Skip to content
Knightmare logo
  • Backstage
    ConventionExperiencesHistoryHow Knightmare was madeInterviews
  • Dungeon
    CGIHandpaintedLocations
  • Fans
    ArticlesCoverageFan projectsMagazinesOnline
  • NPCs
    OppositionPowers that BeUnaligned
  • Series
    Geek WeekInternationalKnightmare VRSeries 1Series 2Series 3Series 4Series 5Series 6Series 7Series 8
  • Events
    Pre-2021202120222023202420252026
  • Forum
Treguard and Lord Fear talking

Jester's Corner

Knightmare Chat takes place at 8pm on Sundays.
  • Categories
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • Users
  • Groups
Collapse
  1. Home
  2. Jester's Corner
  3. They would never say...

They would never say...

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Jester's Corner
432 Posts 58 Posters 5 Views 1 Watching
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • S
    S
    Scott_Wilkinson
    wrote on last edited by
    #42

    Pickle - "I'm sick and tired of doing this, master, why don't you read the questbook instead?"

    Hordriss (In a cockney voice) - "Sidriss, this f**ing potion's no good. It's got some fake sht in it."

    Majida - "Ok, Treguard, I'll be fair this time. You can say 'Enter stranger' this time."

    Treguard (After a fourth team failed.) - "Oh, for heaven's sake, not again. Let me show you how it's done." (Enters dungeon.)

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • G
      G
      GrimaldineGrimwold
      wrote on last edited by
      #43

      Hordriss (In a cockney voice) - "Sidriss, this f**ing potion's no good. It's got some fake sht in it."

      Okay, that's the funniest thing I've read in ages.

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • F
        F
        Fidjit
        wrote on last edited by
        #44

        Mogdread: "SPELLCASTING, F-R-E-E-D-O-M"

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • ?
          ?
          Guest
          wrote on last edited by
          #45

          Dungeoneer: Just a second guys, just gotta slip my helmet off and scratch me head. Hey did I fall in a lake? whats all this blue........

          dungeoneer: Motley, Motley, Motley

          Motley: F*** Off, I'm busy get someone else to push ur bloody mine cart

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • F
            F
            Fidjit
            wrote on last edited by
            #46

            dungeoneer: Motley, Motley, Motley

            Motley: F*** Off, I'm busy get someone else to push ur bloody mine cart

            Why else would I be sitting in it myself...  ;D

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • L
              L
              Lowebo
              wrote on last edited by
              #47

              Barry: (silence)

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • F
                F
                Fidjit
                wrote on last edited by
                #48

                Lord Fear: "Stop it your hurting my feelings"

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • L
                  L
                  Lowebo
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #49

                  Treguard: Listen here you little piece of s**t, your going in that dungeon and bringing me back my flippin' sword! Hop it!

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • E
                    E
                    Emii
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #50

                    Sly Hands: Come 'ere while I puts me magic rope on yer...

                    Dungeoneer: F**k off.

                    😮

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • F
                      F
                      Fidjit
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #51

                      Can people hold their language I can'ts stands it...  😠

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • JamesAJ
                        JamesAJ
                        JamesA
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #52

                        Goblins: "Thanks for the lovely present Julie"

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • ?
                          ?
                          Guest
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #53

                          Treguard: Do you want to turn back?

                          Dungeoneer: Well now you mention it I am missing some school and its Geography today, I'm off

                          Treguard: Bugger, thats the 6th team this season

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • ?
                            ?
                            Guest
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #54

                            Dungeoneer Dies

                            Treguard: hmmm pleasant

                            Skarkill: Why thank you for finding my Goblin horn, now you can carry on with your quest without further interference from me!

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • M
                              M
                              MoanaLiza
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #55

                              Spoiler alert!

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • M
                                M
                                Malefact
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #56

                                Well, it could have been a lot worse.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • ?
                                  ?
                                  Guest
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #57

                                  not really that much of a spoiler, Skarkill could have been involved with any team with a horn  ::)

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • M
                                    M
                                    Moocowthingy
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #58

                                    Advisor to dungeoneer in the COB

                                    Ok when I say now I want you to jump REALY high.

                                    The Boatman: Hi there, get in its free Im a decendant of St Christopher you know.  Its shallow and you could walk across but its full of pee, syringes and used condoms.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • D
                                      D
                                      Drassil
                                      Senior staff
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #59

                                      As Theseus said to Ariadne, this has turned out to be a fantastic thread!  😉 Here goes:

                                      Oracle: 'Near a tree by a river, there's a hole in the ground, where an old man of Aran goes around and around... The third step is the-'

                                      Dungeoneer [replacing helmet and muting the Oracle]: 'Ah, crystal clear! We can work with that info. Let's make a move, guys.'


                                      Pickle [bringing Treguard a cuppa and a Custard Cream during a quest]: 'A new blend of tea for you, Master: PG Tips.'

                                      Treguard: 'Hmm, it's advertised by chimpanzees; I wonder if that's a reflection on the taste? Let's see if it's the 'cuppa that heals', 'ey, Pickle?

                                      [Sips the tea at the same moment as the Dungeoneer falls to his doom.] Oooooh, nice tea!'

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • M
                                        M
                                        MoanaLiza
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #60

                                        Pickle [bringing Treguard a cuppa and a Custard Cream during a quest]: 'A new blend of tea for you, Master: PG Tips.'

                                        Treguard: 'Hmm, it's advertised by chimpanzees; I wonder if that's a reflection on the taste? Let's see if it's the 'cuppa that heals', 'ey, Pickle?

                                        [Sips the tea at the same moment as the Dungeoneer falls to his doom.] Oooooh, nice tea!'

                                        That's much better than what I would come up with any day!

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • ?
                                          ?
                                          Guest
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #61

                                          Mrs G: Hello Deary, I would threaten to set my Festus on you, but it turns out he was a rare breed of three headed dog. He made us a fortune at Crufts and we sold him off to a dog kennel. But dont worry I can still threaten you, get him Grestus!

                                          kitten rubs dungeoneers leg

                                          Treguard: Warning team massive life force drain!

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          0

                                          Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.

                                          Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.

                                          With your input, this post could be even better 💗

                                          Register Login
                                          Reply
                                          • Reply as topic
                                          Log in to reply
                                          • Oldest to Newest
                                          • Newest to Oldest
                                          • Most Votes


                                          • Login

                                          • Don't have an account? Register

                                          • Login or register to search.
                                          • First post
                                            Last post
                                          0
                                          • Categories
                                          • Recent
                                          • Tags
                                          • Popular
                                          • Users
                                          • Groups
                                          Recent News (21 June 2026): Knightmare Live in 2026

                                          The Team

                                          Join
                                          Submissions
                                          Contact
                                          KM Chat
                                          Privacy Policy

                                          The Site

                                          About
                                          Search
                                          Site Map
                                          Terms & Conditions
                                          Q&A

                                          Keep up-to-date with Knightmare news:
                                          © Copyright Knightmare.com 1999-2026. All Rights Reserved. Moral rights are asserted.