Knightmare Audio Series: Series 1
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I'm glad you've been eagerly waiting for its release - Mediafire has been playing up. It's now up though - Episode 16 - the last in the series - at http://knightmareaudioseries.webs.com
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yay! i'll enjoy this one
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"It's a Womble!"
"It's not a Womble."
You won't believe how much I laughed upon hearing that
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This is my breakdown of scriptwriters for the Audio Series. Here are a few notes to bear in mind when digesting the data I have collated:
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The entire Audio Series was produced/edited (whichever you prefer) by Ross Thompson, with a few bits of "help" from Jake Collins (which Ross could undoubtedly have done without!) for Episodes 11-14.
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Scott's advisors (Episodes 12-14) were created by Gemma Dwarwood.
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Finn's quest (Episodes 15-16) was adapted by Jake Collins from a quest outline by Ross Thompson, incorporating some ideas (including the names and personalities of the whole team) from Gemma Dwarwood.
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Opening and closing music is not included in any Runtime.
EPISODE 1:
Total Runtime - 26:37
Jake Collins - 19:12 - 72%
Ross Thompson - 7:25 - 28%
EPISODE 2:
Total Runtime - 26:30
Jake Collins - 17:04 - 65%
Ross Thompson - 9:26 - 35%
EPISODE 3:
Total Runtime - 25:17
Jake Collins - 16:33 - 65%
Ross Thompson - 8:44 - 35%
EPISODE 4:
Total Runtime - 26:28
Jake Collins - 26:28 - 100%
EPISODE 5:
Total Runtime - 26:30
Rosey Collins - 19:43 - 75%
Jake Collins - 4:03 - 15%
Ross Thompson - 2:44 - 10%
EPISODE 6:
Total Runtime - 26:29
Jake Collins - 16:17 - 61%
Ross Thompson - 5:15 - 20%
Rosey Collins - 4:57 - 19%
EPISODE 7:
Total Runtime - 26:27
Jake Collins - 24:50 - 94%
Ross Thompson - 1:37 - 6%
EPISODE 8:
Total Runtime - 26:02
Ross Thompson - 22:55 - 88%
Jake Collins - 3:07 - 12%
EPISODE 9:
Total Runtime - 26:20
Jake Collins - 26:20 - 100%
EPISODE 10:
Total Runtime - 26:29
Ross Thompson - 15:20 - 58%
Jake Collins - 11:09 - 42%
EPISODE 11:
Total Runtime - 26:30
Jake Collins - 15:39 - 59%
Ross Thompson - 10:51 - 41%
EPISODE 12:
Total Runtime - 26:30
Jake Collins - 12:49 - 48%
Ross Thompson - 8:24 - 32%
Rosey Collins - 5:17 - 20%
EPISODE 13:
Total Runtime - 26:32
Jake Collins - 25:04 - 94%
Ross Thompson - 1:28 - 6%
EPISODE 14:
Total Runtime - 28:29
Jake Collins - 25:53 - 91%
Ross Thompson - 2:36 - 9%
EPISODE 15:
Total Runtime - 26:48
Jake Collins - 25:47 - 96%
Gemma Dwarwood - 1:01 - 4%
EPISODE 16:
Total Runtime - 27:51
Jake Collins - 27:51 - 100%
WHOLE SERIES:
Total Runtime - 425:29
Jake Collins - 298:06 - 70%
Ross Thompson - 105:45 - 23.8%
Rosey Collins - 29:57 - 6%
Gemma Dwarwood - 1:01 - 0.2%
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We've had a lot of fun making the series over the past 6 years, but what do I really think of it? Find out now in Jake's Throwback Reviews!
