Treguard:  Warning team, life force energy low, you must eat something now!

[Team finds table in next room]

Pickle: Master I don't believe it!  John Prescott has eaten all the food.

BONG!

Treguard:  Ooohhh nasty!

                Well team, that has left you with some food for thought!  At least you avoided Michael Howard.  There's something of the Knight about him.

I'd love to see that death sequance were Cedric Clobbers there dungeoneer. I've heard its ment to be one of the decent ones but I haven't seen it myself.

Weird one that.  When the main KM site returns, check the clip.  Forget the cock-up of the team, if you look carefully as Cedric goes to clobber the dungeoneer with a stick, he pretends to hit him.  The life force clock appears to cover the dungeoneer as Cedric prepares to hit him, but you can still clearly see that he doesn't actually quite hit him (obviously - as don't want to hurt him!!).  After he pretends to hit him, the life force clock moves to cover the whole screen.

Comprende?

Oh dear. I don't even have an idea where that is. But feel free to join in the Ipswich bashing- although don't bash the football team, or Festus will be unleashed.

It's in Lancashire - so that explains why there's nothing to do in the land where there are more cows than people

Lord Fear to Lissard: Oh damn it, I can't scare any dungeoneers today Lissard, as I am due to address the House of Lords about the Fox Hunting Bill.  Will you take charge of things in my absence?

Lissard:  Most certainly your master-ness.  I will breathe my tuna breath-ness on those kids-ness.  That will knock them out instantly-ness

Dungeoneer gets killed all of a sudden by Hitler

Treguard: Ooohhhh, Nazi!

"Ooooh Nasty!"

Filling up the pot with boiling water, pouring from pot into mug with milk in it, taking a sip.....

"Ooooh, nice tea"

Treguard to Lord Fear: "Fancy a drink in the Red Lion me old mate?  By the way I've got your packet of Worthers originals in my passenger door somewhere...."

After Lord Fear personally kills someone in the final chamber, he suddenly bursts out into song!

"I Feel Pretty,

Oh so pretty,

I Feel Pretty and witty and bright.." etc

Then from out of nowhere Lissard appears and goes;

" La la la la la la laaaaaaa, la la la la la la laaaaaaa!"

Suddenly, from the shower, scargill screams: "that was uvly"

Thank you for highlighting one of my jokes!   I hope you enjoy being an active part of the Forum.

[Later edit] Plus, I'm glad to note from another thread that, like me, you're a Queen fan.  

I must admit that joke was so funny.  I must've started watching KM series 4/5 (I'm 18 1/2 now and just started uni).  Great fun.  Couldn't believe it got axed, I thought nothing of funny end to Season 8, and when they advertised for dungeoneers at the end of the show, I didn't expect at all that the show would end.  So when it came to September 1995, expecting S9, the TV guide said nothing.  I'm still in shock.  The webste brings back many great memories.      

Treguard: Aaahhh its the sword pickle.

Pickle: THE sword master?

Treguard: Yes, the dungeoneers have recovered the sword from Lord Fear.  I am now going to use it on my face.

Pickle: Master?!!

Treguard: Its Wilkinson sword pickle - I'm meeting a hooker tonight in the back of the Anglia studios, so I need to shave for first time in 20 years.  I'm off to Marks and Sparks as well to get some new clothes - I'm sick of wearing this cloak all the time.