My Up Comeing Fan Fiction.
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Well here as promised is a snipet from Chapter 1. A Quest has just been ended by a Mire-Trog.
“Sorry girls” he said regarding the three advisors “but you should have taken Brother Mace’s advice Honesty is better then a Deal. But you failed to realise it, so now its time for you to depart.” He stood up and in the manner he had done it so many times before calmly called out.
“Spell casting. D….I….S….M….I….S….S.” The team faded from sight and Treguard bid them farewell through the magic mirror. “Oi Beardy that’s three teams of those human beings we have lost now. Old Skeleton head is having him self a killing.”
Treguard turned round to face his new assistant. Of all the people that Majida could have picked as a successor. He comes to the anti chamber ready to start the new season after ten long years and who dose he find waiting for him, with the news that she is his new assistant?
“Yes Elita I am well aware of the score.” He replied to the cavern elf who was sitting crossed legged on the bench that the team would usually sit on “And I’ll thank you not to refer to me as Beardy.” “OK, OK Treguard but this is getting ridicules I mean three teams in a row.” “Yes it is a bit disheartening I grant you but I have seen seasons were nobody wins.”
“So now what do we do?” “Well there is only one thing we can do miss Elita. Call another team in.” “I’ll do it” came the cry from Elita as she leapt across the floor she grabbed the staff and approached the door. “Enter Face Ache errr…. I mean Enter Stranger.”
The door opened and a lad of about 15 with short brown hair and brown eyes walked in Elita regarded him “I Was right the time.” “Elita.” Warned Treguard. “Greetings and who might you be young sir?"
“I am Stuart Cliff aged 15 from York.” Came the reply “ A Porky from Yorky.” Elita cried gleefully, Treguard just ignored this remark. “You’ll have advisors so call them now.” “Abbiegale, Gemmar & Richard.”
As Stuart said there names three children appeared on the bench. “Welcome. Who guides this dungeoneer?”
“Abbiegale Eastbrook from Carlisle.” The first girl replied she was about 16 with long light brown hair and a slightly tanned complexion with green eyes. She didn’t look nervous or afraid. A good sign Treguard thought he turned to the boy sitting beside her.
“Richard Eastbrook from Carlisle.” Brother and sister Treguard guest. Yes there was defiantly a resemblance in the faces. Richard also appeared calm but Treguard suspected he was one who took things at face value. Still he had common sense Treguard could tell it was writer all over his face. He turned to the last child.
And she was a child she was by far the youngest and smallest.
“Gemmar Banks from Preston.” She answered timidly. Oh dear thought Treguard she was not his ideal candidate for an advisor. Gemmar was 11 years old and was very nervous and panicky.
Treguard didn’t say anything but he thought that Gemmar might be the team’s weak link.
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The resons I used Elita as the new assistant is because I am good at writeing for that character.
Plus I didn't want to have to spend time introducing a new assistant, I've got enough of that just introducing new dungeon residents. Plus Elita is an instantly reconisable character.
(Could have been worse I could have used Fidjit.)
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An adjective that describes an action rather than a noun. They usually have the same form as the adjective with -ly added.
e.g. That's a loud frog/That frog croaks loudly.
What I'm complaining about, and this is actually a serious point, is that they're used too frequently (there's one!) in modern literature, especially fanfiction. And yes, that includes my own.
From reading your stories, Emii, I'd say you're better than most at avoiding the bad habit.
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What's an adverb?
Oh so I'm not the only one who doesn't know then! Anyway HStorm why don't you like too many words ending in ly? How can you avoid it? Also you have put "this is actually a serious point" is actually an adverb? couldn't you have put "this in an actual serious point" instead though or does that not sound right?
A curious question is are you an English teacher/tutor?
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Sigh.
I'm not saying you shouldn't use them at all, I'm just saying fanfic writers use them too often. In particular, I feel very annoyed with myself when I use them after a track of speech. Every so often is fine, but I always catch myself using them after almost every bit of speech, "he said guiltily".
They slow stories down and are often redundant, as the words of the dialogue itself will tell the reader what the tone is. It's only when the speech doesn't let the reader know that you should use them.
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They slow stories down and are often redundant, as the words of the dialogue itself will tell the reader what the tone is. It's only when the speech doesn't let the reader know that you should use them.
Yep, I think that's the crucial point. They're meant to give the reader more of a sense of tone and texture and draw them into the piece, but if used too much can in fact do the opposite. If you're reading something and noticing the adverbs rather than immersing yourself in the story, it's perhaps the fault of the author. Having said that, I suppose the same is true of all overly-repeated forms.
Language is perhaps our greatest tool, but once the reader starts to notice it rather than read, it's not doing its intended job, in my personal opinion.
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(Could have been worse I could have used Fidjit.)
That's below the belt! You shouldn't suggest such a thing in polite company!
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