They would never say...
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You would hope that the right venerable Hordriss might expand his knowledge of pronouns in his enviable wisdom: such as I, you, he, she, we, you (pl), they: But one doesn't expect one will see any other than one's 'one', necessary for such occasions.
But do excuse one's interruptings.
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Those goblins: "We'd love to accept your present, Julie. Many thanks, and may your quest be long and prosperous."
Golgarach: "Stop! Please help yourself to some of my things. There's a lovely pie there and I'd be so honoured if you'd take it. Oh, go on, you never know when that crayon might be useful. You can burn my table for extra life force if you want. Oh, and help yourself to some of my floor tiles."
Majida: "Eees too eeeasy."
Mogdred: "Look upon Mogdred and know that he'll do anything in his power to aid you. Would you care to join me for some Darjeeling?"
Grimaldine: "I am Grimaldiine, of the... oh, what the hell, of the purple and orange polka dottiness on that gorgeous waistcoat Sylvester Hands gave me for my birthday."
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Lilith: "Gosh, I've got all these humbugs. Now if only I had something to store them all in..."
Mrs. G.: "No, dearie. Bones is no use. Not since Festus went vegetarian on us. So I'm going to 'ave to get Grimmy to kill you unless you've got any tofu."
Lord Fear: "I think I'll take a holiday since my henchmen evidently have everything in hand. Goodness, Lissard- what's that delightful perfume? You smell absolutely divine!"
Treguard: "Yes, Pickle, while the advisors are frozen by Temporal Disruption, let's amuse ourselves by putting them in silly poses and using them as coat racks... [turns to camera and the Watchers at home] ... Oh, you're still here? Gosh, what are you still watching this tripe for? There was something good on Children's BBC too. Anyway, don't bother tuning in next week since I'm giving up this crappy job and going to Benidorm with Mellisandre and opening my own tattoo parlour. I'm selling the castle to Pat Sharp- I gather he's got some great ideas about converting it to something far more entertaining! Toodles!" [puts on summer hat and exits]
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Festus: 'I feel so unloved. I'm actually a cat trapped inside a pseudo-Cerberus' body. I don't mean to be intimidating and mysterious, I just have trouble... y'know... relating.'
Dungeoneer: 'No-no, don't say anything, let me guess... I'm in a room. With some doors. But how many? Two? Three and a half? Over to you guys.'
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Sly to dungeoneer 'I'll give you this rope if you can give me...'
Simon 'I think I'll just sidestep to the left into that pit!'
Advisor 'Simon! Sidestep to your right!'
Gargoyle singing 'if your happy and you know it clap your hands...' and 'Oh what a beautiful morning...'
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Brollachan: I have no time for you ignorant little creatures, I'm late for my MENSA meeting!
Gundrada to Bumptious: Yes, I jolly well swear to never rob or decapitate a dwarf.
Smirkenorff: I'm such a slob. I need to lose weight, I look terrible! I must cut back on those dragon mints...
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Velda: 'You look totally trustworthy, despite the helmet and knapsack possibly containing weaponry. I'm going to grin at you and help you to the best of my abilities.'
Pickle: 'That's not a doorway in the forest! That's just a black cardboard rectangle! Best give it a wide berth and continue through the trees, Team.'
Brother Mace may or may not say: 'cucullus non facit monachum.'
(Anyone read Twelfth Night?)
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Treguard: Where am I?
Pickle: You know, I got paid more when I played Marvin the Android, and my outfit was warmer. Enough of this: I quit! Hugo... [Treguard gasps] ... come and join me when your beard glue wears off.
Goblin: I've actually been learning the harmonica, I can play Bob Dylan pretty well. I just prefer to blow the horn, y'know?
Majida: The water in Majorca don't taste like what it oughta.
(Anyone seen the old Heineken ad?)
Elita: Hello, handsome! Fancy a good-natured chat about the Dungeon?
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Skarkill: "Are you seriously suggesting that I'd accept a bribe?"
Elita: "Good morning, young lady. How do you do?"
Hands: "No thanks, I've already had a half."
Snapper Jack: "You right, this glove looks ridiculous."
Honesty Bartrum: "I hope we can still do business, even if I am just a cheap alternative to Julius Scaramonger."
Velda: "You're right - adventuring is no career for an elf who gets kidnapped by goblins twice in as many quests."
Ah Wok: "Yes, I plobably do have tlouble plonouncing my Rs."
Fatilla: "Now you come to mention it, I never have been quite sure what the verb 'to blip' means."
Greystagg: "No thanks, I've already got more witch amber than I need."
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Festus: 'I feel so unloved. I'm actually a cat trapped inside a pseudo-Cerberus' body. I don't mean to be intimidating and mysterious, I just have trouble... y'know... relating.'
Obviously, I love that one! I'm so tempted to roleplay it, but realise that it's in the interests of all intelligent and quasi-intelligent humanity that I don't.
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