Musical Parody

Yes, I know it's a double post but I enjoy these filks. Anyway, I was thinking of doing this one for a bit based on "Backstreet's back" by You-Figure-it-out. Every fan, yeah Only you can, yeah Even fan, yeah Only you can, right Bring Knightmare back, tonight! One day we'll be back again Cast and crew, everybody's in Gonna show again, I'll tell you how Got a question for you, better answer now Is it original? (yeah) Is it the best show? (yeah) Is it worth the time (yeah) If you really want it back Then sign the petition now! (chorus) Now say "Ooh nasty" and prepare It's coming soon, so beware If you want it back let me hear you yell And we'll get it going on again (semi-chorus) (chorus) Now every fan everywhere There's only onward so show no fear We've got to tell the world, make it understand If KM doesn't run soon we'll be coming back again OK, not brilliant but makes it's point Edit: didn't like previous song, here's a better one. More of it soon: Fireballs glowing, all around me Children questing, having fun Tis the season, for challenging the dungeon Merry Questmess, everyone.

I'll give this verse a try: Snapper Jack allowed, different from the crowd Knew objects to help me on my route I'm playing the game, I've beat Lord Fear Bahl-Shebah wasn't the only star here Knew antechamber a magic pool at last Series 8, unsurpassed! Tried to diss me cause Smirk pulled me out... I was the last and I am proud! I'll probably edit this, not too happy. But them again, it's nearly one o' clock and I'm tired.

Not sure what that's from, though. Would like to have a go at the bits you haven't done. Sounds good, though! Here's another one, based on "Have yourself A Merry Little Christmas" where Hugo Myatt recognises a former dungeoneer while Christmas shopping: (HUGO MYATT) Have yourself a merry little christmas Shame you're not a knight From then on No other dungeoneers were as bright Have yourself a merry little christmas Though it all seems gray And a brand Knew series seems so far away Here we are as in olden days, And those who went before The advisors once leading you They thought you were done for (FORMER DUNGEONEER) They and I Remember the adventure I have, by itself A shining Frightknight on the highest shelf And have a good and Merry Christmas yourself.

And yet another corny christmas song from me Mace got run over by a red dragon Walking home from "Heifer" Christmas Eve You can say there's no such thing as dragons But as for me and Lord Fear, we believe He been drinking Etruscan brandy And they said for his health they feared He had forgot his Latin book, and he stepped out of the portal and disappeared When they found him Christmas morning They stared and shouted "Brother Mace!" They thought he looked a little too toasty And he had incriminating burn marks on his face Now we're all proud of Chris and co They'd been taking the quest quite well See him in there with lightning rod Full of success and a leftover spell It's not Christmas without Macey And everybody's wearing black And we can't help but wonder Should we finish off his brandy Or should we send it back? More soon. If you can stand it.

Ok for the first time ladies and gentlemen let me present what happens when the minds of Billy, Darren and myself are combined with helpful encouragement from Caei: SPLAT! I mean.... All I Want Is Knightmare to View - Billy, Darren and Mashibinbin I don't quest a lot at Christmas, There's this show that's really good, I don't care about the perils, underneath the Dunkley Wood. I just want to win the Cup Let's just hope I don't mess up May my path be true... All I want is Knightmare to view! I don't quest a lot at Christmas, There's this show that's really good, I don't care about the perils, underneath the Dunkley Wood. I don't need to hang the helmet There upon the fireplace Evil powers won't make me happy With a spell cast in this way I just want to win the Cup Let's just hope I don't mess up May my path be true... All I want is Knightmare to view! Ooooooh Treguard! Oh please give me a brand new series, or some reruns of the show (and I) I'm just gonna keep on waiting Why its cancelled I don't know! I don't care if it's on Challenge, ITV or BBC, I will even stay awake to, watch it after half past three Cause I just want it back tonight, Never giving up the fight All the rest is poo, really All I want is Knightmare to view! Ooooooh Nasty! Wooooooooah-oh! All the shows are boring, they're running out of steeeeeeeam! Uninspired music, awful tv themes, And everyone is singing, the timeout bells are ringing! Tim oh won't you bring me the thing I really need Won't you please bring the show back for me! Oh I don't watch a lot at Christmas, just one show I'm asking for, I just wanna see ol' Treggie, standing in that dungeon door... I just want to win the cup, let's just hope I don't mess up, may my path be truuuuuue, oh really all I want is Knightmaaaaaaaaaaaaare! Tooooooooooooooooo vieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew! Oooooooooooh tasty! All I want is Knightmare, to viiiiiiiiiiiiew nasty! All I want is Knightmare, to viiiiiiiiiiiiiiew Treguard! (fade out)

