[Script] Mockery - Version 3.0
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Mockery - Version 3.0
Scene 1 Shot 1: Wide shot of dungeon
Mark: Where is this?
Scene 2 Shot 1: Wide shot of antechamber
Advisor 3: Mark, you're in a room with a big pit. On the other side of the pit is a plinth or maybe a table. I can see something glistening – I think it’s the Pearl Necklace.
Scene 3 Shot 1: Mid shot of Trebake
Trebake: <Stifles a snigger> Well team, it looks like the object of your desire is finally within sight, the...<pauses, struggling not to laugh> Pearl Necklace.
Scene 4 Shot 1: Midshot of advisors
Advisor 1: So I guess we want to go around the pit and get the necklace then?
Scene 5 Shot 1: Wide shot of dungeon
The advisors guide Mark to the table.
Advisor 3: Okay Mark, take the Pearl Necklace.
Mark does so. Lord Wrath materialises in the room.
Scene 6 Shot 1: Close up of Wrath
Scene 6 Shot 2: Close up of Trebake
Scene 6 Shot 3: Wide shot of dungeon
Lord Wrath (unfortunately matching the cadence of the spice girls song): Stop right now, thank you very much. I need...
Lord Wrath (catching himself, shaking his head to start again): Stop right now, <dungeonaut> (nodding to reassure himself).... Look how far you've come. Almost all the way to the end of my little dungeon. I’m gracious enough to admit that I’ve been impressed with your performance. In Level One you played battle chess and managed to beat the bishop...
Lord Wrath: ...I thought I had you in Level Two but you somehow managed to choke the Spitting Wyrm..
Lord Wrath: ...As for Level Three, I’m amazed you managed to last so long when playing tug of war with Cyclops...
Lord Wrath: ...But now, young Mark, your quest is at an end. I’ll let you live if you give me...the pearl necklace.
Trebake's head fades into the dungeon a la early Knightmare series. He’s laughing hysterically. Dramatic battle music plays.
Trebake: Don’t do it Mark! Don’t give Lord Wrath your... pearl necklace.
Lord Wrath: Keep out of this Trebake. I have beaten you off many times before and today I’m beating you off again.
Trebake: <Barely able to get a word out at this stage> Lord Wrath, the rules of the dungeon are clear. Mark already has the...the...quest object.
Lord Wrath (high pitched): Lord Wrath gets what Lord Wrath wants. AND I WANT (adjusting the pitch lower to sound scarier)...AND I WANT A PEARL NECKLACE!
Trebake’s floating head just laughs hysterically before fading out. The dramatic music continues.
Scene 7 Shot 1: Mid shot of advisors with Trebake behind
Scene 7 Shot 2: Closeup of Trebake
Advisor 2: <With Trebake laughing like a lunatic behind> We don’t have anything else. Maybe it’s a test or something. Maybe we should just try to satisfy him?
Advisor 3: I'm not sure, Unnamed said that he would be disappointed to not feel the warmth that the pearl necklace gives on his chest once more.
Trebake (mock shock, struggling to get the words out): Dirty bastard!
Advisor 2 (to advisor 1): What do you think?
Advisor 1: Hmmmmm. It's a hard one...
Trebake (continuing to laugh): That's what SHE said.
Advisor 1: ...It's like either option could be wrong. There's literally no way to know. It seems that if we refuse, we're done for, so I say give it to him.
Trebake (continuing to laugh): Ooo err.
Advisor 2: OK. Mark, give Lord Wrath the pearl necklace.
Trebake falls off his throne, clutching his aching sides.
Scene 8 Shot 1: Wide shot of dungeon
Lord Wrath: <Taking the necklace> Ahhhhh, very good. And now Mark, it’s time for me to break my side of the bargain. You didn’t really think I’d let you live, did you? I hope you’re watching Trebake, because here comes the money shot!
Lord Wrath zaps Mark with lightning. The bells of death toll.
Scene 9 Shot 1: Wide shot of antechamber
Scene 9 Shot 2: Closeup of Trebake
Trebake: Oo -oo-ooh na-hahaha-sty! <Recovering slightly> Oh, Jesus.. Okay, okay... No team. You should never has offered to give Lord Wrath a ...<collapses into hysterics again while mouthing the words 'pearl necklace' - the team just look devastated. He eventually recovers> What you needed here was dragon magic - but you missed the opportunity to get any.
Scene 10 Shot 1: Mid shot of advisors
Advisor 1: <Starting to cry> I can’t believe we came so close...
Scene 11 Shot 1: Closeup of Trebake
Trebake (struggling to reconcile his amusement with a clearly distraught team): And now, it is time to return you to your own time and place. Spelling...D...I...S...M...I...S.
A beat.
Trebake (unsure): ....S?
Scene 12 Shot 1: Wide shot of antechamber
The team vanish
Trebake: <Wiping his eyes> Ah, Christ almighty.
END.
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