Musical Parody

Based on Valerie by Steve Winwood Original video Wooden, standing there With their hands in your care I can't help remember Just how you held them It's the device That they despise So old, you were used In most quests of Series 4 But now you're abused People say you're a bore Now you do them no harm Locking no heads or arms Pillory, on TV On TV, pillory So unseemly You constrain them, they cannot flee Fidjit, was in once And Ridolfo was too Motley went in twice Gundrada as well Her hands hung there Here on Knightmare Each time dungeoneers Gave help to set them free Questing, beating fears Showing their chivalry Oh but here is the shock It is not called the stocks! Pillory, on TV On TV, pillory So unseemly You constrain them, they cannot flee...

Spider Barry, Spider Barry, Cocky dungeoneer, a real Flash Harry, Does he do well, Does he win, Yes of course, and the Shield he doth carry, Look out, it's Spider Barry!!!!

Here's a short one based on the first verse of Addicted to Base, by Puretone: I've got three good friends and they're guiding me today, Through the Corridor of Blades and they're all in disarray, They're all shouting so loudly I can't make out what they say, It really doesn't look like we will win today. I can only see below, The floor just keeps on moving at a rate that seems so slow, And Treguard knows what I know, And he knows exactly where this quest will go. My Life Force is running low, it's been a while since I was fed, Then I hear something coming and it's heading for my legs, The blade passes through me and in a moment I am dead, A word about my weakness, I've got this stupid helmet on my head.

You may be familiar with Lazytown, the hideously cheery kids' show from Iceland, written, directed, created by and starring Magnus Scheving? Well'', Im in a bad mood, and so I've decided to give it a bit of a macabre 'Lord Fear' twist... Flim Flam, zippazappadamn, funny words I sing when I am zapping, Flim Flam, zippyisaswine, Silly words that mean somebody's dead, Get on up, it's time to fry, yeah, It's so much fun blowing kids of their feet, So I go Zap! Zap! Kill the kids, Burn them all and squash their heads like pimples Bowm! Down! In the ground, Killing kids is what it's all about.

This one is dedicated to Skarkill (the forum member, not the character). It's based on the Ritchie Valens song La Bamba, also a hit for Los Lobos. Official audio An an an antechamber An an an antechamber Is necessary for friends of the quester For the friends of the quester they sit in here The Helmet the Helmet Oh the Helmet the Helmet for dungeoneer For dungeoneer For dungeoneer He no see where he going He no see where he going, so help him out So help him out So help him out Antechamber Antechamber Antechamber Ah...

