Knightmare meets Finders Keepers... and Friends
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In honour of this fine topic exceeding 5000 views...
[A new team has assembled in the antechamber. The dungeoneer has the helmet on and is ready to begin.]
Treguard: Team, instead of sending you on a conventional quest, I'm taking a leaf out of my friend Neil Buchanan's book. It's time to raid some chambers, because it's our Dungeon! Whose Dungeon?
Advisors: OUR DUNGEON!
Treguard: Here's your first clue. Succeed here, and you may enter Storey One. [He unrolls a scroll and reads from it.] 'If you find this, you'll get some stick, but you can do some magic tricks.' [He turns over an egg-timer.] Go!
Advisor #1: Wand! It's a wand!
[The advisors frantically shout instructions at the dungeoneer, who stumbles around the room, upturning all the furniture. The Watchers see a floating skull with an arrow through it, pointing at the floor behind Treguard's chair.]
Gwendoline: After sifting through hundreds of hours of Eyeshield footage, I am pleased to announce that the Greenwardens have apprehended the Assassins who've been killing deer in the Greenwood.
Aesandre: Hello, girls! Welcome to the first rehearsal for the second annual Miss Frostbite Beauty Contest. I know you've all got what it takes to be winners, just as long as you don't make the same slip-ups as Elita, last year's Miss Frostbite: she was so shocked to win that she hardly looked proud, didn't smile enough, and gave us hardly any tears. So when you're up on that stage, looking and feeling your best, be prepared to win prouder, win smilier, and win tearier!
[Originally posted Thursday 19 January 2006, 15:00]
A Knightmare/Friends crossover...think of the possibilities!
[The Crazed Heifer. In one corner are a sofa and some armchairs, clustered around a low table. Gretel is furiously scrubbing it, while Folly looks on.]
Folly: [Histrionically, with flailing arms] Could that table be any cleaner?? If cleanliness is next to godliness, then the gods are like, "O, Great Gretel! We shall worship you, name our children after you, and sacrifice soap in your honour!"
Gretel: Vinegar would be more effective. It kills 9 out of 10 germs. They must have some vinegar. Have they got any vinegar here?
[Sidriss, who is sitting at the front of the tavern holding a lute, begins to perform.]
Sidriss: [Singing] Skeletron, Skel-e-tron, why aren't they feeding you?
[Motley and Mellisandre have been having an argument on the sofa.]
Motley: WE WERE ON A BREAK!
[Motley stands up and walks out. Mellisandre huffs and folds her arms. Ridolfo, who's been sitting on one of the armchairs (he's been performing in Days With Your Wives, but it's his day off), moves next to Mellisandre.]
Ridolfo: How you doin'?
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