International Knightmare!
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What about Hollywood Knightmare, which would be a rehash of the original with Hollywood actors playing the characters? I'm guessing they'd get Sir Ian McKellen (yay!) as Merlin, perhaps Jack Nicholson as Moggamoos.
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Euch, Hollywood Knightmare, it sounds awful. I can't see KM being done well by the US in any form at all really, they usually muck every british-come USA show up when it gets over there anyway [eg Dr Who 1996 Movie :-/].
I'd still love to kill off some celebs though, although they don't deserve any more special mention than normal players imo grrr!
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I can see it now... "Knightmare: The Movie".
Velcome, vatchers of illusion. Zis is Treguard Schwarzenegger, ze dungeon master, and his assistant Jean Claude Van Pickle.
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If we're going to have big names, we'll have Ian McKellen as Treguard, Alan Rickman as Lord Fear, Christopher Lee as Hordriss and Brian Blessed as the ogre.
Nice rhyme, btw, Thanatos!
Thanks. It's not as good as the proper Internationale, but it's at least better than the Billy Bragg version.
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Those are good choices. Someone said that the ogre looked like Brian Blessed when we were watching it last weekend.
Alan Rickman would fit the role perfectly -
Alan Rickman: "I'll get you, John McClane."
Alan Rickman: "I'll get you, Robin of Sherwood."
Alan Rickman: "I'll get you, Harry Potter."
Alan Rickman: "I'll get you, Dungeoneer."
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I can imagen what Knightmare the Movie would be like if it was a big hollywood film.
Treguard goes into a massive sword fight with lord fear, while the dungeonere and his 2 advisors (as one of them turned out to be a spy) are all fighting Mogdred in a battle to the death.
Fear knocks Treguard next to the dead body of Pickle (which is to really get Treguard mad) Treguard draws out 2 guns and saids some choice words to fear before blasting him wioth hios guns.
The 2 advisor of the dungeonere meanwhile are helpless as Mogdred moves in for the kill.. the voice of Merlin sounds (A stars Wars Cliche coming up) "Use the spellcast Dungeoneres name"
The dungeoneres spellcasts something that will cause Mogdred to have a horrible death.
Treguard then goes to bed with whoever the female heroinie is, Velda or someone like that.
The Dungeonere gets dismiss home, only to find his house wrecked by Morghanna, and has a close up of the Dungeonere face who looks like he is ready to fight leaving it open for some corny squeal. It also has a heavy rock and roll version of the Knightmare theme tune as well as "Slim Shady" (cant spell his other stage name Eminem or something).
By the way the film doesn't link up and run together well. And the scripts are Americanised.
Maybe Treguard can have the US flag as a tatoo and his muscle bound arms and smoke a cuban cigar.
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LOL, that's really really good Gerz.
I bet they would go for Star Wars similarities! I'd think they'd make Pickle the hero, except he'd be buffed up a lot- no more meekness, just a few awful catchphrases (Leonardo DiWhatsit, perhaps?) . I wonder if perhaps he'd have to avenge the death at Lord Fear's hands of his aging mentor, Treguard (Sean Connery?). Perhaps in his death scene Treguard could reveal to Pickle he's his real father. Or, of course, you could go the full Star Wars route, and have Lord Fear as Pickle's daddymoos.
Anyway, Pickle has to seek and destroy Lord Fear (as Thanatos suggests, probably Alan Rickman). Along the way he's guided by Hordriss (ably portrayed by Christopher Lee), and the ghosts of Treguard and Merlin (Sir Ian McKellen). He's severely tempted by one or several evil beauties- perhaps Jamie Lee Curtis as Aesandre?- and would probably end up sleeping with at least two of them. (Of course, one of them could therefore be pregnant and raise the resulting child as a new nemesis for Pickle to face in the sequel.)
Anyway, he finally destroys Lord Fear, but not without ample mention of Merlin/Mogdred, who'd form the basis for a prequel when the sequels dry up. (Perhaps Sir Ian McKellen could play both Merlin and Mogga?) He ends up winning the heart of some beauty- Majida, who'd probably be renamed Magic Gal (as someone mentioned on another thread). Anyway, we find out in the next movie that she can easily look after herself- yes, she's a completely unoriginal ballsy heroine (and good insurance in case DiWhatsit demands to much cash to do the sequel), probably played by Liz Hurley.
The two escape Mount Fear just as it's exploding, but with the promise of a lucrative sequel, you can never be sure that Lord Fear's really dead, can you?
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Which modern movie stars do you think would be good in the roles if the established characters from Knightmare were recast?
Alan Rickman as Treguard perhaps? (He really looked like the Dungeon Master in Robin Hood Prince Of Thieves.) Jennifer Aniston as Gretel? How about Whoopi Goldberg as Gundrada?
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