http://www.knightmare.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=46&t=4648: Yo this is a story all about how Our lives got withturned upside down After our quest went awry when we all dared To apply to be contestants on a show called Knightmare. Sucks doesn't it? The idea doesn't; it's just a case of making it work. Like these guys did: Yo! This is a story all about how, some guys from York had their chances turned upside down! They whistled for Motley and when he came near, the mine cart said fresh and had dice in the mirror! If anything they thought that this ride was free, but they thought na forget it: go on to level three! I have often thought Knightmare would have been a better series if Treguard had rapped a bit more. At the beginning. Like the Fresh Prince. In a spinning chair. Tim Child. I speak for the whole Knightmare community. Okay, here's my effort. It's Treguard reviewing the Quest of Series 3 Team 10 ("Julie and the Goblins", of course), pretty much in the same format as the Fresh Prince bit. (I can't believe I checked up on the Fresh Prince words on Google. My most embarrassing search ever is now "Fresh Prince 'This is a story all about how'".) Imagine Hugo on aforementioned spinning chair if it helps blot out the awful words. *Now this is a story all about why Julie from Leicester was doomed to die. I'll just recap a minute, don't tell me to talk faster Because I'm Treguard Dunshelm, the funky Dungeon Master. Back in Level One on a quest for the sword Got questioned by Brangwen and two good truths scored. Sidesteppin', walkin' forward, turnin' right, stop And all laughing loud at Amanda's starry top. Got life force damaged on the wellway by a ghoulie But it was Amanda's horrid outfit that really frightened Julie. Got wrong one little riddle and missed out on magic So they were doomed to a death both hilarious and tragic. They went on through the level and escaped Mogdred's minions Then into a long room where they had some strange opinions. In the corridor nasty things then paid a visit But instead of escaping they shouted out "Who is it?". Got surrounded by goblins, it was lookin' real unpleasant But they just tried to offer the evil creeps a present. So as the goblins started to stab and thump her I said "Ooh, that is nasty" but I meant Amanda's jumper.* Onto my latest offerings. First, Merlin sings about what he was up to during certain Series 4 quests. Based on Living in a Box by none other than Living in a Box. Official music video Woke up this morning Closed in round my feet Helen's questing She shows compassion As I open my eyes I was testing I've found a way to get Many dungeoneers' aid Let Gundrada try it too And the maid Am I sitting in the stocks Am I sitting in a set of stocks Am I sitting in the stocks Am I sitting in a set of stocks Am I sitting in the stocks Life goes in circles Around and around Circulating Seven quests later I'm asking Giles for help With escaping I've found a way to get Many dungeoneers' aid Let Gundrada try it too And that maid Am I sitting in the stocks Am I sitting in a set of stocks Am I sitting in the stocks Am I sitting in a set of stocks Am I sitting in the stocks... Second, a song about the final parts of the winning quest of Series 6. Based on Walk the Dinosaur by Was (Not Was). Official audio Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom [ x 6] It was a day like this back in 1992 Entered a spider's lair, picked up an astrolabe to go The captain he was grateful, he wanted to thank me He summoned up the wind, and I got to Level Three And walked the Mines of Gore, thanks, Captain Nemanor Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the Mines of Gore [x 4] Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom [x 2] I went into a cave, conjured Hordriss with a TRICK He had to be my slave, and then he helped me out quick That day I had a sorcerer right there at my behest We sent him back, I stayed awake and got on with the quest And walked the Mines of Gore, I walked the Mines of Gore Open the door, get on the floor Everybody walk the Mines of Gore [x 4] A villain on a ledge, smug enough to be Lord Fear A flying splashing noise sweeter than I'll ever hear I knew I had to take the crown, and linger there no more Suddenly a crucial dash down a dwarvish corridor I left the Mines of Gore, I left the Mines of Gore Open the door, get on the floor Everybody leave the Mines of Gore [ x 4] Boom boom acka-lacka lacka boom Boom boom acka-lacka boom boom...

Thanks for the compliment. I'm glad you like it. The title for this next one came to me quite a while before the parody itself. Official music video Put on the Helm and bring your friends It's fun to quest and to pretend I think you should pick up some goods And make your way into the woods Come on, come on, come on, game on Come on, come on, come on, game on Come on, come on, come on, game on Come on, come on, come on In the forest, there's a spirit Green and floaty, do you hear it? Is it friendly? Should you fear it? It's a pooka, are you near it? Not a haunting But it's daunting It's a sprite there And it might scare Yay Hey Yay I get to watch while you quest And for this gift I feel blessed The little team has always been And always will until the end Come on, come on, come on, game on Come on, come on, come on, game on Come on, come on, come on, game on Come on, come on, come on In the ruins, there's a spirit Green and floaty, do you hear it? Is it friendly? Should you fear it? It's a pooka, are you near it? Not a haunting But it's daunting It's a sprite there And it might scare Yay Hey Yay And one team found a pooka, Puck They learned his name, he brought them luck But pookas now, they're hard to find Oh well, whatever, nevermind Come on, come on, come on, game on Come on, come on, come on, game on Come on, come on, come on, game on Come on, come on, come on In the Dungeon, there's a spirit Green and floaty, do you hear it? Is it friendly? Should you fear it? It's a pooka, are you near it? Not a haunting But it's daunting It's a sprite there And it might scare It's on Knightmare It's on Knightmare It's on Knightmare It's on Knightmare It's on Knightmare It's on Knightmare It's on Knightmare It's on Knightmare It's on Knightmare! [this used to be an animated pooka GIF]