YAY! Finally a Christmas carol!!! And nice to have you back, even if I have no idea who you are! Just came back from school's carol singalong so I have an idea... Dungeonmaster Treguard went on first quest of season When the fire burned once more they reached an age of reason Brightly shone the sun that day, according to Drassil When a potenial dungeoneer entered the dark castle "Hither Pickle, stand by me, if thou know'st it telling Yonder kiddie, who is he? Where and what his dwelling?" "Sire, he lives a good way hence, comes from Northern Ireland In a place called Sligo, it's quite a big island" "Bring me eyeshield, bring me helm, he may be in danger Thou and I will see him quest, will you enter, stranger?" He and Pickle, forth they went, the castle's supervisors To make the young lad ready, and to meet advisors "Sire, the night is darker now and the levels are frozen Fails my heart, I know not what, what action have you chosen?" "Oh, Pickle, you see he's fine, no more interruption: He is just a victim of temporal disruption" Everything in this game is simply an illusion These armchair adventurers, stay for the conclusion "Master when will they go home, please tell me precisely" They will go home soon Pickle, if you ask them nicely...

Hey up people I'm back!!! To those unknown, I've just got back from a 3 month stay in Berlin. Here then is my first post since sometime in September and if it's already been done my apologies. Marblehead bells ring, are you Dungeoneerin, in Winteria, snow is glistening take the nightsight, survive the next fright, Questin in a perlious illusionary land. Gone away are the old ways, here to stay are the causeways We cast a TRUTH spell, then descend a well, Questin in a perlious illusionary land. In the ruins we can find Hordriss, Then pretend that he is umm...Harris! He'll say: Are you willing? we'll say: yes man, We're now looking for an artefact; when redeeming we just call thrice 'Malefact' Later on, we spy Fear conspire, as Treguard sits by the fire We're unafraid, of the plans that he's made, Questin in a perlious fantasy land. Marblehead bells ring, are you Dungeoneerin, in Winteria, snow is glistening take the nightsight, survive the next fright, Questin in a perlious illusionary land. Gone away are the old ways, here to stay are the causeways We cast a TRUTH spell, then descend a well, Questin in a perlious illusionary land. Questin in a perlious illusionary land. Questin in a perlious illusionary land.

Falls off chair laughing That's FANTASTIC Drassil, how did you come up with that? Here's something I thought of when listening to YMCA by the Village People: My friend, please don't be depressed I said, my friend, don't need to pass any test I said, my friend, you're a Knightmare fan There's no need to start feeling lonely My friend, there's a place you can be I said, my friend, owners Darren and Billy Will make sure, you have lots of fun With Blind Date, Catchphrase, Mornington... It's fun to chat at the KM Chat, hey It's fun to chat at the KM Chat, hey Everything for KM fans and it never ends You can chat with all your friends It's fun to chat at the KM Chat, hey It's fun to chat at the KM Chat, hey You can get snogged by Snowwie, you can watch the news Just remember we have some screws loose My friend, please wipe your feet In the chatroom, more people to meet Don't think you've met Pooka, Sodoto or Keith Prepare to stare in disbelief No one escapes the resident bots My friend, they will tie you in knots Cypher, Caei, Jobey and formerly Q At http://ikm.ezri.mine.nu It's fun to chat at the KM Chat, hey It's fun to chat at the KM Chat, hey My friend, I was once in your shoes I was lonely and had the blues I had no fun, till I entered the chat And the members all changed that One night, I took their advice They didn't care that, I turned them into mice So go down, to the KM Chat, hey And start chatting today It's fun to chat at the KM Chat, hey It's fun to chat at the KM Chat, hey OK, it's got nothing to to with KM, but I'm thinking up something else. And it makes me look like an egomaniac. Mission accomplished. Here's YET ANOTHER reworking of "The Time Warp" It's astounding Life force fleeting Madness takes it's toll Listen closely, to my instructions Lord Fear, he'll take control I remember doing the time warp Drinking those phases when The fearnessss would hit me Brollachan would be calling Let's do the time warp again Let's do the time warp again It's just a jump on the ledge And a sidestep to the right Put your helm on your head And clutch the eye shield tight But it's the "Ooh Nasty" That really drive you insane Let's do the time warp again It's so dreamy Treguard please free me But he can't see me No, not at all With a bit of a mouth slip You're victim of Olaf's "blip" And nothing could ever be the same Wait for manifestation But if in trepidation Let's do the time warp again Let's do the time warp again Well I was looking through the glass but unaware Lord Fear was giving me an evil stare Then I was there, taken by surprise By his cool new lair and his glowing eyes The bell chimed and I felt the shame Time was nothing 'cos I lost the game

