The KM Top 10 of Everything
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GG - I do like that list. A couple there I'd forgotten about! I don't remember the Mirmen too well, so can't say about that death, but some of those were certainly worhty of the "Ooh... nasty!" in their own rights! (And was that really the case with Lilith? Probably explains why she disappears after S2...)
Oops. Thankyou for the compliment, even though I am 2 months late in responding to it. hangs head in shame
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Okay, I haven't mentioned her much lately, so here's my:
Top 10 Reasons Why I Dislike Velda:
**10. **She's a hypocrite. She's apparently "strong on courtesy" and then attacks people on sight. The fact one of them is my hubbie has nothing to do with me including this reason.
**9. **That silly catlike crouch she does. It looks so silly. Just look at the picture of her under the Characters section in the S3 Guide on Illusion's site if you don't know what I mean.
**8. **That tepid scene with Team 1 of Series 3. She's so hot on courtesy, but relents completely when they just say "Can I get past please?". If I was so strong on courtesy, which I'm not, I'd want a bit more than that, even from 12 year-olds.
**7. **The wig. I assume it's a wig, since it looks terrible in close-ups.
**6. **The general overacting. As opposed to-
**5. **The fact she's obviously on Prozac and been drinking coffee non-stop for the last 10 hours. She's just so hyperactive, it makes you wonder how anyone could ever aim to hold anything approaching a conversation with her.
**4. **The word I can't make out that she keeps using. Please someone, tell me what a "doolie" (sp?) is. At least it sounds like that, anyway. Actually, I couldn't care less, but now I've asked I'll nod politely when smeone explains it.
**3. "EEEELVEN DEATH!!!!" **and all those other silly things she shouts far too loudly.
**2. **More of a general rant, but the fact that the Elves in Knightmare are nothing like each other. Yes, some differences are cool, but Pickle's meek and dull as Dunswater (my opinion!), Elita's a SuperBitch while Velda's this Prozac-filled coffee-overdosing hormonal maniac who should never have been allowed anywhere near a crossbow, let alone allowed to wield one.
**1. **The crossbow, or more specifically the bolts fired from it, which are enormous and completely unrealistic. They also move slowly enough so that it'd probably be possible to dodge them if it weren't in the script for her target to stand there lamely waiting for it to get near them.
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Here's Everybodys favirote Goblain Master's Top 10 Dungeon Monsters.
10. Mire-Trogs S8: I know they only made 2 apperences BUT the scene were one is bareing down on a dungoneer is a image that still sticks in my mind.
9. Snap Dragons S8: The sheer speed at which they came out of the holes. Never got a kill but by god they out the Fear of Fear into some teams.
- Trolls S6-S8: With two deaths to there name one of the most intimadating of all of Lord Fear's Dungon Monsters. Nicola's death at the hands (Or should I say Feet) of a troll in S7 is one of the spookest deaths in KM history.
7. Tiny The Hobgoblain S5-S6: A Few apperences but used to scare the liveing daylights out of me as a kid. Not as frightning now though.
**6. Miremen **S8: Agine the death puts these beasties up here. I also liked the scene were there advancing on a dungeoneer in The Seweres Of Goth.
5. Cavenwrights S2-S3: Just A Blanket over an extra I know BUT the fact theses horror's were once human Urggh, the thoughts too hidious to contimplate.
4. Maduser S1-S2: BOY OH BOY. What a neat death sequence even the advisors are affected.
3. The Dreadnought S6: The best Macanical Monster ever in Knightmare.
"I SEEK A WORD. IF IT IS THE WRONG WORD I TAKE A LIME INSTEAD."
Send shivers down my spine even now.
2. The Floating Terrors S2-S6: Ghosts, White Skulls, Pooka's & Stormghiests. The floating Terrors were part of KM for a long time.
1. Goblains S3-S8: Longerst serveing Monsters and most nortorias. The sound of there hunting horn is legendary in KM History and is one of the most Identifable sounds besides the theme tune itself
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Nice job, Skarkill. I think I'll do the Top Creatures thing sometime too.
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(Gah! Double post! Bad Cull! X_x )
I think that this attitude is fair enough. I always feel guilty about making two posts in a row, and try to avoid it by editing/modifying the first post to include new information.
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3. The Dreadnought S6: The best Macanical Monster ever in Knightmare.