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ebernezer good Parody. Pure Genius! Can imagine Sylvester Hands singing that at a Japanese Karaoke with the Samurai sharpening his blade at the back of the audience

The following is based on As Time Goes By from that famous film, Drassablanca. Official audio You must remember this DISMISS is still DISMISS It's Treguard saying bye The detrimental things apply As blades go by And Series 4 Team 2 The first ones to go through Not knowing that they'd die But danger's what the Dungeon brings As blades go by Blades in the corridor Never out of date Screams of advisors Team 2 Series 8 Watchers look on, directions come too late Then Treguard says goodbye It really can get gory The game of luck and glory A case of do or die The Watchers always welcome Knightmare As blades go by* [*Series 8 Short Cuts not included.] Here come the thoughts of an advisor who is determined that his team won't fall foul of the Corridor of Blades - or any other obstacle. Based on Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now by Starship. Music video Lookin' in your eyes I think about the prize This realm that we've found is too good just to watch Want us to be right there, want to be on Knightmare Pursuing a quest that I know we won't botch Let 'em say we're crazy, I don't care about that Put the Helm on your head, matey, don't ever turn back Let the world around us just fall apart Matey, we can make it if we're heart-to-heart And we can win this game together Standing strong forever Nothing's gonna chop us now And if the Causeway starts to crumble We won't take a tumble Nothing's gonna drop us, nothing's gonna chop us now, whoa no I'm so glad to guide you, I'm not gonna lose you Whatever it takes, I will give help to you Take you to the good guys, see you past the bad guys Whatever it takes is what we're gonna do Let 'em say we're crazy, what do they know? Hold on to the eye shield, matey, don't ever let go Let the world around us just fall apart Matey, we can make it if we're heart-to-heart And we can win this game together Standing strong forever Nothing's gonna chop us now And if the wall becomes a blocker It won't be a shocker Nothing's gonna block us, nothing's gonna chop us... [Autumn Of '89 / You Don't Have To Slay A Goblin, originally posted Monday 15 January 2007, 18:40] This song parody is about Ross' quest in Series 3. Based on Summer of 69 by Bryan Adams. Official music video here. I got my first real helmet Hoped to wear it for some time Treguard put it on my head It was the autumn of '89 Me and some guys from school Had a team and we tried real hard Gavin Twigg, Fu Wang and Sharsad I said, "ya know, we're gonna get far" Oh when I look back now That autumn seemed to last forever And if I had the choice Yeah, I'd always wanna be there Those were the quest days of my life Ain't no use in complainin' While the Greater Game is played Rolled a die, entered a portal And then I met the maid Standin' on a trapdoor floor She told me that I'd won her favour Oh and when she fell right down I wondered if I had to save 'er Those were the quest days of my life Back in the autumn of '89 Man we were doin' well We were clever questors We knew when to dispel I guess nothin' can last forever, forever, no And then the times got harder Met Morghanna and her axe was strong Sometimes when I'm watching my Knightmares I think of Melly, wonder what went wrong Standin' on a trapdoor floor She told me that I'd won her favour Oh and when she fell right down I wondered if I had to save 'er Those were the quest days of my life Back in the autumn of '89 Here is this thread's [as was] second parody of Dusty Springfield's You Don't Have To Say You Love Me. Lord Fear is explaining what he expects of Lissard. Official audio When I said I needed you Didn't know you'd look like this You are a slimy seneschal And my, you stink of fish Don't you see that now you're here In the employ of Lord Fear That you have to follow me And grant my every wish You don't have to slay a goblin Just be mean to Hands You don't have to stay forever Two years would be grand Believe me, believe me I can't help but loathe you Don't deceive me Or Hands will tie you down Here in my Pool of Veracity Misbehave and I will see So obey my orders and Of course suck up to me You don't have to slay a goblin Just be mean to Hands You don't have to stay forever Two years would be grand Believe me, believe me...

