They would never say...
-
"Say hello to the gobins Jule and ask if they'd like a present..."
That is a daft thing to say really... Especially when you know that the goblins are going to beat, stab and hack you to death...
Unless of course they were called Chris.
LF to Lissard: Aaaaahhhh your breath smells really nice and fresh. Have you been into those dragon mints? Well atleast those pesky dungeoneers can't get them if you have.
-
Forgive my ignorance, but could someone please explain who Barry is, and why he is so significant?
Please?
In return, you can read this:
Dungeoneer: 'Treguard, would you like to do this quest instead?'
Treguard: 'No, you go.'
Dungeoneer: 'Hugo, would you like to do this quest instead?'
-
Right, Drassil - see Barry Topic
Thank you!
A Dungeoneer has died. Treguard is about to send the Team on its way, when a squad of cheerleaders (including Mellisandre, Gretel, Elita and Velda) cartwheel in and begin to chant:
'Oh dear you have lost the quest
Time to go back to Skegness
Gimme a D!
Give me an I!
Gimme and S!... and M!
Give me another I!
Gimme and S!
Gimme another S!
What does it spell?
Diiiiiiiis-miss! Woo!'
Treguard: 'Ladies, if you don't mind...'
Pickle: 'I rather like them, Master.'
Treguard: 'No-one asked you, Pickle.'
-
Dungeoneer: '...And there's a scroll on the table.'
Advisor: 'OK, read it then.'
Dungeoneer: 'It says... Stop Bush.'
[Pause]
Advisor: 'Alright, take the silver, and the topiary potion.'
Dungeoneer: 'There's a spyglass.'
Advisor: 'Look through it.'
[Michael Howard appears in the spyglass.]
Treguard: 'Ah, Team, this is the leader of the Opposition, for this phase at least. And, rather fittingly, he is rumoured to have something of the frightknight about him.'
Pickle: 'Wasn't it Mrs. Grimwold who said that?'
Howard [looking into his crystal ball]: 'Scargill? Scargill! Where are you?'
-
Treguard: The book, Pickle.
Pickle: Yes, Master. 'Jill stared with thrilled joy into Doug's eyes, turning the air in the boudoir to pure bliss. This, for a day or a decade, was love. As their beating hearts hammered out a treaty of mutual happiness, he slowly took...'
Treguard: No no, Pickle, the other book. The one with the quests?
Pickle: Oh. Of course.
Treguard: "Yes, Pickle, while the advisors are frozen by Temporal Disruption, let's amuse ourselves by putting them in silly poses and using them as coat racks... [turns to camera and the Watchers at home] ... Oh, you're still here? Gosh, what are you still watching this tripe for? There was something good on Children's BBC too. Anyway, don't bother tuning in next week since I'm giving up this crappy job and going to Benidorm with Mellisandre and opening my own tattoo parlour. [puts on summer hat and exits]
And when Treguard gets there, he strokes the paella out his beard, looks out over the water and sighs, 'Ooooh... vast sea.'
[A Dungeoneer got attacked by Ariadne whilst a spell was being cast, and the Team lost. Outside the TV studio, Hugo Myatt bids them farewell.]
HM: 'Goodbye, Team. Sorry about the spider bite. I hope it's not too serious.'
Former Dungeoneer: 'It's OK, Mr. Myatt. I don't feel ill. I'm sure it's fine. Bye. [He shoots web fluid from his wrist and swings away.]
-
Gwendoline the Greenwarden to one of the teams in s5:
"Well, you only got 1 out of three, but you were trying hard and you have the arrow, so I'll just take it and won't kill you. I'll leave that to the blocker."
And another team to brother Mace in s5:
"Prove that you are a monk."
Brother mace: "Oh, alright, you've got me. I'm not. I am in fact an actor wearing a costume. Happy now?"
-
Ariadne: 'Incy wincy human, came into Level One, down came the spider, and bit him on the... oh, the Dungeoneer's run off. I was too slow. Again.'
-
Series 7 Dungeoneer: 'Pickle, Pickle, Pickle!'
[Pickle appears in a flash of light. His arms and legs are tied.]
Pickle: 'Gosh, thank you! The last thing I remember was some sort of gypsy girl hitting me over the head with a staff...'
-
Pickle: Master?!
Treguard: Yes, Pickle?
Pickle: You've...you've...
Treguard: So I've shaved my head, put a tattoo on my arm and grew my beard 'til it was 4ft long. I fancied a change, alright Pickle? You should try an image change too.
Pickle: Well....I suppose my eyebrows could do with a trim.
Treguard: Excellent idea, Pickle! Half the time I don't know whether you're frowning or ecstatic.
-
One team encounter Elita, but the tables turned a little bit here...
Dungeoneer: You are a poor excuse for a cavern-elf I would have expected better from a goblin, too easily bribed, poorly dressed, everyone hates you...
Elita: I'm sorry... snif I'm trying my best...
Dungeoneer: HA! Tell you what... You give me face-ache just by looking at you, even if I have the helmet on it sort of burns through it. God knows how a mirror puts up with it!
Elita: Okay, okay... I'll be nice as possible snif snif just don't hurt my feelings anymore sob
Dungeoneer: If I were your father I'd put you in solitary confinement...
**Were going to stop there for we know what the score here is...
DONT WE? **
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