They would never say...
-
Lord Fear: Keep on looking through the spyglass for as long as you like! I don't mind you hearing all my secrets...
Treguard: Life force increasing team, stay a while.
Ooh, Nasty! Spellcasting, B-O-G-O-F-F...
Enter, Stranger... Who challenges the dungeon?
(dungeoneer gives name)
Your challenge is refused. Go away.
-
Golgarach: 'Truth accepted. Here is my fourth...'
The Knightmare Production Team: 'Fidjit! We love ya, mate! The combination of comic possibilities and acting panache is out of this world. You're definitely on board for Series 8. [Wistful pause] Picture your name in lights. 'An Evenin' With Fidjit' - the new Broadway smash. Now - think bigger! The sky's the limit, baby! Yeah!'
-
Merlin: What are you doing in my chamber? Hordriss is much more powerful than I am and he would never make you answer ridiculous opposites riddles. Off you go then, yes remove the steps on your way out.
Merlin (next quest): Well done team you have answered my riddles but I have forgotten the magic i was supposed to give out.
Hordriss: One just does not get it, why is one called Hordriss the Confuser? Is one that confusing? Why not Hordriss the brave or Hordriss the Lionheart. Just because one knows such advanced magics and demands respect and one does go on a bit and throughly confuses some dungeoneers then......oh I see why.
Treguard: (after putting on helmet of justice) Well team choose your quest
Advisors: We choose to quest for the Helmet of Justice, well look there it is. I believe you owe us some Frightnight trophies.
Lord Fear: You know I really am not sure why I use all my great magical powers and resources to attack blindfolded young children, you would think I would try something more ambitious like curing terminal illnesses or world conquest....
-
[Treguard enters the antechamber clad in a Stafleet uniform, with gelled hair, and sits in his chair.]
Treguard: 'Dungeon Master's log, stardate 2112.3. We have arrived at... the new Phase of the Dungeon, on our mission to... retrieve the Cup that Heals, in order to halt the... plague on... Yeltom II. I have recruited a child to enter the... Dungeon and... locate the quest object.'
Pickle: [also in a Starfleet uniform, but with his usual eyebrows and ears] 'Master, it is highly illogical to send an untrained prepubescent humanoid into an unknown and potentially dangerous locale.'
Treguard: 'Mr. Pickle, with all due respect, no-one asked you. I'm giving the child a helmet for protection, what more do you want? [calls out] More power, Mr. McGrew!'
[McGrew runs in.]
McGrew: 'But Treguard, I've pushed the Dungeon as far as she'll go, she canna take any more!!'
-
Dungeoneer: "Where am I?"
Advisor: "In McDonalds."
Dungeoneer: "Big Mac and Fries anyone?"
The Dungeoneer gose to order and the guy at he till turns out to be............
Advisors: SKARKILL?
Skarkill: What'll It Be Mate ?
Dungeoneer: What Are You Doing Here ?
Skarkill: After The Red Death Incident, and Raptor Replacing Me This was the Only Place that would hire me.
Tregaurd. OHHH NASTY.
-
[Malice is in the Eye Shield Room. She sees a white rabbit run by, follows it down a rabbit hole, and ends up at the Mad Hatter's Tea Party.]
Malice: 'Curiouser and curiouser...'
[Hordriss enters a bar. He hops onto a bar stool and, next to him, sees someone who takes his fancy. He is looking into a mirror.]
Hordriss: 'So, does one come here often?'
-
Mogdred: Play a while, forever...
Dungeoneer: Looks like there's no way out guys
Advisors: Not so fast you still have the games console controller from the clue room right?
Dungeoneer: Yes...
Advisors: Well that clue from Hordriss was that we need to bend the rules properly. Of course the cheat on the scroll!
Dungeoneer: *holding up controller.*up, down, square, right, R1, L2, backwards, triangles
Dungeoneer gains infinite life force and no-clipping (fly through walls) mode
Treguard: sigh youth of today, never do things properly.
-
(who said it was a PS2 controller, you aren't likely to find a Macdonalds either that's why its a joke )
(Dungeon Commercials)
Gwendoline: Well I see you have an arrow as a token but to be honest I have far too many, I mean my house is getting full of quivers. Don't suppose you have any pot pourri?
Dungeoneer: Nope sorry love, how about this fong shui book?
Gwen: Well I got one of them for christmas, how about a vase?
Dungeoneer: Well the scroll said...
Gwen: Oh ignore them, they haven't been updated for ages oh my god! You know what i'm saying? Sorry your quest ends here....
Freeze Frame
Narrator: Has this ever happened to you? If you want to know what you really should choose to satisfy all dungeon dwellers, you should subscribe to ClueBase gives you all the data on what clue items are hip and happening. Only a bag of silver a month! Clue rooms will never be the same again!
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