Saws (parody of Stars from Les Misérables)
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Sung by Lord Fear to the tune of Stars from Les Misérables:
There,
Out in the dungeon,
A teenager questing,
Fooling my minions,
Spying on me,
But I shall stop it
Dead in its tracks.
It won't reach Level Three,
It won't reach Level Three.
It finds itself in the dark:
Its horned headgear blinds it to all.
It depends on its nasty advisors,
But I'll slay them all.
And when it falls, as so many have,
I'll mock its fall.
Saws,
In your corridor,
Scarce to be counted,
Slicing the children
So cleanly in half,
You are the sentinels,
Noisy but sure,
Oh, it does make me laugh,
Oh, it does make me laugh.
You know your place in the wall,
You hold your course and your aim,
Which, for some strange reason, the kids cannot see
Remain always the same,
So when they fall, as so many have,
They bear the blame.
And so it must be,
For so they are bitten
By your teeth and your brutal slice.
Those who cannot see a pattern plain
Must pay the price.
Oh, let them find you,
That they may meet you
And you may cause
Their unpleasant death.
You shall!
This I swear,
This I swear by the saws!
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Well done - that works well.
I hope you'll contribute more songs soon. (And I'll look out for 'Lay Mizz' in Channel 4's upcoming '100 Greatest Musicals' programmes!)
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