A Lordi song now. The first Lordi song too. At least as far as I know. All the victims stand in line Waiting for my Frightknight End the new quest with a sacrifice Throwing out a fireball I will kill them all at once I'll break your legs I'll break your legs for good I'll beat you with a lute Who's the Baddy, Say, who's the Baddy? Who'll punch you in your face? Who's the Baddy, Bitch, who's the Baddy? Surrender, say my name Who's the Baddy? Got a battle axe and FREEZE spells Get ready for the Dreadnaut I'm really gonna give you Hell Throwing out a fireball I will kill them all at once I'll break your legs I'll break your legs for good I'll beat you with a lute Who's the Baddy, Say, who's the Baddy? Who'll punch you in your face? Who's the Baddy, Bitch, who's the Baddy? Surrender, say my name Who's the Baddy? Get down, get down, Lay down, lay down, Stay down, stay down, for Baddy Oooh! Oooh! Who's the Baddy, Say, who's the Baddy? Who's the Baddy, Girl, who's the Baddy? Who's the Baddy, Bitch, who's the Baddy? Who keeps you in line? Who's the Baddy, Say, who's the Baddy? Who's the Baddy, Girl, who's the Baddy? Who's the Baddy, Bitch, who's the Baddy? Who keeps you in line? (instrumental break) Who's the Baddy, Say, who's the Baddy? Who'll punch you in your face? Who's the Baddy, Bitch, who's the Baddy? Surrender, say my name Who's the Baddy? Who's the Baddy, Say, who's the Baddy? Who'll punch you in your face? Who's the Baddy, Bitch, who's the Baddy? Surrender, say my name Who's the Baddy?

In the Style of Casper the Friendly Ghost Casper the friendly key The Friendliest key you know Though HStorm might burn him on sight The Dungeoneers love him so. Casper the Friendly Key He loves to solve puzzles mean He'll talk and guide, solve puzzels all day The Friendliest key you've seen He will always say "put me down" but is really glad to meet ya Wherever he gets taken he is kind to every creature HStorm don't understand why Dungeoneers take the key But Dungeoneers all know he loves them so, Capser the friendly key

Well-produced. It's good to have a new contributor to this thread. Malice and Hordriss sing about calling name procedure. Based on Blondie's 'Call Me' Lyrics: http://homepage.ntlworld.com/gary.hart/lyricsb/blondie.html Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StKVS0eI85I Welcome to my chamber, young one Can we strike a deal? Say that you will help me, young one And you'll get a shield While you seek a gem for me Keep this in your memory Call me (Merris), do not mime Call me loudly, clearly and three times Call me (call me), my child You can call me while the bells don't chime Call me Speak to one with adulation Honour one with love Shower one with compliments One never gets enough So that we may spread one's fame Know you now one's calling name Call one (call one) with tact Call one firmly, three times, "Malefact" Call one (call one) in that way For one does not shirk an honoured pact Call one Do-oo-oo-oo-oo, you speak more languages than one? Ooo-oo-oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo, chiamami, chiamami Ooo-oo-oo-oo-oo, appelle-moi mon enfant, appelle-moi Anytime, anyplace, anywhere you may be Though I rather expect it will be Level Three Call me (call me), do not mime Call me loudly, clearly and three times Call me (call me) for my book Or some other trinket others took Call me (call me) into hell And I'll furnish you with magic spells Call me (call one), call me, for a deal's a deal and that's no lie Call one (call one), do not mime Call one loudly, clearly and three times Call one (call one) Oh, call one, oo-hoo-hah Call one (call me), do not mime Call me loudly, clearly and three times... Based on: Rock the Casbah by The Clash Original lyrics can be found at http://lyriki.com/index.php?title=The_Clash:Rock_The_Casbah Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJ9r8LMU9bQ The untold story of one of Knightmare's most maligned characters. Said Merlin to Treguard "You have to take a gift from me To enter your castle now You must use my talking key" The wizard donned his walking boots He went a-walkin' to the town The key he found abandoned In a dunghill upside-down The chief don't like it Lockin' and Casper Locks and Casper The chief don't like it Lockin' and Casper Locks and Casper By order of the wizard The key must stay in use When Treguard tried to drop it It assailed him with abuse But a sorcerer he summoned for an anti-Casper spell The local friendly blacksmith made a fire hot as hell As soon as old Merlin's back was turned The key began to burn The chief don't like it Lockin' and Casper Locks and Casper The chief don't like it Lockin' and Casper Locks and Casper Now in the Opposition Oh, there was a Lord called Fear He thought it sounded cool This speaking key idea So he cut his own Casper Then he realised his mistake It took half a minute For that Casper to break The chief don't like it Lockin' and Casper Locks and Casper The chief don't like it Lockin' and Casper Locks and Casper The wizard read his magic books It seemed his nature had turned fay For he made a thousand Caspers and Named it 'Casper Day' As soon as the wizard had finished every key The Dungeon Master took half, and melted them with glee The other half were taken in Opposition raids And turned into blades The chief don't like it Lockin' and Casper Locks and Casper The chief don't like it Lockin' and Casper Locks and Casper...