Episode: Series 1, Episode 1
Original Release Date: 12th July 2010
Throwback Review Date: 10th March 2016
Score: 1 out of 5 (not bad)
The Good: The main thing this episode has going for it is that it convinced me (and others, I'm sure) that the whole idea of a Knightmare Audio Series could be made to work, which I had never really believed before I heard the finished product. Aspects of Knightmare such as Treguard interacting with the Dungeon-bound characters, and having the teams answer riddles with characters such as Merlin and the wall monsters, were obviously going to translate well into audio.
This episode even has a few quotable lines that were able to reach something like their full potential, mainly from Rosey as Gretel. Additionally, I always thought that calling Merlin's steps with noises rather than actions for this series was a very good idea, and I still do. A particular treat in this episode is Gemma Dwarwood's frighteningly accurate horse impression!
The Bad: Like all pilot episodes (even in the world of professional radio and TV) it is a very long way from being perfect. The script is largely terrible. Some of the Treguard spiel near the beginning was made up off the top of my head, which taught me always to have everything written down first in future for this particular project.
Many of the voices are not quite there yet (my impression of Merlin keeps going too low, for example) and some of the pitching that Ross did on many of the lines is absolutely crazy and sounds pretty bad. The main example in this particular episode is that Gretel is slightly pitched down from the impression Rosey did of her – yes, Gretel! Treguard, of course, sounds quite awful, partly because I haven't at all got to grips with playing him yet and partly because he, too, has been pitched down. (As one comment on Youtube for a slightly later episode rather astutely puts it, Treguard sounds much too “mournful” in these early episodes.)
There are lots of other small niggles too, such as the fact that Granitas does not have his echo yet, and that having the advisors “rhubarb” to represent discussion sounds like utter rubbish. However, it was important to be able to identify all these issues and deal with them at various points in the future, which is a big part of the purpose of a pilot episode.
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Conclusion:** This episode is a clear demonstration that the format can work successfully, which is all anyone should really ask of it at this stage! Thankfully it's not quite as bad as I'm always expecting when I re-listen to it.
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We've had a lot of fun making the series over the past 6 years, but what do I really think of it? Find out now in Jake's Throwback Reviews!
Episode: Series 1, Episode 2
Original Release Date: 3rd August 2010
Throwback Review Date: 11th March 2016
Score: 2 out of 5 (nearly there)
The Good: I've always been a fan of Jacob Ward's teenaged voice as a very petulant Dylan. Andy Marshall demonstrates how to play an advisor in a fun and engaging way for those who have the vocal skills to do it. I still like the use of the DREAMS spell as a nice bit of book homage, and Merlin's associated dialogue (“Now it's time for me to return to my own dreams” etc) is good.
The McGrew scene still stands up quite well. I like the chessboard simple starter (even though there's at least one line too many of the team discussing it) as it's just the sort of thing that might have been used (but wasn't) on the real show.
The Bad: I've always said that the Audio Series is at its best when it manages to evoke the original Knightmare in some way, perhaps atmospherically or by successfully paying homage to a particular scene or team. By the same token, when the events of the Audio Series do not match up with what might happen on the real show and thus fail to evoke Knightmare in my mind, I can't help feeling a bit disappointed. The whole thing with Merlin giving one vital spell for one correct answer and a bonus, non-essential spell for a second correct answer therefore does not sit very well with me, as on Knightmare you either need a spell or you don't.
I don't like the pitching down on Hansel because it interferes with my comedy German voice. Treguard jumps to a wild conclusion about where the catacombite came from for no reason. The Mogdred scene has potential but the end result is not quite there. The background music on the opening poem is too loud.
Conclusion: This episode is definitely an improvement on the first, so it does its job!
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We've had a lot of fun making the series over the past 6 years, but what do I really think of it? Find out now in Jake's Throwback Reviews!
Episode: Series 1, Episode 3
Original Release Date: 11th September 2010
Throwback Review Date: 12th March 2016
Score: 1 out of 5 (not bad)
The Good: The background music on the opening poem is at a better volume. There's a coherent attempt to present Dylan as an overly anxious dunegoneer who doesn't trust his advisors. The voices of Hansel and Gretel are now uncorrupted by effects. Andy Marshall puts a great spin on “You've got a lovely singing voice” that I was not expecting, but it turns out to be very appropriate!
