Snapper-Jack (parody of Captain Jack by Billy Joel)
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Based on Captain Jack by Billy Joel. {Lyrics}, {Original song}
Friday PM and you're still off on a quest
You've gone down a trapdoor at your friends' behest
You'd like to find a little place you can rest
For a while
So you go down a level in your shirt of cloth
Catch a whiff of the sewage that inhabits Goth
And then a fool-taker comes, full of wrath
Sounding vile
Snapper-Jack will take you down tonight
And take you to his special mire
Snapper-Jack will make you drown tonight
Or inflict on you a fate most dire
Oh yeah yeah
Your knapsack it's fine, for you it ate
It doesn't even need to masticate
Your wand is gonna ping soon, yes it's Series 8
And you fall
So you stand by the cesspool in your new English clothes
And a man arrives that it seems everybody loathes
And still Majida's gonna say her oaths
After all
Snapper-Jack will take you down tonight
And take you to his special mire
Snapper-Jack will make you drown tonight
Loves to slay the fool, even the trier
Oh yeah yeah
So you decide to take a little stroll
Your father's stifling and he thinks his hair is droll
Ah, he can be stubborner than a troll
And what for?
You go into Goth, and watch the stool
Lapping at the side like oceans of green jewels
Then a man comes looking for the dimmest fool
Will he score?
And Snapper-Jack could take you down tonight
And take you to his special mire
Snapper-Jack will make you drown tonight
Then you'll have a hard time getting drier
Oh yeah yeah
So your three advisors tend to scream a lot
And you meet old Snapper-Jack who naps you not
Oh but soon you're dying for the booze you haven't got
It went wrong
And if you can't understand what Stiletta had said
And how you got from Level One to Marblehead
Well you're nearly twelve and there's a man who wants you dead
His net is strong
And Snapper-Jack could take you down tonight
And take you to his special mire
Snapper-Jack would make you drown tonight
If he can't catch Dunstan, he'll retire
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