A Breakout of the opposition at the start of Series 5 singing a musical (Sang in the style of Springtime for Hitler - The Producers) [Opposition] Opposition was having trouble What a sad sad story Needed a new leader To restore the Crown of Glory Where oh where was he? Where could that evil be? We looked around and then they found the man for you and me [Skarkill] And Now it's.... [Opposition] Springtime for Lord Fear's Opposition Winteria is on a mission! We're marching to a faster pace Look Out, we've captured Brother Mace! Springtime for Lord Fear's Opposition Mount Fear can rule once more Springtime for Lord Fear's Opposition Watch Out Treguard, you've become a bore! Springtime for Lord Fear's Opposition [Opposition] Look, it's springtime [Skarkill] Winter for Scaramonger [Opposition] Springtime for Lord Fear's Opposition [Opposition] Springtime! Springtime! Springtime! Springtime! Springtime! Springtime! Springtime! Springtime! [Skarkill] Come on opposition go into your dance! [Sylverster Hands] I woz born in Ingerland und that iz why they call me hands [Aesandra] Don't be stupid, be a smarty Join the Opposition party [Goblin #1] Lord Fear is coming, Lord Fear is coming, Lord Fear is coming! [Sylvester Hands] Hail My lord [Aesandra] Hail My Lord [Skarkill] Hail My lord Springtime for Lord Fear's Opposition [Opposition] Hail My Lord [Lord Fear] Hail myself Hail to me I'm the Lord Who's Really Mean! Hail Myself Bow your Heads for Dungeoneers Are Forseen Deads! Everything I do, I do to Win! [Opposition] Yes You do! [Lord Fear] If your looking for evil, here is every Sin! Hail myself Raise your beer [Opposition] Aaayyeee!! [Lord Fear] Every Opposition member stand and cheer! [Opposition] Horrayy! Every Happy Opposition [Lord Fear] Hail myself! [Opposition] Every Happy Opposition.... [Lord Fear] ...stand and cheer! [Goblins] The Lord is causing a Knightmare! He's got those Dungeoneers on the run Down to tourturing their Mum! The Lord is causing a Knigtmare! They can't say "no" to his devils They're freaking out in foreign levels He's got the whole dungeon including Nevelles (Couldn't think of a 3rd word to rhyme) The Lord is causing a Knightmare! [Lord Fear] I was just a paper hanger No one was more bored Got a phone call from Mogdred He told me I was a Lord Opposition was blue What, oh, what to do? Hitched up my pants and had a dance Now Opposition smiling through! But it wasn't always so easy... It was 1987. Mogdred was working the Big Dungeon and I.... I was playing the lounge. And then I got my big break. Someone mastered the dungeon. And would you believe it? They made me Goblin Master. Goblin Master! It ain't no mystery If it's politics or History the thing you gotta know is Everything is show biz Hail myself Watch my Show I'm the Leader Dontcha now We are crossing boarders the new Dungeon order is here Make a great big smile Everyone say hail to me Wonderful me! And now it's........ [Cut to BBC] Monty Python's Flying Circus.......

