Whack or Bite (parody of Black or White by Michael Jackson)

[Drassil]

Sung by Lord Fear to the tune of Black or White by Michael Jackson. (Song starts at 2:40.)

My dragon Bhal-Shebah's behaviour is crass

Hit me with a fireball and burned half my room

So I took away his firepower

Only now he can't decide how to fight

I told him, "It's not important:

Doesn't matter if you whack or bite."

Bhal said, "I think that if we meet dungeoneers

We should sink our teeth in like kebab sticks or spears."

But Shebah said, "That's low quality:

We should swing our tail and clobber them. Right?"

I told him, "It's not important:

Doesn't matter if you whack or bite."

I am tired of this dragon

I am finding him duff

I just want him to kill things

How? Well I don't give a stuff

I ain't scared of you, Treguard

I ain't scared of your teams

I ain't gonna surrender

No wait, I might - in your dreams

Be careful! 'Cause we're Opposition

Helmets on, but keeping our vision

It's a turf war on a Dungeon scale

I got a dragon with teeth and a tail

And he isn't like Smirky: he's murky. Quirky

OK, truth be told he's very jerky

He's got two personae

I need to lobotomise now really, don' I?

And both of him agreed with me:

Now he's Firestorm and he's seen the light

And I've given him back his fire

So he doesn't need to whack or bite