A great Knightmare joke...
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Can you make a Knightmare joke or convert a joke to Knightmare style?.
Heres mine.
Treguard, Brother Mace and a Floating skull go into a tavern for a drink. Treguard orders an ale and sits down. Brother mace also orders an ale and sits down. The Floating white skull orders an atruskan brandy, but the barmaid says sorry we dont serve spirts.
Festus, Level 4, a dungeoneer and an inteligent blonde were all sat at a table with a 10 pound note on it. The lights went out and when they came back on the 10 pound note was gone, who took it?. The dungeoneer, cus Festus, level 4 and the inteligent blonde never existed.
Can you think of any?. Mine are conversions it would be nice to have some originals.
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An old topic (to be found at http://www.knightmare.info/forum/yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=4;action=display;num=1039466925;start=0) has a wealth of jokes. Nonetheless, I'll re-post mine:
What's the difference between the Eye Shield and BBC Choice?
One is a pointless supplement which no-one actually likes and which was only ever put in to add some unnecessary padding and pointless TV sequences to an otherwise exemplery entity...and the other's an item in Knightmare.
What do you get if you cross Lord Fear with Sly Hands?
An evil baldy who leads the Opposition and plots to take over the country but is ugly, disreputable, alcoholic, universally derided and more of a hindrance than a help to his cause and had only one brief success in four years.
In other words, William Hague!
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Majida goes to a doctor. She says "Doctor, I'm having problems with my sex life. Treguard has troubles getting an erection." The doctor says "well, all I can give you is this powder. Put some in the pepper pot, cook him dinner, once he puts pepper on the dinner and eats it, he won't have any problems then." So, Majida takes the powder, and heads back to Knightmare castle. She puts the powder in the pepper pot and cooks Treguards dinner. Treguard comes back. "I've cooked your dinner," says Majida. "I'm going upstairs to lay on the bed." "Ok," says Treguard. As Treguard sits down to eat dinner, Majida lays on the bed naked. All of a sudden, she hears Treguard laughing hysterically. She goes downstairs to find out what's going on. She says "what's going on?" Treguard replies "I just sprinkled some pepper on my dinner, then one of the sausages split its skin, and it's chasing the cat all around the dungeon."
Sorry it's a long joke.
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A newbie is having problems with his computer. He cannot figure out which key to press next. In desperation he asks Treguard. Treguard strokes his magnificent beard and replies:
"Enter, stranger".
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I think I just lost the will to think of any more jokes, especialy as there is another multi page thread of them. I hope they arnt all that bad lol.
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Come on guys don't quit here... ;D
Those jokes you made on Elita has made my entire class laugh. I posted one:
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Elita's mouth is so big that you can mistaken it for a worm-hole...
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Elita's mouth is so big that when she spits you can easily misjudge it to be the River Ganges.
Go mad... The more the merrier... ;D
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That was one of the best parts of any thread I can remember. Emii and I had such fun writing most of those. I seem to remember us both being logged in one night and coming up with the idea, and just throwing them at each other.
It'd be great to hear some more, especially now that faceache Elita's going to be on Challenge.
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The first run of Elita's mouth jokes was before my time, but let me see if I can get the idea...
Elita's mouth is so big that an anthropologist wandered in there and mistook her mouth ulcer for a cave painting.
Elita's mouth is so big that ironically, she gives herself face-ache.
Elita's mouth is so big that her dentist learned how to fly a plane.
And those serpent's stomach scenes from Series 3? Elita's mouth.
Elita's mouth is so big that her lunch goes mouldy before she manages to swallow it.
Elita's mouth is so big that she mistook a javelin for a toothpick.
Er, Is that OK?
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Very good indeed
I'm afraid I used up most of mine the last time, so I'm really scraping the barrel now.
Elita's mouth is so big that the rest of the dungeon denizens call it "Your Majesty".
Elita's mouth is so big the coastguard forced her to put a lighthouse in it to stop ships accidentally sailing into it and crashing on her teeth during the night.
Elita's mouth is so big George W. Bush included it in his Axis of Evil.
Elita's mouth is so big Tim Child's setting the Knew Knightmare's Level 2 in it.
Elita's mouth is so big Elton John and the Beckhams invite it to parties.
Elita's mouth is so big it has two Starbucks in it, not just one.
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Hmm, we never really got going with the Sidriss jokes.
Why did Motley find Sidriss standing on the roof of the Crazed Heffer?
Marta told her the drinks were on the house.
Hordriss sent Sidriss to Wolfenden to buy him some magical supples. When she got to the sign saying "Wolfenden Left" she turned around and went home.
What do you get if you give Sidriss a penny for her thoughts?
Change.
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