In a reversal of the song Hazard by Richard Marx (music video here), the singer protests that he is responsible for a disappearance... I first met up with Lissard before Series Seven Even then the goblin gangs said with prejudiced tuts "You'll hate his guts" Over the years as I got to know Lissard Made sure I took a look beyond the rumours and the breath But still I wished him death We used to walk along the sewers He loved to eat the cleaner fish We used to walk along the sewers I'd wish him gone, oh, how I'd wish No one understood how I hated Lissard No one cared despite the night we went out walking alone And he never came home No men with wands came knocking next morning No one cared enough to be pointing fingers right at me Why could they not see? I swear I pushed him in the sewers I swear he isn't safe and sound He won't have swum back to Atlantis Because his hands and feet were bound I think about my life gone by And how it's done me wrong But there's relief for me this time Now that that tuna breath's gone, long gone I swear I pushed him in the sewers I swear he isn't safe and sound He won't have swum back to Atlantis Because his hands and feet were bound [The following is amalgamated from a post made on Sunday 24 September 2006, 16:40, to negate the double posting.] This parody is about Martin's team from Series 3, who quested for the Cup and were stopped by Morghanna in Level 3. Based on Who Are You? by The Who (a.k.a. the CSI theme song). Official video Ooh nasty Ooh ooh, ooh ooh Ooh nasty Ooh ooh, ooh ooh Ooh nasty Ooh ooh, ooh ooh Ooh nasty Ooh ooh, ooh ooh I walked in through a Dungeon doorway A wizard knew my name He said, "You can go sleep at home tonight If the quest object you can reclaim" I staggered on through the underground And the helmet sat on my head I remember takin' sidesteps around And keepin' Life Force fed Ooh nasty Ooh ooh, ooh ooh (What a pity, never mind) Ooh nasty Ooh ooh, ooh ooh [Repeated several times] I took a mine cart down the track Right down to Level Three I stood and listened to the guiding words Of Darren, Jamie, Lee I stepped forth and I sidestepped And looked back on my busy day So many hours on the blue screen How I hope that we can win our way Ooh nasty Ooh ooh, ooh ooh (What a pity, never mind) Ooh nasty Ooh ooh, ooh ooh [Repeated several times] [Repeated several more times] I know there's a place I walked Where Owen gave no spell I'd collected up the broken Cup But then Morghanna gave me hell My head burned like a fireplace The end was within reach But I no longer am a dungeoneer now As old Treguard makes his speech Ooh nasty Ooh ooh, ooh ooh (What a pity, never mind) Ooh nasty Ooh ooh, ooh ooh [Repeated several times]