"I SEEK A WORD. IF IT IS THE WRONG WORD I TAKE A LIME INSTEAD."
**"AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE A LIME I'LL TAKE A PASSION FRUIT." **
Sorry Skarkill, I don't usually comment on typos, but that one made me laugh. All meant in a good-natured way, you understand.
I still need to do the monsters list.
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My Favourite Series Order (Top 8 really but ssh);
S5 (good characters but some weren't as good, poor teams and too many eye-sheild sequences)
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S4 (too purple, too much eye shield and some characters get old fast, beats s5 on good dungeoneers and having B&T)
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S1 (good series but some characters still getting used to it and dungeon in test mode really)
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S8 (Too short, short cuts which are really unfair imo and reach wand which I thought was annoying.)
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S6 (newer characters getting more into their role, new life force and the swing of it gets back)
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S2 (early series generated the first winners and the second, great quests including Medusa deaths. Some good characters and neutral style Treguard.)
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S7 (Great series, very good plot developments introduction of Majida to take over Pickle who had played out his course imo. Barry and Julie in this series and good End Of Season)
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S3 (Great quests, remains undefeated has wonderful looking rooms and great ideas, best use of life force out of all series. Some truely great T.V moments.
So there it is, my top 8 of KM series. Opinions anyone?
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So there it is, my top 8 of KM series. Opinions anyone?
Yes, I rather like that list. It was a good idea, too. I'll have to think on my version, and agonise over where to place Series 7. Darn you, wonderful but underachieving Series 7.
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As promised.
"Top" 8 Series:
**8. Series 4 **- I don't like the Eye Shield, and its introduction made things even more repetitive than they already were in Series 4. Some nice new characters, but I don't think most of the outside filming works very well, and Dooris is painful to watch. Little variation in Quests or storylines. Also John Woodnutt's worst performances as Merlin, in my opinion, especially when in the stocks.
**7. Series 5 **- Pretty dire, but some good new characters make it more watchable for me. The "new" format is still finding its feet, and some actors are quite far off with their characters for a lot of the season, particularly Paul Valentine as Hands. Thankfully some of the older unoriginal characters are gone, although we still have awfully cliched ones like Aesandre making an appearance. Some dire teams, too, but just occasionally funny for that reason.
**6. Series 8 **- Mainly because it's so short, really. In many ways I think the show was on an upward trend again after some mistakes in Series 7, but I genuinely can't see how anyone thought the Reach Wand would capture the imagination, and Honesty Bartram and Snapper Jack needed a lot of work to make them memorable for the right reasons. I'm of the camp who suggest the winning team was a bit of a sham. Nothing they could do, I just don't think they deserved to win, and I think it cheapened the show somewhat to let them do so.
**5. Series 1 **- Obviously, this is KM finding its feet, but it's original and interesting, with some great initial characters. The mood is great and they didn't "sell out" by letting a team win, which really set a standard to live up to.
**4. Series 2 **- Great stuff most of the way through, using the best bits of Series 1 and letting us see a fair amount more too. An amazing variety of interesting deaths really make this season stand out.
**3. Series 6 **- The new characters from Series 5 have found their feet, and although "grand storyline" syndrome is setting in somewhat, most of it is good stuff. Most of the newers characters have improved, while the older ones are generally treated well this year.
**2. Series 7 **- I both hate and love it, and I want to place it both here and at #8, nowhere in between. It's here for what it could be, and for what it is if you don't look too hard. It looks fabulous, and the new environments are amazing to look at. (I like the Sewers too, even though I know they annoy some people.) Lord Fear has a great environment, although I increasingly think the humour between him and Lissard is taken too far on occasion. The storylines across the season generally work well, both with respect to Grimaldine/the Brollachan and Greystagg/Witchhaven. Grimaldine and Greystagg are both excellent characters in their own right, with potentially fascinating motives and conflicts to be explored. The Brollachan is a great idea visually well realised. However, the reverse is that the Brollachan is a pretty pathetic Wall Monster compared to those of old. Incorrect but confident guesses wouldn't have worked on The Brangwen She, that's for sure. There are also some truly awful characters, especially Marta and Fidjit. I don't like Motley much, but Fidjit is 10 times worse. The way Marta has to be shoved into that silly "Lissard Disguised as Marta" storyline is saddening, but it proves how useful she is otherwise. Sadly, the Hordriss of Series 7 would also have fallen for it, and he seems a complete shade of his former self this year- like Sidriss with a beard, sometimes, in the way he constantly needs rescuing.