And now, two songfics for the price of three. Like they say, a guy's gotta make a living! ...Oh OK, I'll make it two for the price of one. The first is Based upon 'Sometimes' by Erasure. Official audio It's not the way you send them with the Helm into the Dungeon It's not the way you don't wear silly hats like Nemanor Been thinking about you, I just couldn't wait to see Watching you on Knightmare as you bring those words to me Ooh nasty A death is turned into a source of glee, yeah Ooh nasty You're the best DM on TV It's not the way that you impress me, brighten up my Fridays It's not my sense of emptiness you fill with your log fire Stand by the advisors, and forget about Tim Child Taunt them, you will haunt them with the words that drive us wild: Ooh nasty A death is turned into a source of glee, yeah Ooh nasty You're the best DM on TV... The second is based on a well known anti-Vietnam War song with artificial stuttering, i.e. Nineteen by Paul Hardcastle. Official audio "In 1987, Knightmare seemed like just another TV show. But it wasn't. It was different in many ways, and so were those that did the questing. In World War II the average death of the combat soldier was tragic. In Knightmare it was nasty. In-in-in-in-in-in-in Knightmare it was nasty..." N-n-n-n-nasty "The walking and sidestepping of the past five years continued today 25 miles south west of Dunshelm" "I wasn't really sure where I was" N-n-n-n-nasty, nasty, n-nasty, nasty Nasty, nasty, nasty, nasty "In Knightmare the dungeoneer typically served a thirty minute tour of duty But was exposed to hostile danger in almost every room..." N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nasty n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nasty N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-Knightmare n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-Knightmare "In Dunshelm a Saxon Powers That Be spokesman said today more than 4 adventurers Were killed last year in that sensitive border area. Throughout all of the Dungeon the PTB lost a total of 160 soldiers..." All those who remember Knightmare They don't forget what they see Dismissal of kids in their prime Whose average death was nasty Di-di-di-di-di-di-di-dismissal D-d-d-d-d-d-d-Dunswater "According to a Veterans Administration study, Half of the Knightmare TV veterans suffer from what psychiatrists call Post Traumatic Quest Disorder. Many vets complain of alienation, rage or guilt. Some succumb to Yuletide thoughts. Eighteen to eleven years after coming home, almost two hundred people Are still playing the Knightmare game..." "Few of them received a hero's welcome..."

Just a few suggestions: When a character gives their calling name they could sing "Call me" by Blondie When a dungeoneer has held on to a spyglass for too long and the advisors sing "Red eyes" (from "Blue Eyes") by Elton John (or perhaps "Skull Eyes" relating to the life force skull) Dungeoneer dies and the team are visibly upset. Treguard sings "Everybody Hurts" by REM I've got an idea for the secone point, but stuck on the others. PS Here's one that was started earlier: Oh yes it's Lissard's night Fear's not in sight Oh yes it's Lissard's night Oh what a night Henchmen, we've all got one A night that's special everywhere From Dunshelm to The Greenwood It's Lissard's night And he's up to no good Oh yes it's Lissard's night Fear's not in sight Oh yes it's Lissard's night Oh what a night In Fear's pool your face can be seen And the places you have been Lissard here, Lissard there Everywhere But Lissard it's your night you've got to be there Oh yes it's Lissard's night Fear's not in sight Oh yes it's Lissard's night Oh what a night

