INTERACTIVE STORY
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"TREEGUAARRD!!" was the sound to greet the Dungeon Master and Lord Fear to Level Two. "How dare you just drop into my domain compltely unannounced!" the commanding female voice shouted.
"Oh no" groaned Treguard, "I thought the dungeon had freed me from her years ago" Treguard stood up and "looked" in the direction of the voice.
"I assume we should stay standing exactly where we are Lilleth?"
The Advisers looked at each other and mouthed "Lilleth?" in puzzlement.
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"Master, who's Lillith?" asked Pickle. Treguard, anxious not to cause more offence to the lady in question (knowing full well she could hear every word not only by him but by his advisors) told them.
"A most powerful lady," he said, "gracious with her guests on all occasions..."
"Don't you even think about it, Treguard!" snapped Lillith. Lord Fear took the advantage.
"Greetings, your Ladyship!" he crooned. "I have brought you a prisoner!"
"You what?!" exploaded Treguard, furious at this betrayal. Lillith lilted.
"Marvellous!" she breathed. "This meddlesome Dungeon Master has irritated me for the last time!"
"Me, too," muttered Fear.
"Bring him!" Lillith barked. Fear went towards Treguard, and promptly backed away when Treguard scowled at him.
"Oh, Dragon's Breath!" Lillith scoffed, "I'll do it myself!" and promptly snapped her fingers. In a flash, Treguard vanished and reappeared next to Lillith tied up.
"You have pleased me, stranger," gushed Lillith to Fear, "so I think I might let you pass," and gestured to the serpent's mouth.
"Thank you, my lady!" crooned Fear and with a series of slimey bows started to make his way to the exit.
"But maybe on second thoughts..." Lillith said wistfully and waved her hand. The causeway crumbled away, along with a very surprised and rather impressed Lord Fear.
"You evil old cow!" he screamed as he fell into the darkness.
"And now!" cried Lillith, turning to Treguard, "it is time for Lillith's revenge!"
Her hands turned into large hissing cobras that advanced on Treguard, who sat rooted to the spot, unable to move. The snakes were upon him, poised to bite.
"STOP!!!" came a deep booming voice. The snakes vanished, along with the rope bounding Treguard. Lillith spun round to confront this latest intruder, who stood on the small portion of causeway that remained.
"Who are you?" she screamed.
"I am Hordriss!" he replied grandly. "Reversi!" he boomed and Lord Fear (who was still plummeting at the time) reappeared - standing on the newly-replaced causeway.
"Right!" screamed Lillith, "it's time to throw out the rubbish!!!"
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Lillith gave a wave of her hand, and a shining, floating axe appeared just in front of her. Kully, Pickle and Majida started panicking, as Treguard and Fear wer trapped on the other side of the narrow pathway.
Escape seemed impossible.
Hordriss, however was not having any of it...
"Foul woman, I have had enough with this beginner's sorcery...SPELLCASTING - F,R,E,E,Z,E..."
Instantly, Lillith's figure was frozen on the other side, and the axe, no longer being fueled by Lillith's magic, faded to nothingness...
Treguard had a brief notion of what was ocurring - years of watching the events unfold in the comfort of the advisors room had given him enough experience to know when danger had been averted...
"What took you so long...?" Treguard commented dryly as Hordriss untied him. The sorcerer merely grunted as he untied the dungeon master and helped him to his feet.
Pickle and Majida looked to Kully, and they all decided that it be best if they left quickly...
They guide Treguard carefully to the door, and enter the next room of the seemingly size-less dungeons...
TBC
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On reflection I would like to retract my above statments under the name Malefact.
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Walking through the serpent's mouth cut into the rockface, Treguard and Fear emerged in a large cave, dimly lit by an unseen torch. In the centre stood two jesters, embroiled in a massive argument.
"How dare you!" cried Folly, "I am deeply insulted!"
"Aw, keep your bells on you daft brush," shouted Motley.
"What's going on?" demanded Treguard.
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[excellent Malefact, I was planning on doing this myself ]
Both jesters stopped in their tracks and looked towards Treguard.