**1. Series 3 **- Well, since I've already posted my reasons for loving it once in this thread, I guess I don't need to again.
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Ok, now that i have finished a review of all eight series, some great posts elsewhere by Canadanne about Knightmare awards have inspired me to revive this thread and put together some of my own favourites for consideration....
Starting with Favourite Series. (In reverse order, of course.)
8th: series 5 - Radical change in direction and incredibly slow paced. (It did introduce the excellent causeways tho.)
7th: series 8 - Welcome return to a more traditional dungeon adventure, but too short. Teams rather hit & miss.
6th: series 7 - Decent follow-on from S6 with tough new puzzles (chaos of cards & trial by spikes). Let down by the very contrived final quest....
5th: series 6 - A good return to form. A very fine array of teams.
4th: series 4* - Incredibly slow and rather repetitive at times, but the characters were superb and the teams were a good selection.
3rd: series 1 - The first couple of episodes were a little slow (as you might expect for a new program) but it turned into a fine debut.
2nd: series 2 - Excellent series. Great characters, some very entertaining teams (not necessarily intentionally) and some great demises.
1st: series 3 - The ultimate. Great looking dungeon, superb characters and an array of teams across the whole spectrum from brilliant to dismal.
*S4 was the "transitional" series and was a series of extremes, making it the hardest to rate. It could probably rate anywhere from 3rd to 7th.
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My favourite series have changed radically over time, but in best-to-worst order, as they currently stand:
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Series 7 - a nice range of characters, some wonderful floor puzzles, very atmospheric setting, and some entertaining teams. The last two winning quests made for fantastic and gripping viewing. Hands is at his best this series, as well.
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Series 6 - one of the scariest series in my opinion, with the opening sequence implying that nowhere is safe. Also a good range of characters and some deadly traps (but not as much as in Series 7). Dreadnort was terrifying the first time you saw him, and I like Adrian Neil too - who only lasted one series. And Ah Wok - although questionable - always makes me laugh.
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Series 8 - a bone of contention for many, but some really good ideas here which were completely wasted on a very short series, It looks gorgeous, with the updated visuals, and it had most levels back in the dungeon, which was a nice touch. Linghorm and Marblehead were also imposing... and every death in the series was different, so there was plenty of variety here! Should've been a longer series, really.
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Series 3 - a fan favourite, which stands out purely because it is so different from every other series that came before and after it. I've seen people say that this should have been replicated for later series, but I don't agree - it stands alone as a unique piece of Knightmare history. Stylistically, it works. And I like the doorway transition animation!
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Series 5 - my least favourite of the Lord Fear era, although it's genuinely not as bad as I thought, on a rewatch. It's a period of transition, and it shows; Series 6 is a refined version of what was started here. And there are some great moments - particularly Ben's winning guest - a deserved and exciting win.
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Series 2 - which I actually find pretty dull, as there are lots of dungeoneers who are struggling to find their feet leading to interminable room exit sequences. My 77-year-old boss, who watched Knightmare to get an idea of what I was talking about, found it tiresome too - and she was watching a winning quest. If it had moved less slowly, it would have been much more of a joy to watch. Nice ideas, though.
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Series 4 - incredibly repetitive to the point that after the fourth quest of Treguard and Pickle saying the same thing over and over again I have the open and willing urge to gnaw my own face off. It has some good moments, though - Helen's opening quest ending in Mogdred's only kill and Giles' series ender with the frantic Block and Tackle that made Treguard laugh! I'm not fond of the Eye Shield much either, but I do appreciated how it moved the quests along, eliminating all the waiting periods in Series 1 to 3.
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Series 1 - Necessary, groundbreaking, and iconic. But really, really boring.
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Yes, i liked Adrian Neil as well. It was a pity that he didn't return for another series. The charming minstrel Ridolpho just misses out on my next Top Ten:
Top Ten favourite characters. (In reverse order.)