I recently thought about this song from a song called "Ghost town" (can't remember who sang it) Work in progress, I'll make some improvents soon. Dunshelm Is looking like a ghost town This place Is looking like a ghost town Dragons fly no more They've been confined to folklore Do you remember the good old days before the ghost town? When Dungeoneers quested but some went down Dunshelm Is looking like a ghost town This place Is looking like a ghost town Can't go on any more Fans getting notsalgic Dunshelm Is looking like a ghost town This place Is looking like a ghost town Dunshelm Is looking like a ghost town This place Is looking like a ghost town

Someone suggested this a while back: (A dungeoneer is sick of answering the Brollachan's questions:) There's that curiousity in your eyes all the way If I didn't answer your questions would you say "Feeeeeeeeed me with knowledge Or you'll be hanging off a cliff edge" Brolla Brolla Brolla Brolla Chan You come and go You come and go Questing would be easy if your questions weren't so hard So very hard, So very hard Every level is about surviving Answer your questions, you are thriving (X2) (At this point the Brollachan eats them) 'Nother song: Goblins wanna have fun! I come back after a good night And Skarkill says when you gonna do your job right? Oh Master, but aren't we the overworked ones And goblins want to have fun Oh goblins want to have fun Dungeoneer escapes and out of our sight Lord Fear yells it's my fault it's become a knight Oh Lord Fear you know you're still number one But goblins they want to have fun Oh goblins want to have fun I'll think of the rest soon

We haven't done Elton John for a bit: Lord Fear singing: You could never know what it's like When all you've got left is a rusty mike I'm going to sing for what it's worth And scare every living creature left on the earth 'Cos I'm still scary After everything Looking for something terrifying to scare off all those kids I'm still scary after all this time Picking up the pieces of my armour Without kiddies on my side I never thought I wouldn't win But it seems Treguard's proved me wrong again The threats I made never held you down And if the dungeon was still running You'd be gone by now 'Cos I'm still scary After everything Looking for something terrifying to scare off all those kids I'm still scary after all this time Picking up the pieces of my armour Without kiddies on my side I'm still scary (Lissard: Yesssss, Yessss, Yessss) I'm still scary (Lissard: Yesssss, Yessss, Yessss)

This is just to annoy those who were on KMChat on Friday night: (Elita and Pickle (in drag)) We are the elven girls We are the elven girls You are the dugeoneers You are the dungeoneers (Elita) I never ever ask, when I'll get paid (Pickle) I never ever ask, I don't own the cup (Elita) I never ever ask, just free the maid (Pickle) I never ever ask, why you don't shut up (Both)Take up gauntlet, you're the best Sidestep left, this is quest I'll think up some more soon. Or maybe someone wants to finish this off?

Here's a bit of it... (Lord Fear, to dungeoneer:) I'm the leader of the opposition And when I've killed you off I'll be true to my nastiness And destroy poor Smirkenorff (Dungeoneer takes off helmet, and turns out to be Tim Child!) (Tim Child:) Then goodbye to your goblins I'll replace them with something new And especially your henchmen That'll leave only you (Treguard:) Then goodbye to your goblins He'll replace them with something new And especially your henchmen That'll leave only you For he is a Knightmare Fan And it's something I can't edit And it's greatly to his credit That he is a Knightmare fan He remains a Knightmare fan!

