They would never say...
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Sly to dungeoneer 'I'll give you this rope if you can give me...'
Simon 'I think I'll just sidestep to the left into that pit!'
Advisor 'Simon! Sidestep to your right!'
Gargoyle singing 'if your happy and you know it clap your hands...' and 'Oh what a beautiful morning...'
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Brollachan: I have no time for you ignorant little creatures, I'm late for my MENSA meeting!
Gundrada to Bumptious: Yes, I jolly well swear to never rob or decapitate a dwarf.
Smirkenorff: I'm such a slob. I need to lose weight, I look terrible! I must cut back on those dragon mints...
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Velda: 'You look totally trustworthy, despite the helmet and knapsack possibly containing weaponry. I'm going to grin at you and help you to the best of my abilities.'
Pickle: 'That's not a doorway in the forest! That's just a black cardboard rectangle! Best give it a wide berth and continue through the trees, Team.'
Brother Mace may or may not say: 'cucullus non facit monachum.'
(Anyone read Twelfth Night?)
-
Treguard: Where am I?
Pickle: You know, I got paid more when I played Marvin the Android, and my outfit was warmer. Enough of this: I quit! Hugo... [Treguard gasps] ... come and join me when your beard glue wears off.
Goblin: I've actually been learning the harmonica, I can play Bob Dylan pretty well. I just prefer to blow the horn, y'know?
Majida: The water in Majorca don't taste like what it oughta.
(Anyone seen the old Heineken ad?)
Elita: Hello, handsome! Fancy a good-natured chat about the Dungeon?
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Skarkill: "Are you seriously suggesting that I'd accept a bribe?"
Elita: "Good morning, young lady. How do you do?"
Hands: "No thanks, I've already had a half."
Snapper Jack: "You right, this glove looks ridiculous."
Honesty Bartrum: "I hope we can still do business, even if I am just a cheap alternative to Julius Scaramonger."
Velda: "You're right - adventuring is no career for an elf who gets kidnapped by goblins twice in as many quests."
Ah Wok: "Yes, I plobably do have tlouble plonouncing my Rs."
Fatilla: "Now you come to mention it, I never have been quite sure what the verb 'to blip' means."
Greystagg: "No thanks, I've already got more witch amber than I need."
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Festus: 'I feel so unloved. I'm actually a cat trapped inside a pseudo-Cerberus' body. I don't mean to be intimidating and mysterious, I just have trouble... y'know... relating.'
Obviously, I love that one! I'm so tempted to roleplay it, but realise that it's in the interests of all intelligent and quasi-intelligent humanity that I don't.
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