10 Lillith Dramatic character, who really provided some fear factor in level 1. Personally terminated three dungeoneers.
9 Mogdred Great funereal voice. Really scared some early teams. Finally got to terminate a dungeoneer in person in S4.
8 Elita Lively and unpredictable character who gave some serious abuse to dull dungeoneers. (and she encountered several of those )
7 Cedric Even more abusive than Elita. Finally got his 15 seconds of fame in S2 when he clobbered a dungeoneer.
6 Motley Mellow jester with a likeable "cockney-geezer" style. Greatly missed in S7.
5 Gundrada Big, boisterous and slightly bonkers sword-mistress. Had some great one-liners.
4 Malice Wonderfully morally ambiguous. Even teams who made a pact with her had no doubt about the consequences if they failed her.
3 Hordriss Delightfully pompous character with a fantastic voice. I preferred his more ambiguous nature in S3.
2 Brother Mace Lively character with some great comments. His scenes were always enjoyable.
1 Morghanna That sinister voice, that evil, mocking laughter and that awesome black costume. Sadly only appeared twice, but made more impact in a few minutes than many characters made in several series. Knightmare's finest antagonist.
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As hinted in an earlier post, ranking eight series isn't entirely true to the title of this thread. However, it could be solved by including Knightmare VR and Knightmare Geek Week.
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Today's offering is "Top Ten Dungeoneer Demises."
A tricky choice, had to leave out several very good ones....
10 Goin' down. Not one, but three teams. S1T2, S2T6 & S2T11. There was always something enjoyable about a dungeoneer demise in Lillith's cavern. The realisation that they didn't have the correct clue object, followed by the dawning of what was gonna happen next....
9 Enter the dragon. S8T1. Couldn't work out the code to the rune-locked trapdoor after failing to earn Stiletta's help. Enter the (red) dragon, who promptly toasted Richard.
8 Goin' to the wall. S5T7 Not so much the actual demise, but the way they arrived at it. Christopher had already been accidentally turned into a goblin, then arrived at the blocker without the password. In final desperation they ordered him to recite the causeway code (which wouldn't have worked anyway) but he even got that wrong and was promptly devoured.
7 Neverending story.... S2T8 Inexplicably chose a silly dagger instead of the divining-rod, so didn't know which door to take from the 4-exit chamber. Kept exiting and re-entering in a kind of loop-of-infinity until life-force ran out.... (Inventive plot idea from the producers.)
6 Killer Queen. S3T11 Crucially failed to earn the dragon's magic. In the stained-glass window chamber Morghanna , the dark queen of level 3, materialised in all her splendour and obliterated the defenseless Martin. Memorable ending for a good team who got so close to victory.
5 "Simon, sidestep right"! S3T3 You could just see this one coming when he picked-up an amulet of invisibility. Advisor Mark instructed him to step right and plunged him straight over a cliff. (Not sure if it was a directional howler, or if they thought that really was the exit.)
4 "Simon, sidestep left!" S4T4 This team showed S3T3 how it really should be done. In the block and tackle room the floor began to collapse, so advisor Andrew instructed Simon to step left. He did as he was told and stepped straight into the abyss. It couldn't have been done any neater if they had tried to do it. *Pickle barely manages to suppress a roar of laughter. * Great deadpan reactions from everyone else.
3 Put that light out! S1T3 Used their "LANTERN" spell to illuminate a dark cavern and were confronted by Gibbet. Advisor Jonathan correctly began to cast the "ANVIL" spell, but his team mates stopped him and instructed him to dispel lantern instead! The cavern returned to darkness and Gibbet took the opportunity to clobber dungeoneer Simon.
2 Ace of spades. S2T7 This quest was a catalogue of errors and it was fitting that their demise should have been so farcical. Confronted by Cedric, they tried to cast "spade" several times but nothing happened. Cedric finally lost patience and clobbered Neil. In the post-mortem Treguard explained that they had been gifted the spell "SHOVEL", not spade. "How would you like someone to get your name wrong?"
1 A stoney silence. S2T3 Didn't choose the magic shield in the level 3 clue-room, so had no defense when they encountered the Medusa. Not only Christopher, but all three advisors were turned to stone. (No life-force logo death sequence for this ending.) A very good team, who were unlucky to fall at the final hurdle, but have the consolation that their ending was an iconic moment of Knightmare brilliance.
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Surprised you didn't have Morghanna's arguably strongest moment killing off team 6 from series 3 instead! That one would be one of the harshest ones leaving a strong impression this day.
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