Queen has been one of the most popular choices for songfics in this thread. Good to see Knightmare songfic debuts from members old and new. And now, in time for Hallowe'en, a reworking of one of Michael Jackson's most celebrated hits: Thriller. It's close to teatime, and something evil's lurking on the path Near 'ooh nasty' time, you hear a grunt that almost stops your heart You try to scream, but Treguard tells you not to be so noisy You start to freeze, as squalor looks you right between the horns Then he just yawns 'Cause it's Fatilla, Fatilla right And who is gonna save you from the brute about to strike? You know Fatilla, Fatilla right You're questing for your life beside a big Fatilla tonight Your three advisors are wondering just what he's gonna do You sense the large club, and wonder if you'll get to Level Two You close your eyes and wonder why his name's so very corny But all the while you fear that he will turn you into chops With blips and blops 'Cause it's Fatilla, Fatilla right There ain't no seventh chance against the thing of enormous size You know Fatilla, Fatilla right You're questing to survive beside a big Fatilla tonight He's Michael Cule and when he's not Fatilla he's Brother Mace All of the teams will escape the barbarian each time It's so easy it's a crime He will not like you, he wants to stop you climbing in the well But his low IQ will help you get away with lies you tell This is the day to use your wits or items... or there's Pickle So many ways of getting past the hulking hungry hun You'll find it fun 'Cause it's Fatilla, Fatilla right And he won't chill you more than any ghost who would dare to try You know Fatilla, Fatilla right So seek to be a knight and pass a filler, diller, swiller Fatilla - he's not light... [...And so on. And now for the Vincent Price 'rap'. Which isn't all that different from Treguard's rhyming recaps, when you think about it...] Teatime falls across the land The Knightmare hour is close at hand Children watch with curtains drawn With family, friends, or all forlorn And whomsoever there might be That dares to flick to BBC Shall have a Friday dull as hell And freeze along with time-out bell The foulest stench is in the air A hun who hasn't washed for years And, dumb as when he left the womb He's standing guard at Fort of Doom And though you're fighting not to laugh Your lip will start to quiver For no mere mortal can resist The humour of Fatilla

Here's the full song: Take a piece of my gold Take a piece of this gem Let me live... Why don't you take another little jewel that's green Why don't you take it, and spend it, and let me pass unseen All I do is give All you do is kill Please don't kill me, I'm just a teen So let me live (Advisors: let her live) Leave me alone (Advisors: leave her alone) (To Tim)Let me live and make a brand new quest Why don't you take another little piece of this bread Why don't you take it, and eat it, and don't kill me instead All you do is kill All I do is bribe All that I'm asking is a chance to restart So let me live (Advisors: let her live) Leave me alone (Advisors: leave her alone) (To Tim)Let me live, why won't you let me make a brand new quest (Tim shakes his head and give her the "cut it out" signal) Advisors: And it's a long, long struggle And you cannot depend on us And if you're ever in trouble We'll be on the homecoming bus (They run out of the room) Julie: Why don't you take another little bit of this sauce If you're going to eat me, believe me I'm tough as an old horse All you do is kill You knew I was going to die Treguard: Believe me, love, we don't feel a glint of remorse So let me live (Advisors: let her live) Leave me alone (Advisors: leave her alone) If I just give a little, will you let me live a little more? (Her life force turns critical. And not a moment too soon)

