Parody of The Giver by Chappell Roan

[Drassil]

A goblin auditions. Based on The Giver by Chappell Roan (2025). Official video; Original lyrics

Ain't got brains and ain't got brawn

But I've got a goblin horn

That I blow on the hunt for a Friday bite

And I'll track kids down any path

From dwarvish tunnels to Dungarth

As agile as an underfed cat

So Skarkill

When you need a quest done

You can call me, Skarkill

'Cause you won't wanna smell me

But I'll elev-ate ya

And none will overtake ya, 'cause Skarkill I'm a Grippa

If you have to wash me, it's sewers not a river

Ain't no cavernwight critter

The dungeoneer's done

From Banburn to Dunn

Hey I don't need arachnid struts

Or mechanics in my guts

'Cause how I look is how I hunt

And in the Dungeon of Deceit

Good luck finding a goblin who can beat

An elfstone's lure all Friday long

So Skarkill

Start your squad off with one

Hire me, Skarkill

'Cause I don't laze at wellways

Moving's in my nature

So tame me like a tamer, 'cause Skarkill I'm a Grippa

Don't need much to feed me, just dung and human liver

Ain't no greedy Fatilla

I'm nobody's hun

Though clubbing is fun

The dungeoneer's done

'Cause you don't need to tempt me

I'm not here to date ya

Don't treat me like a talker, 'cause Skarkill I'm a Grippa

I've evaded Gwendoline, while she exhausts her quiver

There's no faerie that's fitter

I'm second to none

From Three up to One

Good hygiene I shun

The quests are undone

Oh and Rhark's my plus-one

So man, will I do?

You're lovely