A great Knightmare joke...
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I resent the insinuation that I DON'T have a big mouth! I'm every bit as foul-mouthed as the character herself! (ask that slagrat Grimaldine if you don't belive me!)
Oh Heavens to Hordriss, Elita's mouth is so big it doesn't return the Queen's phone calls, so gigantic that David Attenborough's filmed a whole series about the multitude of creatures that lurk within its depths, so big that Lissard accidentally walked into it thinking it was another entrance to the Sewers of Goth and so filthy that even he washed his hands when he came out.
Festus, the elfbitch is insulting Mummy again...
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Just as Frightknights are immune to Pixies, in my assessment, multi-headed quasi-canines are immune to dragon's breath and bites. Just don't insult him, dearie. His ego is easily bruised, what with being quite the UGLIEST creature ever to enter the dungeon.
Oh, well, apart from yourself, of course, dearie. I'm sure the plastic surgeon in Wolfenden could make your mouth smaller, though, my dear. Care to buy a map of how to get there?
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Oh, well, apart from yourself, of course, dearie. I'm sure the plastic surgeon in Wolfenden could make your mouth smaller, though, my dear. Care to but a map of how to get there?
Nice try, but it's just over there... points to "Welcome to Wolfenden" sign 50 yards away Besides, every time I go there I end up locked in a box!
And in your case, I'd recommend a nose-job. Faceache.
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I see that among its other strange phobias, the censor doesn't like "my ass". Oh yes, you can stop chuckling at the back. I didn't mean it like that.
And I'll post "I don't blame it!" before some wisecracking elf or calling name says it first.
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Elita's mouth is so big that Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote a musical about it. This was later made into a movie starring Madonna (as Ela Peron) and Antonio Banderas (as someone else). Madonna then charted with her version of the song, 'Don't Scream For Me, Argentina'.
Elita's mouth is so big that whenever someone's boomerang doesn't come back, the chances are it's in Elita's mouth.
Elita's mouth is so big that when ?Stephanie Hesp was asked to appear in pantomime, they ended up performing in her mouth. (With apologies to Ms. Hesp, who plays the character of Elita very effectively.
)Elita's mouth is so big that when she needs to floss, she hires tightrope walkers.
Elita's mouth is so big that astronauts on the DSP (Dunshelm Space Program) predicted that it's possible to see it from space...
...But this remains a theory, as no DSP rocket has ever been able to escape the mouth's gravity and make it into orbit.
Elita's mouth is so big that it took a collagen injection at a strength of 7.5 LAs (Lesley Ashes) before her lips felt the least bit fuller.
Elita's mouth is so big that when she announced she was planning to have a mouthwatering meal, Treguard got flood insurance.
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(no-offence) Elitas mouth is soo big that it has its own ekosystem
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And Lord Lucan. And all the Roswell aliens.
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NEWS FLASH
It has been recently reported that Jupiter has mysteriously vanished from the vicinity of the Solar System. The Police are investigating the eating habits of a mouth that supposedly belongs to a female elf who has been known to inhabit Knightmare Castle....
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Hi
In response to previous threads, what I thought best to do is start a new topic for Knightmare-related jokes, so put your funny stuff here, and when compiling an official jokes section, it will make life a lot easier for all of us!!!!! ;D
Let's get cracking (no pun intended there
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