A great Knightmare joke...
-
The first run of Elita's mouth jokes was before my time, but let me see if I can get the idea...
Elita's mouth is so big that an anthropologist wandered in there and mistook her mouth ulcer for a cave painting.
Elita's mouth is so big that ironically, she gives herself face-ache.
Elita's mouth is so big that her dentist learned how to fly a plane.
And those serpent's stomach scenes from Series 3? Elita's mouth.
Elita's mouth is so big that her lunch goes mouldy before she manages to swallow it.
Elita's mouth is so big that she mistook a javelin for a toothpick.
Er, Is that OK?
-
Very good indeed
I'm afraid I used up most of mine the last time, so I'm really scraping the barrel now.
Elita's mouth is so big that the rest of the dungeon denizens call it "Your Majesty".
Elita's mouth is so big the coastguard forced her to put a lighthouse in it to stop ships accidentally sailing into it and crashing on her teeth during the night.
Elita's mouth is so big George W. Bush included it in his Axis of Evil.
Elita's mouth is so big Tim Child's setting the Knew Knightmare's Level 2 in it.
Elita's mouth is so big Elton John and the Beckhams invite it to parties.
Elita's mouth is so big it has two Starbucks in it, not just one.
-
Hmm, we never really got going with the Sidriss jokes.
Why did Motley find Sidriss standing on the roof of the Crazed Heffer?
Marta told her the drinks were on the house.
Hordriss sent Sidriss to Wolfenden to buy him some magical supples. When she got to the sign saying "Wolfenden Left" she turned around and went home.
What do you get if you give Sidriss a penny for her thoughts?
Change.
-
...especially now that faceache Elita's going to be on Challenge.
Are you sure Grimaldine...?
I wonder... I...I mean I hope she hasn't seen what we've been saying about her. She'd probably think that we don't like the character.
We've done a fair bit of slagging off...
-
Q. How do you keep Sidriss waiting?
A. I'll tell you later
Q. What do you call Sidriss, Marta and Gretel standing ear to ear?
A. A wind tunnel
Q. How did Sidriss try to kill Smirkenorff?
A. She pushed him off a cliff.
Q. What do you get if you hit Sidriss and Marta with a FREEZE spell?
A. Frosted Flakes
Not very good, I know...
-
Elita's mouth (that is, the mouth of the TV character, and not of the Forum member!) is so big that when she coughs, Tecwen Whittock tells her to shut up.
Elita's mouth is so big that her food has time to run away before she bites into it.
Elita's mouth is so big that if it were a Smiley (and I use the term loosely) it would require a 56-inch computer monitor.
-
Elita's mouth (that is, the mouth of the TV character, and not of the Forum member!) is so big that when she coughs, Tecwen Whittock tells her to shut up.
I resent the insinuation that I DON'T have a big mouth! I'm every bit as foul-mouthed as the character herself! (ask that slagrat Grimaldine if you don't belive me!) And I'm not offended at all Motley, if I was any less offended then... uhm... well a suitable metaphor currently escapes me, so let's just say I'm not offended.
Well, we've discussed how big Elita's mouth is, but as we all know, it's pretty foul too. In fact, Elita's mouth is so foul, even Sylvester Hands has better hygiene!
-
I resent the insinuation that I DON'T have a big mouth! I'm every bit as foul-mouthed as the character herself! (ask that slagrat Grimaldine if you don't belive me!)
Oh Heavens to Hordriss, Elita's mouth is so big it doesn't return the Queen's phone calls, so gigantic that David Attenborough's filmed a whole series about the multitude of creatures that lurk within its depths, so big that Lissard accidentally walked into it thinking it was another entrance to the Sewers of Goth and so filthy that even he washed his hands when he came out.
Festus, the elfbitch is insulting Mummy again...
-
Just as Frightknights are immune to Pixies, in my assessment, multi-headed quasi-canines are immune to dragon's breath and bites. Just don't insult him, dearie. His ego is easily bruised, what with being quite the UGLIEST creature ever to enter the dungeon.
Oh, well, apart from yourself, of course, dearie. I'm sure the plastic surgeon in Wolfenden could make your mouth smaller, though, my dear. Care to buy a map of how to get there?
-
Oh, well, apart from yourself, of course, dearie. I'm sure the plastic surgeon in Wolfenden could make your mouth smaller, though, my dear. Care to but a map of how to get there?
Nice try, but it's just over there... points to "Welcome to Wolfenden" sign 50 yards away Besides, every time I go there I end up locked in a box!
And in your case, I'd recommend a nose-job. Faceache.
-
I see that among its other strange phobias, the censor doesn't like "my ass". Oh yes, you can stop chuckling at the back. I didn't mean it like that.
And I'll post "I don't blame it!" before some wisecracking elf or calling name says it first.
-
Elita's mouth is so big that Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote a musical about it. This was later made into a movie starring Madonna (as Ela Peron) and Antonio Banderas (as someone else). Madonna then charted with her version of the song, 'Don't Scream For Me, Argentina'.
Elita's mouth is so big that whenever someone's boomerang doesn't come back, the chances are it's in Elita's mouth.
Elita's mouth is so big that when ?Stephanie Hesp was asked to appear in pantomime, they ended up performing in her mouth. (With apologies to Ms. Hesp, who plays the character of Elita very effectively.
)Elita's mouth is so big that when she needs to floss, she hires tightrope walkers.
Elita's mouth is so big that astronauts on the DSP (Dunshelm Space Program) predicted that it's possible to see it from space...
...But this remains a theory, as no DSP rocket has ever been able to escape the mouth's gravity and make it into orbit.
Elita's mouth is so big that it took a collagen injection at a strength of 7.5 LAs (Lesley Ashes) before her lips felt the least bit fuller.
Elita's mouth is so big that when she announced she was planning to have a mouthwatering meal, Treguard got flood insurance.
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login