Original lyrics are here: http://www.azlyrics.us/48865 Sorry for choosing such an obscure song! [You're walking through Dunkley Wood, afraid of goblins, stormgeists and wolves, to say the least. Suddenly, you get pulled into a bush by a gang of men in camouflage. "Who are you?" you demand. "We're Pooka spotters," says a guy in an anorak, with a beard, thick glasses, a notepad and a thermos flask. "Pookas?" I don't like them!" you moan. All the spotters gasp. "Whyever not?" says The Bearded One. "Well, they're evil, aren't they? They scare the bejeezes out of most Dungeoneers... c'mon, they're in the service of Lord Fear!" you explain. "No, no, you're all wrong," says Beardy McBeard. "Pookas are playful, shape-shifting sprites. The aggressive plant-pookas you see around here have to act aggressive, because hunters have been killing them off!" A tear trickles down his face into his beard. "We're the Pooka Preservation Society, or PooPS for short." "But why...?" you begin to ask. You immediately wish you hadn't, because the spotters all immediately begin to sing.] Pooka loopy, nuts are we Me and him and them and me We'll show you what we all love Not a dog, or cat, or a mouse, or dove Pot on their heads, so we're keen For the green, green, green, green, green... and green Pooka loopy nuts are we We're all Pooka loopy Now ol' Gwendoline, she goes wanderin' Through Forests of Level One And when she's near, Dungeoneers keep clear And she wonders why she's shunned She thinks it's the Pookas, scarin' 'em away As a ranger they won't rate her But they don't keep clear of the Pookas, my dear: It's just because they hate her! Pookas in their den, hours they spend Look at the Pookas all It's a big green haze, one would be amazed At the sight of a Pooka ball 'Cause they're kind folks, they only play jokes Like you have no idea They scare you away, but they only want to play (They're not servants of Fear!) Pooka loopy, nuts are we Me and him and them and me They're not crazy, they're not bad They're only playful, and a little mad If you think they're evil, you're mean For there's never any evil in the sprites of green Pooka loopy, nuts are we We're all Pooka loopy Now Merlin the mage has accumulated age From thousands of years ago He served King 'Arf since he was one and a half And is proud of his wisdom so! But he's confused, so he'll peruse His tome of Level 2's scene: Surely Pookas change their shape, And he wonders why they're all green! Now he prays and prays, takes a couple of days For an answer to arrive: Populations are thin, so they have to blend in It's in order to survive! Make no mistake, it's make or break For the Pookas in the dungeon - To blend in with the trees, they transform into leaves To keep their numbers from plungin'! Pooka loopy, nuts are we Me and him and them and me We'll tell you what they can do 'Cause they've got so much more skill than you It's a wonder they keep clean, But there's never been a smudge on the skin of green! Pooka loopy, nuts are we We're all Pooka loopy In Knightmare's fourth year, we came very near To the Pooka-spotters' crown But we never got to put it on our trophy shelf Cos the hunters kept their numbers down: It all went full throttle, Puck got put in a bottle While the causeway's Falgo's flaunting And the old Dungeon Master's just as much of a bastard: He refers to them as 'hauntings'! Pooka loopy, nuts are we Me and him and them and me We'd show you what we can do But in recent days, there are Pookas few It's a shame they're rarely seen But if you're walking through the Dungeon, see a flash of green: It's a Pooka, you'll soon see Why we're Pooka loopy Pooka loopy, nuts are we Me and him and them and me We'll show you what we can do With a spotter's book, and a Pooka... cue! Look! There's one right over there! In the shape of a swallow, flying through the air! It's rare to see that, we're sure you agree. We're all Pooka loopy! Pooka loopy, nuts are we: We're all Pooka loopy! Pooka loopy, nuts are we... We're all Pooka loopy!

I've posted these on my LJ in the past, but never got round to putting them here. They're parodies of two songs from two famous adverts. First off, the Halifax advert that was itself based on a song, 'Sex Bomb' by Tom Jones. No Howard Brown here, though, instead, Treguard reassures a nervous dungeoneer through the medium of song. *I'm a dungeon master who's completely obsessed, My helmet of justice, is bound to impress, This knapsack for food, will, put you in the mood, As, you make ready for your big quest. Now you, probably think that it's a, forlorn hope, With Fear watching you, through his telescope, But say "Where am I?", and, without any fuss You can rely on your advisors! Knightmare, Knightmare, I know you want more, I'll give you the Eye Shield as you walk through the door, Knightmare, Knightmare, though I cannot deny, Like most, you'll probably die.* Christmas is coming up, and with it the famous Toys R Us song that's been around since at least 1989. Here's the Knightmare take on it, though... *There's a magical place, we're on our way there. With quests in their millions, all under one roof. It's called "Knightmare Castle"! Soon after Countdown, with mind-boggling tests, Treguard and helpers make ready the Quests! From ceiling to floor, traps, puzzles and maids They've got Trials by Spikes, and Corridors of Blades! "There's millions!" says Treguard, "All under one roof!". It's called Knightmare Castle, Knightmare Castle, Knightmare Castle!*

Mrs. Grimwold gives her interpretation of the Tears For (Lord) Fears song Mad World: All around me are familiar jesters SHUDDUP FESTUS, how it pesters Bright and early for the daily questors Going somewhere, going somewhere The faces hidden under helmets No expression, no expression Hide my head I want to take an item He would smite 'em, it would bite 'em And I find it kind of funny I find it kind of sad The quests with dearies dying are the best I've ever had I find it hard to tell you I find it hard to take When people are on Knightmare it's a very very Grim Wold Grim Wold