Parodies of St. Elmo's Fire (Man in Motion) by John Parr

HStorm

This is a better one than the Monkees song I did before. It's based on St Elmo's Fire by John Parr...

Dungeoneer,

You don't see the mirror in the chest.

Wall monster

Will ingest you if you fail the test.

There's a bar of gold

And a big brass key,

And a large red fish,

Take two not three.

Play the game.

You know you can't quit until it's won.

Journey on.

Or you'll have a slit throat before it's done.

You know in some way

You're a lot like me.

You're an adventurer

Trying to break a maid free...

I can see a new adventure

Deep beneath these gloomy halls.

Where an elf is driving Treguard

Far up the walls.

Gonna be a dungeoneer

All I need is a stupid hat.

Take me where a gloater's waiting

To squash me flat.

Burning up.

That'd be a horrid way to go.

Avoid the snake,

Then bribe that pillock with the bar of gold.

I can make it,

To level two,

If I can just convince,

These goblins to shoo.

I can see a new adventure

Deep beneath these mighty towers.

Where a noisy genie

Has talked non-stop for hours!

Gonna be a dungeoneer

All I need is a leather bag.

Take me where a wizard wants to

Turn me to stone slag.

I can beat the strongest soldier,

And get to level three.

But I'm afraid that Mogdred scares

The pee out of me...

The pee out of me.

Just once in his life

A child shows the class.

But Fear blows them up!

And sticks the bits up... on the chandelier.

I can hear the music playing.

I can see the banners fly.

Feel like a champion

As I hold the sword high.

Gonna be a dungeoneer

All I need is a pointless shield.

Take me where Lord Fear's ready

With balls of fire.

I can see a new adventure

Deep beneath these battlements.

Where a Dungeon Master says things

That make no sense.

Gonna be a dungeoneer

All I need is a silly wand.

Take me where Morghanna's waiting

With lightning response.

I can claim the Sword of Freedom,

Or Shield of Justice bright.

But tell me to find the Cup

I'm left in the sh*te.

Left in it...

Left in the sh*te...

I'm left in the sh*te...

Oh, sh*ted I will be!

Like I say, better. Still not very good though. In fact not good at all...

Goes and hides behind the sofa again, and cries a little.

?

My problem is I keep coming up with titles but have no good verse that fit in ???

HStorm

I have the same problem. But I still post the blasted things!

HStorm

By the way, anyone who doesn't know the song of St Elmo's Fire can find the real lyrics in the "Song you're currently listening to thread" on the Back-Up forum.

?

Excellent, though sadly I rarely venture into the backup forum.

HStorm

Missing little. It's not exactly a hive of activity.

?

I didn't think it would be! ;D

Skarkill

Its not a forum that would set the world alite.

I've joined it but have not made a post on it because there isn't any topics that catch my eye.

HStorm

I s'pose that's why we call it a back-up. It's the spare, therefore it doesn't get used as much.

?

Yeah, you're probably right there.

Drassil

Although Ben in Series 5 had what it took to complete Level 3, he always wished that he could reposition the Helmet of Justice so it wasn't over his eyes. Original lyrics, music video.

Going down, 'til they see it's winter through the wall

Door is locked, casting SESAME will solve it all

Just as it gets so cold I'd be in pain

I find I'm in a cloak, but the Helm's not changed

Play the game, I know I can't quit until it's won

Soldier on, only I can do what must be done

And so I head across a snowy field

I am a dungeoneer and I'm after the Shield

I can hear the Queen Aesandre underneath the winter sky

I can hear her telling me: "Fight fire with fire"

I don't need a magic potion, all I need is a pair of spells

Though I'd like the chance to put this darn Helm on higher

Life Force Red, don't know just how far that I can go (just how far I go)

Soon be home, leaving far behind the frozen foe

I can make it, I know I can

I'll get a trophy then, and a kiss from my gran

I can hear the Queen Aesandre underneath the winter sky

I can hear her telling me: "Fight fire with fire"

I don't need a magic potion, all I need is a pair of spells

Though I'd like the chance to put this darn Helm on higher

I can cross the wildest forest, pass the oldest tree

Though I want the Helm on higher so I can see, so I can see

Just once in his life a man has his time

And my time is now, I know this will rhyme

I can hear the music playing, and I know I didn't die

I am a Knightmare winner, hope ridin' high

I don't need a magic potion, all I need is a pair of spells

Though I'd like the chance to put this darn Helm on higher

I can hear the Queen Aesandre underneath the winter sky

I can hear her telling me: "Fight fire with fire"

I don't need a magic potion, all I need is a pair of spells

Though I'd like the chance to put this darn Helm on higher

I can cross the wildest forest, pass the oldest tree

Though I want the Helm on higher so I can see, so I can see

So I, so I can see, want to raise it higher

Oooh, higher so I can see... (to fade)

JamesA

Although Ben in Series 5 had what it took to complete Level 3, he always wished that he could reposition the Helmet of Justice so it wasn't over his eyes. Original lyrics, music video

I suppose it's also worth mentioning that "St Elmo's Fire" formed part of a question in the gamebook section of The Labyrinths of Fear, where the team encounter Mordred.