They would never say...
-
Aesandre: Lord Fear, your courtship grows tiresome. I have snowmen in Winteria more appealing than you.
Lord Fear: How dare you? I... I don't know what to say.
Aesandre: Try expressing yourself through 1980s popular music lyrics.
Lord Fear: I must say, Queen Aesandre, that [gets up and sings, with backing music kicking in] 'You're as cold as ice, you're willing to sacrifice our love...'
-
Treguard: Why don't we do what the french do on Le Chevalier du Labyrinthe for a change? Which means, if your dungeoneer loses, I pick one of you advisors to be the next dungeoneer.
(Clip from Le Chevalier du Labyrinthe.)
Master of the Castle: (Edited) Bouffo, why are you going to the toilet for?
Bouffo (Jester): Oui Oui.
-
Lord Fear to Lissard: Oh damn it, I can't scare any dungeoneers today Lissard, as I am due to address the House of Lords about the Fox Hunting Bill. Will you take charge of things in my absence?
Lissard: Most certainly your master-ness. I will breathe my tuna breath-ness on those kids-ness. That will knock them out instantly-ness
-
[End of episode]
Treguard: Will our team survive into level three? Or will Lord Fear triumph once more? There's only one way to find out. Isn't there?
[Credits roll.]
Elmo from Sesame Street: [V.O.] This episode of Knightmare was brought to you in association with the letter E, and with the number two!
-
(S8)
Treguard: Team, you need food soon, cake force is fading!
Advisors: Right, in the top right is a cake, jump up and grab it
Dungeoneer grabs the cake force animation and places it in his sack, the life force face re-appears
Treguard: Well done team, you've redeemed the life force face by defeating the evil cake!
-
[Another one that may be better off in the KM Jokes Thread, if anywhere...]
Dungeoneer: Excuse me, Pickle, but why is Treguard sitting on your head?
Pickle: This is Hugo, my hatt.
-
Team 2 Series 2 - Encounters ghost in clue room!
Treguard: Oh dear, you needed Cedrics magic for survival but I'm afraid you've...
(Dungeoneer is on the phone and puts down the receiver after a while)
Dungeoneer: Don't worry everyone... WHO YE GONNA CALL?
In runs Peter from the GHOSTBUSTERS he unleashes an immense bolt from his partical eliminator... Before chucking out a trap to retreive the ghost
Peter: Thanks, we we're short on work lately!
Treguard looks on in a surprised way
Treguard: Very impressive team!
(Sorry I was listening to Ghostbusters at the time, the idea just came out of my head... ;D)
-
The year is 2004, Treguard & Pickle are still waiting for a new series.
Treguard: Looks like we're gonna be here for a long time, Pickle. Why don't we watch this new movie I've got? It's called "Sexual Experiences" starring Phil McRackin.
-
Advisors: Where are we?
Dungeoneer: OK, you're in a small castle-type room. Don't worry, you're not going to fall off anything. In front of you there's like a screen. To your right, there's a man with a beard, sitting in a stationary chair, and next to him there's another man, dressed in green... There's some stuff in front of you, so look downward... side-glance slightly to your left... stop. Can you see what it is?
Advisors: Yes, there are three clipboards, with paper and pencils.
Dungeoneer: OK, pick up the clipboards and put them on your laps. And hold the pencils... one each.
Advisors: What shall we do now? Shall we talk to the man?
Dungeoneer: Er... OK. Side-glance to your left... no, sorry, your right... Stop.
Treguard: Whose idea was this, please?
[Merlin runs through the antechamber with a strait jacket and a Father Christmas hat on.]
-
Dungeoneer dies.
Treguard: Wow! What a way to die.
Next dungeoneer dies.
Treguard: Oooooh, nasty. Ok, you lot, push off home. I'm sure there's a team more better than you waiting to have a go. Go on, I'm not sending you home by magic.
-
Dungeoneer: Where am I?
Advisor: You're in a room-
Dungeoneer: Yes, I know that....I'm not in a pile of mashed potato.
Treguard: Listen team, this looks like part of Lord Fear's technomagic. Even I can't seem to decipher the exact location here.
(Suddenly a screen flickers into life. Sir Patrick Moore appears on screen)
GamesMaster: Welcome to my Kingdom. And what gaming problem can I help you with?
Treguard: I'm afraid you've got the wrong-
Dungeoneer: I have been stuck on Ecco The Dolphin...
-
Series 4/Team 4/Level 2/Block & Tackle room.
Advisor: Simon, side - step to your right.
-
Treguard: "Enter, next victim."
Majida: "RATS!!!"
Treguard: (After dungeoneer dies from taking the wrong object.) You idiots, why didn't you take the...
-
Dungeoneers die and go through to a classroom
Hordriss with progress report: Well your thinking skills were good, you did my riddle very well. However you must learn to chat less and get on with quests, awful direction skills. How many times did you hit that wall? Must be quicker most certainly. Also you points to 3rd advisor then i want to hear none of that language. You will all report to my office on Friday and I will set you an hours detention listening to Motley's joke act!
Advisors groan and walk out, heads bowed
-
Elita: Hello there, dogsbottom!
Cedric: Just who are you calling 'dogsbottom', faceache?
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