The Bad: This episode is rather short (which I don't think is necessarily a bad thing in itself) because we did not have enough material recorded to fill the time. Consequently there are several scenes of Rosey and me (as Daisy and Treguard) frantically trying to pad the episode with impromptu dwarf tunnels and bomb rooms, and I find that these stick out like sore thumbs.
This taught us the valuable lesson that the series should be recorded one whole quest at a time and then divided into episodes, rather than trying to guess how much material we would need for each episode and just recording that. (Yes, it's obvious really, but hindsight is twenty-twenty!)
Dylan's journey to the end of Level 1 seems a bit rushed to me. As for Level 2, the Hansel and Gretel scene has potential but the end result is not quite there, although I did smile at “Why are you speaking with that ridiculous accent?” I'm afraid! After Merlin, the episode limps towards its premature end with shameless filler and a few recycled lines.
Conclusion: I suppose we needed an episode like this before things could get very much better, so thankfully it happened quite early!
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We've had a lot of fun making the series over the past 6 years, but what do I really think of it? Find out now in Jake's Throwback Reviews!
Episode: Series 1, Episode 4
Original Release Date: 14th October 2010
Throwback Review Date: 13th March 2016
Score: 2 out of 5 (nearly there)
The Good: This is undoubtedly Greg Ford's best performance as Cedric, and it's good to hear the SHOVEL spell being used successfully in some version of Knightmare! My Merlin voice is finally just about right, and I like some of the stuff he says about Morghanna.
I still enjoying listening to Abdul's quest. It's quite a good first attempt to create an amusingly rubbish team, and I love the gorgeous voice of John Liu at the fore. The scene with Folly and the cards is well conceived and successfully pulled off.
The Bad: Dylan's 'clue room' is obviously shoehorned in and is a clear sign of improper planning. I dislike the deepening effect on Morgahnna's voice and I know that Rosey hates it, as it interferes with her interpretation of the character and in no way makes her sound more evil or threatening. (It sounds exactly like one of our aunts, incidentally.)
Dylan's death scene is not as effective a piece of homage to Ross's death from the real show as it might be with a few tweaks to the dialogue, which is quite annoying. Abdul's advisors don't have any individual characteristics. The door in the bomb room unlocks too early, as Abdul has not approached it yet.
Conclusion: Overall, it's nearly good. Undoubtedly it's the best episode so far, even though it's not quite good enough to earn a higher score than Episode 2 from me.
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We've had a lot of fun making the series over the past 6 years, but what do I really think of it? Find out now in Jake's Throwback Reviews!
Episode: Series 1, Episode 5
Original Release Date: 20th November 2010
Throwback Review Date: 14th March 2016
Score: 3 out of 5 (good)
The Good: I like Abdul's death scene. The fatal sound effect is the first one I ever found for the series and I think it works well.
Rosey taught us a valuable lesson with Mel's quest, namely how to give a team just the right amount of character. All four team members are written consistently and with humour, both individually and in their roles within the group, which can easily be imagined as having crossed over from their real lives.
Rosey also demonstrated the kind of character scenes we should be aiming for with her peek into the life of the Grimwold family. (I like the dog sound effects in that scene, which I also found!) Mel's laughably bad attempt to make friends with Cedric is totally on-point, thanks to Juliet Thompson.
The Bad: The one scene of Mel's quest that Rosey did not write seems stylistically out of place to me, and if you don't know which one it is then just listen for the scene in which Mel does not introduce herself (or fail to) in her usual way. (I don't think it's a bad scene as such; I just don't think it sits too well in this particular quest.)
There is an issue with interruptions – they sometimes aren't where they were supposed to be, which means that, at times, the interplay between Darren and the girls (including some of Treguard's associated dialogue) is not quite creating the feel that Rosey was going for.
