Knightmare Pointless
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Ross says Aniseed - Series 4. Let's see what that scores him...
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"Aniseed will take them off your trail" - Oakley. Well done, Ross - 4 points are added to your score.
Let's take a look at the whole board:
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That's the end of Round 2, so let's see how the scores stand:
ROSS
Answer 1 - 5
Answer 2 - 4
TOTAL - 9
BEN
Answer 1 - 4
Answer 2 - 2
TOTAL - 6
GEZ
Answer 1 - 6
Answer 2 - 7
TOTAL - 13
That means, of course, that we have to say goodbye to Gez - bad luck and thanks for playing! For Ross and Ben, the head-to-head awaits... and the first question is coming soon!
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Congratulations to Ross and Ben for making it through to the head-to-head. You two are about to battle it out to be the first ever Knightmare Pointless champion, and earn the chance to find a Pointless answer in the jackpot final and win an ultra-cool, genuine, official Knightmare badge!
ROUND 3 - HEAD-TO-HEAD
Whichever one of you wins the best of three questions will be our champion. Remember, I can only accept your first answer, so think carefully before you post.
We gave 8 people 100 seconds to name...
DUNGEONEERS WHO MET MERLIN ON LEVEL 3
So that's any dungeoneer who summoned Merlin and listened to him chatting at some point on the third level. Please give your answer in the form of: "Dungeoneer's First/Given Name (Series X)"
Ben, because you have scored slightly less in the game so far, you get to post your answer first. ** Ross**, you can post your answer as soon as Ben has given his - don't wait for me to say anything.
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Right - let's think about this. I don't think anyone got far enough to meet him in Series 1 (Richard almost did though!) and I don't think he met anyone on Level 3 in Series 4. Series 3 had just 3 Level 3-ers and Ross definitely didn't get far enough to meet Merlin, although I think Martn and Leo might have done. Series 2 I can't really remember the Level 3 dungeoneers so easily - obviously there are the winners Mark and Julian and then there's Chris who got killed by Medusa. I can't remember if there were any other Level 3 deaths in Series 2.
I'll avoid Mark because he's a winner, so it's really between Chris, Martin and Leo for me. I'm thinking Chris might be a good answer because lots of people forgot him in the last question but I'm not 100% sure he did meet Merlin. I'm going to say Martin (Series 3) and am hoping that it will at least score less than a winner.
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Ben says Julian (Series 2). Despite the fact that he didn't include the series in his answer like I very nicely asked him to, let's see what that scores him...
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Ross says (eventually) Martin (Series 3). Let's see what that scores him...
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It's a tie - how exciting! Let's take a look at the whole board:
Mark (Series 2) - 6
Julian (Series 2) - 5
Leo (Series 3) - 5
Martin (Series 3) - 5
Giles (Series 4) - 5
Chris (Series 2) - 2
I'm not surprised to see a tie on this question... and perhaps I was secretly hoping for one so that we'll be able to get in more questions! Chris was the brilliant answer that could have won it for someone and Mark was the killer answer that could have lost it for someone but other than that, there was literally nothing in it!
With no score on the board as yet, we move on to the next question. We gave 8 people 100 seconds to name...
KNIGHTMARE CHARACTERS BEGINNING WITH M
So that's any character who is commonly known by a name beginning with the letter M. At this point, I'm going to remind you of two important points:
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For the purposes of this, "character" means any role that's been confirmed as having been played by a credited Knightmare actor, except uncredited, unnamed individual creatures/monsters.
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The unbroadcast pilot episodes (from 1986/7) and Knightmare VR (from 2004) are not taken into account for any question.
Ross, you get to post your answer first this time. Ben, you can post your answer as soon as Ross has given his - don't wait for me to say anything.
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Oh no! I should have gone with Chris!
After much deliberation, I'm going to say Mr Grimwold
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Ross says Mr Grimwold. Let's see what that scores him...
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Mr Grimwold was not played by a credited Knightmare actor, and is therefore not going to be a correct answer for any Knightmare Pointless question that asks for a character.
Ben says Molly. Let's see what that scores him...
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I don't know why I bothered posting this helpful tip after the question because both players have completely ignored it:
For the purposes of this, "character" means any role that's been confirmed as having been played by a credited Knightmare actor...
I hope you're both feeling sheepish, guys. As I don't have an infinite stock of questions, I'd like you to have another go at this question. Ben, you go first this time, and Ross can post as soon as Ben's answer is posted.