Thanks. I hear that there's a team on a new quest for the Cup. So here's a parody of a song for the occasion. The song is of course Three Lions (Football's Coming Home). [Sound clips of pessimistic 'commentary' from Knightmare, e.g. Treguard discussing a losing team; in particular, soundbites which seem football-related, like Treguard telling Simon's team in S4 that manoeuvring wasn't their strong point, or Lord Fear saying "two-nil I think" when Team 2 of S7 dies.] It's coming home It's coming home It's coming Knightmare's coming home It's coming home It's coming home It's coming Knightmare's coming home It's coming home It's coming home It's coming Knightmare's coming home... Everyone seems to know the gore They've seen it all before They just know, they're so sure That Knightmare won't come back on TV Won't be on DVD I mean 'out legally' But I remember Three levels in the game Hugo Myatt staring Fridays aren't the same Never stopped me caring So many blades, so many spears And losing dungeoneers Wore you down through the years But I still see the food on the ground And when Ben won the Crown Hear the spellcasting sound And Barry's talking Three levels in the game Hugo Myatt staring Twenty years of fame Nothing stopped me caring [Uplifting audio clips, e.g. Treguard/Merlin/Pickle praising a successful team.] I know that was then But it could be again It's coming home It's coming home It's coming Knightmare's coming home It's coming home It's coming home It's coming Knightmare's coming home It's coming home It's coming home... [etc.] [The following is amalgamated from a post made on Thursday 20 July 2006, 18:45, to negate the double posting.] Based on Parklife by Blur. Music video "Adoration is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as..." Knightmare "And dull childhood can be avoided if you take a route straight through what is known as..." Knightmare "Pickle's got pointy ears, he gets intimidated by the dirty goblins, they love a bit of it!" Knightmare "Who's that ogre marching? You should cut down on your clubbing, mate, get some exercise!" All the people So many people They all go helm on head Helm on head through their Knightmare "Know what I mean?" "I get up when I want, except on Fridays when I get rudely awakened by the genie." Knightmare "I put my jerkin on, have a cup of mead and I think about whetting the sword." Knightmare "I feed the dwarves, I sometimes feed the pookas too, it gives me a sense of enormous wellbeing." Knightmare "And then I'm ready for the quest of the day, safe in the knowledge there will always be a bit of my heart devoted to it." All the people So many people They all go helm on head Helm on head through their Knightmare "It's got nothing to do with Children's BBC you know. And it's not about you Blue Peter presenters, who go on and on and on..." All the people So many people They all go helm on head Helm on head through their Knightmare... [The following is amalgamated from a post made on Wednesday 02 August 2006, 18:28, to negate the double posting.] I always thought that Town Called Malice by The Jam (video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfpRm-p7qlY) needed to have a KM parody, so here it is. It's about Dickon & co's winning Series 4 quest. Better stop dreaming of the painted rooms 'Cos it's a time we'll never know And quit looking for that runaway cart 'Cos those rosy days are through And stop apologising that this isn't Series 3 'Cos time is short and life is cruel But it's up to us to take The Crown of Malice Tubes and jars of coloured potions Sit waiting in the wizard's yard And a monk fresh from a tavern Clutching the green brandy to his heart Turning to a scaly lizard down on Level Two It's enough to make you keep believing When fears come fast and furious Of the Crown of Malice Struggle after struggle, day after day The atmosphere's a fine blend of pink I'm down to Life Force Red For the Crown of Malice A whole team's belief that Dickon's the chief Comes true within the Dungeon Because I got past the blades and the Dungeon maids It's a big advancement to the Crown of Malice Duress of a sorceress is on my back She's at the moment set on my end Then FIRE takes her down Poison pours and Weeping Doors Three levels in the bag I could tell this to others and I probably will 'Cause I want them all to know we Got the Crown of Malice

Post modified accordingly.