"That stupid little "jester" over there" Motley said gesturing in Folly's direction, "says that I...am...an...amateur compared to him. He says that he is much better, and the original jester of the dungeon"
"Thats because I am!" exclaimed Folly, "I was the original comedy act in the dungeon"
"Ahh but the dungeon got rid of you and replaced you with me...what does that say....has been! It's obvious, the dungeon wanted a top class all round entertainer with finesse, such as my good self" Motley boasted
Treguard stood shaking his....helmet. Lord Fear started to intervene. Treguard heard his movement and said quietly
"no Fear, let these two sort this out for themselves" Fear glowered at Treguard briefly then lowered his arm.
"Fine!", said Folly, "You want insults? I challenge you to a duel of insults"
"Agreed!" said Motley, "and you, I mean the loser, will leave the dungeon"
"Easy peasy" retorted Folly. He looked towards Treguard and Lord Fear, "Looks like we have some judges here as well."
"Oh, and whats in it for us?" demanded Lord Fear
"The winner will help you through this level" said Motley, "although how the dungeon is moving between old and new realm at the moment, we'll probably all get lost anyway"
Treguard and Lord Fear grouchingly accepted to be the judges. Motley and Folly squared up to each other for the battle.
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[Ta, steveir! Well, it HAD to be done, didn't it?
What we need now is a confrontation between Motley and Sylvester Hands, Mellisandre and Marta, Cedric and Snapper-Jack, and Scarkill and Lissard; LOVELY!]
"You may go first!" cried Folly. Motley drew himself up to his full height.
"You are a slow, silly, stupid, slimy, sub-human, scummy son a sewage sloth!" cried Motley triumphantly. Folly gulped.
"Oooh, nasty!" exclaimed Treguard.
"Not bad at all," said Fear, impressed. "Maybe I'll have the winner as my own personal jester."
"Beat that!" said Motley. Folly wracked his brains to think of a suitable retort.
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"You are the foot licking, boar molesting, blasphemous surf of the Dungeons..."
"At least I don't wear makeup." Retorted Motley.
"Well you can tug on your bells all you like - they're not going to get any bigger..." smirked Folly.
Treguard and Lord Fear gasped at the first jester's words. Motley drew himself up to his full height and stood nose to forehead with Folly, an ugly scowl on his face.
"Oooooh you asked for it - cor BLIMEY you asked for it..."
Folly glared into the taller jester's eyes, daring him to say it.
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Motley exploaded.
"You mangey, crusty, pustulating, regurgitated, half putrified excuse for a week-old trodden-on dog sh...."
"Stop it!" barked Treguard. "This has gone quite far enough!"
The jesters backed down, but still regarded each other with looks of hate that Lord Fear really rather admired.
"You can BOTH help us through the level," Treguard said.
"Well, done, Master!" whispered Pickle into the viewer.
"Oh, you crabby old thing!" ranted Fear. "Couldn't you have let them carry on for a bit longer? It was starting to turn me on..."
"SILENCE!" shouted Treguard. Everyone hung their heads.
"Guide me out!" ordered Treguard. Kully shook herself.
"Turn a bit to your right," she said.
"Oh, belt up!" exclaimed Fear, "I'll do it!" and promptly took Treguard by the shoulders and made for the exit cut into the rockface, followed closely by Motley and Folly.
They emerged in a castle courtyard. Folly looked around totally perplexed. He didn't know this place existed. Motley pounced on that at once.
"I bet we're all glad to have your expertise on this place, Fol!" he cried.
"I won't tell you again," snapped Treguard. Motley shut up.
"Really, you two are acting like..."
"Master!" cried Pickle.
"What is it?"
"People are coming! I can sense them."
Sure enough, two people staggered in. One was tied up by a large rope. The other was dressed in a filthy brown smock. It was Sylvester Hands - and he had a prisoner.
"Now, don't make any noises," he snivelled, unaware of the people in the courtyard with him, "or I'll have to get the goblins. We're off to see Lord Fear, you know. He's ever so nice..."
