They would never say...
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http://www.knightmare.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=39&t=752&p=13777#p13777
Treguard: Ooohhhh, Nazi!
There is now a YouTube video, humorous in intent, connecting Hitler to Knightmare. I won't link to it directly (it contains some swearing) but I'm sure you can find it if you wish to.
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Aesandre: Lord Fear, your courtship grows tiresome. I have snowmen in Winteria more appealing than you.
Lord Fear: How dare you? I... I don't know what to say.
Aesandre: Try expressing yourself through 1980s popular music lyrics.
Lord Fear: I must say, Queen Aesandre, that [gets up and sings, with backing music kicking in] 'You're as cold as ice, you're willing to sacrifice our love...'
Strictly speaking, that's 1977 - but hey, it's by one of my favourite bands, and Lou Gramm is such an amazing singer . . .
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Douglas: (to Motley) Look out! There's a snake behind you!
Dungeoneer: (to Assassins) F&%# OFF!!!
Bragwen She: He is the messenger of the gods... And the measurer of temperature... Name him!
Dungeoneer: Michael Fish?
Bumptious: Pink!! Are you bloody serious?! It's not a frickin' cosmetic its an explosive! Stop watching them stupid s%£#@y MaxFactor ads!! And the answer in case you didn't realise (because I wasn't banking my hopes on it) was Falsehood... Black! You know, like the night sky when you can see absolutely eff all, the opposite of white, which is mixed with red to make fricking pink anyway?! Was indeed the truth I sought... Now on your way through that pink door over there... oh hang on a minute! Its black isn't it?? Who heard of a pink door that leads into total pinkness!!! Sod off now pinky!
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Bumptious: Pink!! Are you bloody serious?! It's not a frickin' cosmetic its an explosive! Stop watching them stupid s%£#@y MaxFactor ads!! And the answer in case you didn't realise (because I wasn't banking my hopes on it) was Falsehood... Black! You know, like the night sky when you can see absolutely eff all, the opposite of white, which is mixed with red to make fricking pink anyway?! Was indeed the truth I sought... Now on your way through that pink door over there... oh hang on a minute! Its black isn't it??
Black! Like the endless blackness of space, that leads to the chasm of clams!
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Treguard, to a team hesitating in the Series 2 guillotine room:
"GET TO THE CHOPPER!"
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[A dungeoneer meets Mrs. Grimwold in the wellway room and tells her their quest object.]
Mrs. Grimwold: Never mind that, dearie. I've got a quest for you. I can't seem to find me cooking pot in all this mess. Can you 'elp old Mrs. G and find it?
Offscreen Voice #1: Don't bother, dungeoneer. The ogre's looked all over for it and it's not here. We're inclined to doubt its very existence.
Offscreen Voice #2: Yep, Mrs. G's pot is a myth.
Mrs. Grimwold: SHUDDUP, FESTUS!!
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These are a set of crossover-type things they would never say. Can you guess what they are referencing?
BROLLOCHAN: What are tarts made of?
DUNGEONEER: Pepper, mostly.
BLOCKER: Password!
DUNGEONEER: Mornington Crescent.
BROLLOCHAN: What is that root?
DUNGEONEER: Mandrake.
BROLLOCHAN: I hunger!
DUNGEONEER: Lemon curry?
BROLLOCHAN: I hunger. You will give me knowledge. What is your name?
DUNGEONEER: [insert name here], the Dungeoneer.
BROLLOCHAN: What is your quest?
DUNGEONEER: I seek the sword/shield/cup/crown [delete as applicable].
BROLLOCHAN: What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen Smirkenorff, the Dragon?
DUNGEONEER: Too quick for you, mate!
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Oracle: 'Near a tree by a river, there's a hole in the ground, where an old man of Aran goes around and around... The third step is the-'
Dungeoneer [replacing helmet and muting the Oracle]: 'Ah, crystal clear! We can work with that info. Let's make a move, guys.'
Oracle: "The first step won't hurt at all. The second only makes you wonder. The third will have you on your knees. You start bleeding, I start screaming. Screaming. Screaming. Screaming..."
Treguard: "That sounds like propaganda, team." [It is.]
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Treguard: Don't fear Pickle. No one will ever take this show, hack it up, make a half assed college project out of it and call it after a recycled level name from the hit shoot 'em up game Halo! No one can possibly that insane!
Advisor: Don't take the chicken Leo... It's past its use by date!
Treguard: Make haste team, I'm dying for a dump!
Apologies for bumping this I really missed all the fun times
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I say, how wonderful jester's corner is. I might make my home here. Muahahahahaha!
These characters would never say...
Sir Hugh de Wittless: Tarah! Tarah! Haloo! Haloo!
I've had enough now I need the loo!
Hordriss: waves hands around WICKED! WICKED! JUNGLE IS MAHSIV'!
Rothberry the Apothecary: wanders around J-J-Jive you a spell? No way foo'.
Aint nobahdy gat tam fo dat.
Gwendoline: Yeah I know I have a 4x4 and it burns petrol, but do I even care!?
Gretel: >:-] Muahahahahaha! AHAHAHAHA! cough! Cough! Wheeze! ><
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Neil's advisors in series two:
"Great work team. We certainly cast a shroud over our opponents with our triumph in the Annual County Spelling Championship. This will put us in fine fettle to take on the Knightmare dungeon."
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Treguard: For the love of all that is holy... Dispel: S, R, E, T, S, P, I, H!
(Lying awake in bed. Every night. In vain.)
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[Fatilla's the Hun's only friend in the realm, the unnamed ogre that appears a couple of times in Series 4, has learned that Fatilla has a taste for sheep droppings (as hinted at in Quest 2). To cheer Fatilla up after the JOKE spell (Quest 7) wears off, the ogre fills a bag with sheep droppings and gives it to Fatilla.]
Ogre: I know you prefer the poo of rams but I could only find female sheep. Is that alright, Fatilla?
[Fatilla is very glum and not really listening properly.]
Fatilla: Didn't catch all of that.
Ogre: Ewe OK hun?
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Treguard: Do not expect the Brangwen Shee to look pleased at your success, team. Nor at your failure. She has "resting b**** face".
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Treguard: Play fair, or Fear play foul, all begins again at the allotted h- no, wait, that doesn't rhyme. Play fair, or Fear commit crime, all... no, that won't do. Erm... take care of yourselves. And each other.
Hordriss: WHAT IS THIS ONE DOESN'T EVEN
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