, if you're going to use him rather than just use Julius Scaramonger. While I understand it's difficult to make a trader unique without being silly (and Knightmare certainly had that problem) I look through the first bit of Chapter 2 there and lots of his lines really just are pretty much exactly the same things Julius said. Perhaps you might just spend a bit of time working on unique things that can be his lines, since you've made the brave step of using your own character (which is a great idea to do, rather than just recycling old ones!).
Anyway, I hope you see I mean well here.
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Just to reiterate what some other people said, I'm not sure about the choice of Elita as assistant. To be frank, I think Elita's funniest in smallish cameo-style doses- I really don't know if it'd work with her central like that, especially since I find it hard to imagine her working for *anyone *else as an assistant, without a supremely good reason. Even if Majida "picked" her, I would just imagine Elita would tell them both where to stick the job and the Reach Wand in particular. I just can't imagine Elita completely "selling out" like that, even if she did mellow somewhat over the series themselves.
Just my opinion.
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I apprechiate thoses comments.
As far as Elita gose well I like I said I needed some one who I could write for in the role of the assistant.
The Deal/Scaramonger problem is a bit more complex.
You see (as Role play forum members know) Edward Deal is one of my main character on The Role Play forum. In that he is a disstingctly different character from Julius and Bartram.
But he is such a evil, vendictive, sadistic & Psycotic character in it that I felt I needed to tone him down for the fan fic. The Edward Deal of my fan fic is just a toned down version of the Role play one.
Which unfortunatly dose make him resembal Julius.
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Oh, I don't think it matters horrendously if he resembles Julius, but looking through his encounter again I can count at least 3 or 4 of his lines that are lines Julius used. That's why I suggested sitting down and thinking of new and perhaps even better lines.
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I Have Deal slated for another apperence. It was going to be another tradeing scene But you are right he is becomeing a rip off of Julius. I have instead moved him in to a sub-plot that I will spring in the next chapter.
So Next time Deal apperser in the dungon its going to be as the smooth talking Killer of The Role Play Forum.
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Hehe, I'll definitely look forward to reading that bit!
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Since I've been so full of advice, I've decided I should try writing something too. Live in fear, indeed.
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cheers
Looking at your post count, I'd say you do write; but, if you mean that you intend to write a fanfic, then that is even more exciting. Take your time, and if you enjoy writing it, then there's a good chance that we'll enjoy reading it.
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Yes, lol, I did mean a fanfic. Need to read a few first, which I've been lazy with lately, just to see if anyone adopts vaguely the same style I'd use.
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Good luck GG, a veteran of your caliber should surely be able to write something that appeals to us!
That's very kind of you. I need to work on my general framework a bit first, since at the moment I really only have those fragments of anticipated scenes we often tend to start with.
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If I can be forgiven for blowing my own trumpet, on someone else's thread... I've posted an opening extract from my own upcoming fanfic on the Off-Topic Forum, at http://qwaz.proboards22.com/index.cgi?board=talk&action=display&num=1072374556, in case anyone wants to see 'where it's going'. I will hopefully get the whole story typed up over the next few weeks, if not a bit sooner.
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Guys,
Seeing as you have all written such excellent fan fictions I thought I would have a pitch and seeing if you liked my take on it. It has been a while since I watched some of the later series so if I get a couple of facts wrong be forgiving. It is based on the dungeon coming back into phase after 10 years but something happens differently and the dungeoneer ends up in an alternate universe/phase. It needs a title though if you guys have any idea.
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That is good news. I hope you enjoy the experience of fanfic writing.
Suggested titles:
Phase Shift (sounds a bit sci-fi though)
Stranger Entry
Lucid Knightmare (a play on 'lucid dreaming')
Sidestepped
Turn To Thirteen O'Clock
Walk Forwards
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