Thanks for the detailed list. Although you mentioned excerpts, there don't seem to be any, but it's impressively compiled all the same. Even before I suggested Perfect Day as a basis for the new song project, I had this parody in mind. Official audio Just a Weeping Door Can't break it or kick it down Far more likely to wear a frown Than show glee Just a Weeping Door Hope there's only one of you Nope, there's one on Level Two And on Three Oh, it's such a Weeping Door We hate you. True or false? True Oh, such a creeping bore Open up and let us through We'll make toothpicks out of you Just a Weeping Door Spellbound and bound to whinge With names to make us cringe It's no fun Just a Weeping Door Made Pickle repeat himself The mournfulness kept the elf Paranoid, yeah* Oh, it's such a Weeping Door We hate you. True or false? True Oh, scourge of Series Four Open up and let us through Or we'll seal your lips with glue You're going to weep, just let me go You're going to weep, just let me go You're going to weep, just let me go [Repeated ad nauseam] Oh, what a Weeping Door *An in-joke which I hope people get, referring to a TV character who, as it happens, the Weeping Doors were not unlike. [Originally posted Thursday 11 May 2006] Treguard sees that the antechamber is empty apart from him, Pickle and the Eyeshield. So he decides to rap about it. Based on 'Me Myself And I' by De La Soul. Official video Magic mirror on the wall Tell me, mirror, what is weird? Can it be my DM clothes Or is it just my DM beard? What I do ain't make-believe People say I sit and try But when it comes to being DM It's just me, my elf and Eye It's just me, my elf and Eye It's just me, my elf and Eye It's just me, my elf and Eye Some may tease my Dungeon style And my Dungeon MC raps Some say I've looked like quite a stoner I did not, that's pure claptrap Always pushing that we've formed an image There's no need to lie When it comes to being Treguard It's just me, my elf and Eye It's just me, my elf and Eye It's just me, my elf and Eye It's just me, my elf and Eye Proud, I'm proud of what I am Poems I speak are DM type Please, oh please, let Pickle be Himself, though he's a silly sprite Right is wrong when hype is written On the Eyeshield, elf and me Style is surely our own thing Not the false disguise of TV Knightmare Castle's here for keeps And this fact I can't deny Strictly from the antechamber And from me, my elf and Eye It's just me, my elf and Eye It's just me, my elf and Eye It's just me, my elf and Eye... The rest of the lyrics are too silly to parody. [Originally posted Friday 19 May 2006] Ever wondered why Lillith left the Dungeon? Here's the answer, to the tune of Barry Mannilow's 'Copacabana'. The video can be found here. Her name was Lillith, she was in Knightmare With shiny whatnots in her hair And her makeup set to scare She would get bossy, and lay down causeways And while she tried to make her mark Mogdred waited in the dark On Levels 1, 2, 3 Slew dungeoneers with glee They were old but they had each other Versus Po'ers That Be At the Castle, Castle of Knightmare Guaranteed to get a fright there At the Castle, Castle of Knightmare Dungeons with questing were always the best thing At the Castle, they fell in love His name was Hordriss, wore a medallion And when he came to look around Lillith made his old heart pound After two series, he called her over But he would not leave her alone Mogdred sailed across the zone And then the punches flew And rocks were smashed in two There was blood and a fork of lightning But just who zapped who? At the Castle, Castle of Knightmare Some of the puzzles weren't quite fair At the Castle, Castle of Knightmare Dungeons with questing were always the best thing At the Castle, she lost her love Her name is Lillith, she was in Knightmare But that was 19 years ago, when they used to have a show* Now it's in VR, but not for Lillith Still in the dress she used to wear Faded tin-foil in her hair She sits there so refined And drinks herself half-blind It was Merlin who'd zapped the others And he lost his mind At the Castle, Castle of Knightmare Guaranteed to get a fright there At the Castle, Castle of Knightmare Dungeons with questing were always the best thing At the Castle, don't fall in love Don't fall in love *Addendum 15/04/2018: 12 years later and it is now '30 years ago', as per the original line, since Lillith was on Knightmare. Filking my life away so you don't have to.

another one for the knightmare rap collaboration!!!

[Well that was and this hope I hope is 'Alright' unlike the seeing spell/sight potion/hoojewhatsamacallit obsession of Series 7 it took it's inspiration from!] We'll be good, we'll be keen Keep our helmet nice and clean Seek out spells, take dragon flights. Need the Nightsight! We get up, and walk about Blow a horn, put it down Me and my friends wanna be Knights Need the Nightsight! Will we get through? I can't be sure After seeing these turns We're strange in dungeon worlds But may I remind The Life Force status 'Aint so bad, we've got time Go down a level if we like Need the Nightsight! Got some gold, did some deals Held shield out, 'crossed some fields Very droll, hit a wall Need the Nightsight! Have we got through? Cup was above the door Went all dark as we learned We'd been killed in dungeon terms Tho we were good, we were keen Kept our helmet nice and clean Me and my friends wanted to be Knights ...Needed the Nightsight! Tho we were good, we were keen Kept our helmet nice and clean Me and my friends wanted to be Knights ...Needed the Nightsight! [Even the Pooka's got upset by this one! ]

A little something developed from the annoying Sheila's Wheels advert. Thanks to Skarkill for all his help. Well, doing half the work. For Goblins who insure their cars Skarkill's Wheels are superstars Lord Fear is sick beyond endurance paying for Raptor’s high insurance For LOVELY car insurance deals, Goblins get on Skarkill’s Wheels Goblins make the safest drivers, so stop paying Bartram all those fivers For LOVELY car insurance deals Goblins go to Skarkill's wheels!