Remember, we're looking for characters (ones played by credited Knightmare actors) beginning with M!
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I didn't ignore it - I just thought that it had been confirmed that Mr Grimwold was played by Bryan McNerney.
I'm going to say Marta.
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Ben says Maldame. Let's see what that scores him...
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Ross says Marta. Let's see what that scores him...
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Ross takes the lead - it's 1-0 to him! Let's take a look at the whole board:
Mellisandre - 7
Merlin - 6
Motley - 6
Mogdred - 5
Maldame - 4
Malice - 4
Morghanna - 4
Majida - 3
Marta - 3
Mistress Goody - 2
Mrs Grimwold - 2
Mace - 1
McGrew - 1
Mildread - 1
Who would've guessed that Mellisandre would've been the killer answer, or that Mildread would be right at the bottom? Random! Right then, on to the next question. We gave 8 people 100 seconds to name...
VOICE-ONLY KNIGHTMARE CHARACTERS
So that's any character (who has been confirmed as having been played by a credited Knightmare actor!) for whom the actor provided his or her voice only. Please bear in mind that if any part of the actor's body is visible (even behind a mask) then the answer will be wrong.
Ross, you get to post your answer first this time. Ben, you can post your answer as soon as Ross has given his.
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Ross says Owen. Let's see what that scores him...
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Ben says Mug. Let's see what that scores him...
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Neither Owen nor Mug was ever credited, of course, but the crucial difference here is that Owen has been confirmed as having been played by a credited Knightmare actor - Clifford Norgate - whereas Mug's voice actor has never been confirmed, although it has been speculated about.
So, Ross wins the head-to-head 2-0! Let's take a look at the whole board for that question:
Owen - 6
Smirkenorff - 6
Bhal-Shebah - 5
Brollachan - 4
Casper - 3
Dreadnort - 3
Pixel - 2
Bad luck there, Ben - anything in that table apart from Smirkenorff would have levelled the score at 1-1. Thanks for playing, and congratulations on becoming the first ever Knightmare Pointless runner-up!
As I am not going to be able to use the potential tiebreaker question in another game (thanks to the fact that most of my potential players have answered it already) let's take a quick look at that, just out of interest. We gave 8 people 100 seconds to name...
DUNGEONEERS WHO MET MERLIN ON LEVEL 2
And the answer board looks like this:
Mark (Series 2) - 6
Julian (Series 2) - 5
Martin (Series 3) - 5
Leo (Series 3) - 4
Chris (Series 3) - 4
Helen (Series 4) - 4
Vicky (Series 4) - 4
Simon (Series 1) - 3
Ross (Series 3) - 3
Julie (Series 3) - 3
Alistair (Series 4) - 3
Nicky (Series 4) - 3
Danny (Series 1) - 2
Neil (Series 2) - 2
Steven (Series 2) - 2
Cliff (Series 3) - 2
Richard (Series 1) - 1
Tony (Series 2) - 1
I'm sure Ross couldn't care less about that, however, as he is about to play the Knightmare Pointless jackpot final, and perhaps win himself a badge! Whatever happens, of course, Ross is the first ever Knightmare Pointless champion - others will no doubt follow, Ross, but that glory will always be yours!
The Knightmare Pointless jackpot final is coming soon...
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ROUND 4 - JACKPOT FINAL
As I only have two pointless answers at all, I am making both of them available to you, Ross, in this first ever Knightmare Pointless jackpot final. You are about to see two questions and I want you to submit two answers for each one.
If you stumble upon one of the two pointless answers (there is one for each question, obviously!) then you will win the Knightmare badge - if not, you will still be the champion and should feel extremely proud of yourself!
We gave 8 people 100 seconds to name...
KNIGHTMARE CHARACTERS BEGINNING WITH G
So that's any character commonly known by a name or title beginning with the letter G. Please submit two answers for this question that you think might be pointless.
We also gave 8 people 100 seconds to name...
FIRST NAMES SHARED BY AT LEAST 2 DUNGEONEERS
So that's any first name shared by two or more dungeoneers throughout Series 1-8. Please note - these must be the exact same form of the name (so Anthony/Tony would not count, for example) but it WILL count as long as the dungeoneer is referred to on-screen by the form of the name in question, even if they are also known by a shorter version. (For example, if two dungeoneers were called Robert and one was sometimes called Robbie and sometimes Robert on-screen, Robert WOULD be a correct answer!) Please submit two answers for this question that you think might be pointless.