Conclusion: This episode is a beacon of hope in the first half of the first series, and an important signpost to take the production in the right direction.
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We've had a lot of fun making the series over the past 6 years, but what do I really think of it? Find out now in Jake's Throwback Reviews!
Episode: Series 1, Episode 6
Original Release Date: 22nd December 2010
Throwback Review Date: 15th March 2016
Score: 3 out of 5 (good)
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The Good:** The quality of Mel's quest remains high to the end, building to a nice crescendo with Darren finally expressing his true feelings when things go to pot. I feel that Treguard's assessment of the girls as “foolish children” falls just the right side of the line of what works. I think Aden's Level 1 is fairly well conceived and pulled off.
The Bad: I wish to God I hadn't mentioned Hollyoaks in the opening poem. The trapdoor sound effect should have come in as Gretel was saying “ something's going” rather than just after she said “to”. The Lillith scene could have done with a few tweaks to the dialogue. McGrew goes slightly Welsh at times.
Conclusion: Undoubtedly it's not quite up to the standard of the previous episode, but I think it stands up surprisingly well.
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We've had a lot of fun making the series over the past 6 years, but what do I really think of it? Find out now in Jake's Throwback Reviews!
Episode: Series 1, Episode 7
Original Release Date: 19th January 2011
Throwback Review Date: 16th March 2016
Score: 2 out of 5 (nearly there)
The Good: My Treguard voice is getting there, and some of his dialogue is almost where I think it should be. I'm quite pleased with the Merlin and Lenny ENERGY cast sequence, which I seem to remember recording 'live' using both voices.
The debut of Hordriss still stands up rather well, although I could have injected a bit more affronted haughtiness into a couple of his lines. I like the Velda scene – her unexpected entrance works well and Gemma Dwarwood is on good form.
The Bad: Aden's Level 2 suffers from a lack of co-ordinated planning. The dark cave scene in particular is rather ill judged, because it's a last minute compromise between two differing approaches to the whole concept of the series.
I'm not sure if it's quite right to have the GHOST spell do something different from the GHOST spell on the real show – I think another name should have been chosen, on the whole. I still think the confrontation between McGrew and Cedric is a good idea, but the scene as it stands is not quite there.
It seems very strange now to have two and a half minutes of music and introduction before we get back into the action, and I think it was certainly the right decision to cut down the preamble at the start of each episode for the second series.
Conclusion: This episode has a lot of potential and should at least be up to the standard of the previous episode, but it's not quite there.
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We've had a lot of fun making the series over the past 6 years, but what do I really think of it? Find out now in Jake's Throwback Reviews!
Episode: Series 1, Episode 8
Original Release Date: 11th February 2011
Throwback Review Date: 17th March 2016
Score: 1 out of 5 (not bad)
The Good: This episode received quite a bit of fan praise for creating the kind of climactic scene for our first winning quest that Knightmare's own first winning quest deserved but missed out on, namely Gretel actually being present for her rescue at the end. It has also been applauded for presenting a wall monster death, something that the original show clearly always shied away from. I agree that these are both positive aspects of the episode.
I like the panicked way in which I cast the BLAST spell. I thought it was okay for Lenny to call Gretel “Milady” as he is obviously young and naïve, although I rejected any suggestion of Treguard calling Gretel “Madam” (as he does with Lillith) as this would have been extremely rude of him! Searching for Festus by listening for his growl is a nice spin on listening for Folly's laughter from the real show.
The Bad: I've always found this episode quite difficult to listen to overall. Aden never turns back round after Medusa's chamber, creating an image in my mind of him completing the rest of his quest while walking backwards. Clearly the wax seal on the scroll was magic as it needed to be melted rather than simply broken or sliced in the usual way, but this should have been explained to the team and the audience.