"Hands!" barked Fear. He spun round to see Fear, Treguard, Motley and Folly all staring at him.
"Oooh! Your Lordships!" he cried. Then, his expression of surprise turned into one of confusion.
"What's 'ee doing here, your Poshness?" he asked.
"None of your business, Hands," said Fear acidly.
"Who's your prisoner, Sylvester?" asked Treguard.
"I'm Mellisandre!" cried the person in the rope.
"Let her go at once!" demanded Treguard.
"Oh, yeah?" said Hands nastily, and got out his catapult.
"Let her go, Hands," ordered Fear. Hands was confused.
"Let her go, your Royal Flush?" he asked softly.
"NOW!" screamed Fear. He wasn't taking any chances. The only way he could beat the ones responsible for stripping him of his powers was to muster an army, and that meant winning people over - not easily achieved by tieing them up.
Then, Treguard made a mistake.
"The sooner you get your powers back, the sooner you can get rid of this filthy creature," he whispered. Unfortunately, Hands overheard.
"You ain't got no powers?" Hands asked uneasily.
"Rubbish, man!" cried Fear, glaring at Treguard. Hands, however, was not fooled (for once in his life). He kept his catapult trained on them.
"This is getting a bit interesting, innit?" he sneered.
"You burk, Treguard," hissed Fear.
Hands had Treguard, Fear, Folly, Motley and Mellisandre cornered.
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[[Lord Fear joined Treguard? ...Lord Fear joined Treguard. This... is... genius.]]
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[Oh! Sorry - I didn't mean to plagiarise. I've been caught out - I haven't had a chance to read that one yet!]
Hands reached into his pocket and pulled out a small red stone that glowed so brightly it looked orange. He placed it in his catapult and targeted them.
"Who shall I do first, then?" he sneered. After a moment's thought, he had made his mind up.
"Bye-bye, your Lordships!" he cried and pulled the catapult back, ready to fire.
"Who gave him that damned thing?" hissed Treguard at Fear.
"I did, Treguard," spat Fear. They looked at each other. Fear had been drained of all his powers. Perhaps the principal was extended....
Hands fired.
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The catapult swung forwards, but got wrapped around itself, leaving the stone to fall to the floor. Hands swore loudly.
"Gimme one minute, yer Lordship..." He bent down to retrieve it, his fingers closing over its brightness before any of them could get there first...
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Mellisandre saw her chance. Still tied up, she lunged herself towards Hands with all her strength. Caught off guard, Hands fell to the ground. Mellisandre pinned on top of him. He punched her and she cried out and rolled to the side. Hands scrambled to his feet but Treguard had run over. He punched hands twice and he was laid out on the floor, moaning.
"Well done, Master!" cried Pickle, impressed. Everyone clapped.
"Quite the boxer, aren't we?" teased Fear. Treguard untied Mellisandre.
"Oh, thankyou, Dungeon Master," she gasped. Looking around, she was suddenly confused.
"What's going on?" she asked.
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"If that is the case" snapped Lord Fear, "then why have you been traipsing across half of the dungeon wearing the accursed thing?"
Treguard looked around as if he'd lost something.
"My good assistants were really looking forward to taking on the role of my advisors, I didn't want to disappoint them."
Lord Fear kicked the fallen Sylvester Hands, who rolled over and moaned loudly.
"And when, exactly, did you remove the helmet? You were certainly wearing it a moment ago, and I don't see it lying around here anywhere."
For a brief moment, Treguard looked uncertain. For another brief moment he looked puzzled, perplexed, and then confused, before finally settling on a look of plain bewilderment.
"I don't seem to remember."
Meanwhile, Pickle, Majida and Kully found themselves staring at where an image of the dungeon used to be.
[[The damn filter changed "My" and "assistants" into "I disagreeistants" because the stupid thing thought I was referring to my posterior, so I inserted a suitable adjective ]]
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[[The filter is a little extreme. I'm all for preventing bad language on the forum, but it's pretty easy for people to get around it anyway, and it only seems to catch legitimate words by mistake. Is it possible for it to be more lenient?
Don't want to take this off topic, though.]]
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