Best of luck to you, Wossy, especially with that second question! When you are ready, please submit your four answers. If one of them is pointless, the badge is yours!
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Characters beginning with G - I can think of Gretel, Gwendoline, Gundrada, Greystagg, Golgarach, Granitas and Gumboil and Grimaldine. For one answer I'll say Gibbet and for the other one I think I'll take a punt with Gatekeeper.
For first names shared by at least 2 dungeoneers - this is a tougher one and I can think of Richard (S1 & 8 ), Martin (S2 & 3) and Ben (S5 & 6) but I'm going to give as my two answers Simon (S1 & 4) and Chris (S2 & 5). Chris from Series 2 seems to evaded peoples' memories on a couple of questions so far - so hopefully he will here too!
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I'm afraid I can't specifically remember all the times and places where uncredited roles have been confirmed (usually by contestants, or often by fan research) and I don't think I could ever come up with a definition of the term "Knightmare character" to make everyone happy. Sometimes, judgment calls just have to be made, so anyone who thinks my judgment is faulty should not at any point sign up for Knightmare Pointless.
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Rosey wondered if I was going to ask you "What would you do with a Knightmare badge?" in the style of Alexander Armstrong before doing this bit, but I thought the answer was obvious. Then again, there are lots of things you could do with a Knightmare badge - popping balloons, removing splinters, jabbing people...
Anyway, let's see whether our first Knightmare Pointless champion - the man of the moment, Ross Thompson - is also our first Knightmare Pointless jackpot winner. First we turn our attention to the question:
FIRST NAMES SHARED BY AT LEAST 2 DUNGEONEERS
Your first answer was Simon, which - as you say - featured as a dungeoneer first name in Series 1 and 4. There were also Simons in Series 3 and 7 - four in all! Let's see whether it's a pointless answer:
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It's not! Your second answer was Chris. Again, you named two of the four - Series 2 and 5 did indeed have Chrises, and so did Series 3 and 6. Is Chris a pointless answer?
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No! I think people remembered Simon and Chris because they were the only dungeoneer names that turned up a wopping four times! Let's take a look at the whole board for that question:
Chris - 5
Simon - 5
Ben - 4
Julie - 4
Helen - 3
Kelly - 3
Martin - 2
Nicola - 2
Richard - 2
Alex - 1
Daniel - 0
I had to put in all that guff about the non-existent Robert and Robbie because of Daniel and Danny. While Daniel from Series 8 is known exclusively as Daniel, Danny from Series 1 is called Daniel on a regular basis by his advisors. Therefore, there are two Daniels. The same is true of Nicola - the Nicola from Series 4 is also called Nicky! However, Jamie from Series 2 is not a James (to go with James from Series 3) because he is only ever called Jamie on-screen, so that could be his full name for all we know! The same is true for Anthony and Tony from Series 2.
If anyone is unhappy with that explanation, I'm afraid they are just going to have to live with it - lines have to be drawn somewhere, and I - as the host of this particular game - must draw them! Now, let's look at the second question:
KNIGHTMARE CHARACTERS BEGINNING WITH G
Your first answer was Gibbet. An uncredited character, of course, but confirmed many years ago as an alter-ego of credited Knightmare actor Alec Westwood. Let's see if Gibbet is pointless...
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Almost, but not quite! And so we come to your final answer - Gatekeeper. Is that a pointless answer?
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Yes! The Gatekeeper was more usually known (and always credited) as the Gatemaster, but as he did call himself the Gatekeeper in the final episode of Series 5, I can't very well tell you that that isn't his name! Hearty congratulations, Ross - you win the Knightmare badge, which I will give to you when I next see you! Let's take a look at the whole board for that question:
Grimaldine - 7
Gretel - 4
Greystagg - 4
Gumboil - 4
Gwendoline - 4
Golgarach - 3
Gundrada - 3
Giant - 2
Gibbet - 2
Goody - 2
Granitas - 2
Gatemaster - 0
And so ends the first ever game of Knightmare Pointless, but don't feel too sad because there will be more - at least one! Many, many thanks to Ross, Ben, Greg and Gez for playing, to everyone who answered the questions for answering, and massive kudos to Ross, our jackpot winner!
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YAY!!! CONGRATULATIONS ROSS!!!
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