I'm still not quite convinced by Gretel's “sneaking up behind me” comment. We know that she fell down a trapdoor and while it's easy to envision Mogdred sneaking up behind her after she landed, I think it would've been better if she'd referenced the part we actually heard 'on-screen' – “I'll be sure to watch where I'm standing in future” sort of thing.
Pleasant and young as Luke Thompson's voice is, he is so obviously struggling to read out loud that I really wish I'd modelled the lines verbally, as I did with him for later episodes. Is it too obvious that Cordy's second dwarf tunnel is all me doing filler? I think it might be.
Some of the dialogue is over-embellished and/or unnatural-sounding in my opinion. This is exacerbated by the fact that I foolishly recorded most of the Treguard lines without having read the script beforehand, and was trying to come to terms with some bits that didn't strike the right note for me as I went along. This makes many of Treguard's lines sound terribly awkward and a bit stumbly.
Conclusion: I do like this episode more than Episodes 1 and 3, but for me its potential remains largely unrealised, rather like the previous episode.
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We've had a lot of fun making the series over the past 6 years, but what do I really think of it? Find out now in Jake's Throwback Reviews!
Episode: Series 1, Episode 9
Original Release Date: 7th March 2011
Throwback Review Date: 18th March 2016
Score: 3 out of 5 (good)
The Good: I think the opening speech from Treguard has more value than usual, as it's an in-character look back to the events of the previous episode rather than a generic welcome adapted from the real show.
Abby's team sounds (mostly) good; the fresh and pleasant voice of Ellie Marshall at the fore is very welcome. I like the Gumboil scene, as the interplay between Ellie and me is clearly brilliant. I think the confrontation between Hansel and Folly does its job pretty well.
The Bad: Hansel's departure is sudden and rather rushed; I may have been rather premature in my desperation to get rid of him! I was never completely happy with “Small One” as a form of address to a dungeoneer. A piece of Abby's dialogue contains a slight misconception about wax rubbings.
Conclusion: It's a solid episode and I enjoy listening to it.
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We've had a lot of fun making the series over the past 6 years, but what do I really think of it? Find out now in Jake's Throwback Reviews!
Episode: Series 1, Episode 10
Original Release Date: 4th April 2011
Throwback Review Date: 19th March 2016
Score: 2 out of 5 (nearly there)
The Good: The opening poem is rather fun in places and comes across quite well as a whole, I feel. “We'll look it up on Wikipedia when we get home” hits the right note, as does “Ah, Milton Keynes, a lovely part of the world!” in my opinion.
The extreme suitability of the voice of Becs Houghton-Berry as a young and naïve dungeoneer cannot be denied. Rosey's spin on the Australian advisor (with added Australianisms!) allows the idea to reach its potential.
The Bad: The trouble with Hordriss's 'bonus clue' is that it utterly nullifies the rest of the riddle, rather than just whittling down the remaining choices. “Resting on your laurel” has no real meaning as an expression; I think it's a shame that the final “s” got lost somewhere along the way.
Abby's death is not very well thought out, or easy to imagine happening on the real show, as it was a quick and lazy conclusion to a quest that had reached the end of its plan. A more convincing death scene would have lifted the episode quite a bit, I feel.
Selena's quest contains a few bits of 'dead air' where the mind's eye might be asked to fill in the gaps a bit too much during lengthy periods of intricate directing and/or unexplained sound effects. In a not unrelated point, canny listeners will quickly realise that Selena has been written to die before she gets to use her step clues as they are actions rather than sounds.
Some of the dialogue in Selena's quest is not to my taste, particularly in the Velda scene. The Gretel swimming scene is very weird in my opinion (not in a good way in this case) and she seems to have changed her mind about going back to Germany very quickly and without explanation.
Conclusion: I find this episode rather weak overall, but it's not quite as bad as the 'not bad' episodes so it just scrapes a score of 2 from me!
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We've had a lot of fun making the series over the past 6 years, but what do I really think of it? Find out now in Jake's Throwback Reviews!
Episode: Series 1, Episode 11
Original Release Date: 3rd May 2011
Throwback Review Date: 20th March 2016
Score: 2 out of 5 (nearly there)
The Good: “Someone got out the wrong side of the bed” – Ellie Marshall on good form there. I like Tom's quest quite a lot, not least because Andy Marshall always has something special to bring to a role. (Ellie and Andy are not related in any way, at least as far as I know, in case you were wondering!)
Again, Folly with the simple starter works very well. I like his dialogue in this scene, including his interplay with Treguard. The scene between Tom and Gumboil works particularly well and is the highlight of the episode, I feel.
The Bad: You can hear Ross's mum putting crockery away during the opening section. I was never sure about the effectiveness of the Spindizzy in audio, and as it appears here without any interesting dialogue or door choices to back it up, I don't think it really adds anything to the quest.
The situation with the Giant and the boulder could never have been realised on the real show, so it doesn't quite ring true in my mind's eye. The Giant also does something that annoys me immensely – saying “is” twice in a row! (“The problem with humans is, is that they make me sneeze.”)
Treguard should have said “neither/nor” instead of “neither/or” which indicates a lack of concentration on my part. I'd have preferred to hear Mogdred just say the old “play awhile” bit from the real show (or something a lot more like it than what he actually says) for Selena's death scene.
You can hear from Treguard's dwarf tunnel spiel how extremely bored I was by then of thinking of things to say for these rather pointless scenes. Not all the stars we can see from Earth are already dead, of course, as Granitas seems to imply. My faulty microphone is starting to spoil some lines.
Conclusion: Whether to give this episode 2 or 3 out of 5 is one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. I believe that parts of Tom's quest could sit very nicely in a 4 out of 5 episode, but other parts couldn't and as the episode as a whole seems to have garnered more bad points than good points from me, I've had to go for the lower mark of the two I was considering.
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We've had a lot of fun making the series over the past 6 years, but what do I really think of it? Find out now in Jake's Throwback Reviews!
Episode: Series 1, Episode 12
Original Release Date: 4th June 2011
Throwback Review Date: 21st March 2016
Score: 3 out of 5 (good)
The Good: I really like the sound of Scott's team. The pact format slots very well into the series and adds a nice bit of variety; the exchange with Hordriss may be a tiny bit slow but I like it a lot. Rosey has made us another excellent Grimwold family scene.
The Bad: I feel that the second Igneous riddle should have made more overt reference to the fact that a kelpie is a horse – as it stands, it could be referring to any animal water spirit. You can hear Lillith's washing machine in the background at the start of her appearance.
Conclusion: Hooray, we're very much back on track! This episode is definitely solid and promises even greater things to come...
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We've had a lot of fun making the series over the past 6 years, but what do I really think of it? Find out now in Jake's Throwback Reviews!
Episode: Series 1, Episode 13
Original Release Date: 3rd July 2011
Throwback Review Date: 22nd March 2016
Score: 4 out of 5 (very good)
The Good: As I've said before, I love the Knightmare atmosphere that's evoked by the passage of play during the first thirteen minutes where Scott doesn't meet any characters – it's just the four team members pitted against the Dungeon, with only an ambivalent Treguard to offer them help and reassurance.
I'm rather pleased with most of Treguard's dialogue in this one. The team members are all on good form and there's a compelling group dynamic coming through. Merlin's patter about the CHARM spell pleases me. There's a nice chunk of late Level 2 tension to enjoy during the final third of the episode.
The Bad: I should have put slightly different emphases on “just as with all spells” in the wellway room. My microphone problems have come to a head – many of my lines needed completely redoing, instead of filling in the bare minimum of gaps.
Conclusion: This episode is almost brilliant. With a few tweaks to the script and a few redone lines, I would have no hesitation in giving it full marks. (This will never happen, of course, as going back and messing around with existing pieces of artistic expression is deplorable and immoral!)
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