They would never say...

JamesA

Dungeoneer to Rothberry: "Have you got anything that can cure that Level 3 Garygoyle's depression?"

simiano

sly: here , yknow i stole yer stuff in level 2 well u can have it back coz its worthless junk

Fidjit

Sly: As you are defenceless I won't bother you!

Drassil

[Malice is in the Eye Shield Room. She sees a white rabbit run by, follows it down a rabbit hole, and ends up at the Mad Hatter's Tea Party.]

Malice: 'Curiouser and curiouser...'

[Hordriss enters a bar. He hops onto a bar stool and, next to him, sees someone who takes his fancy. He is looking into a mirror.]

Hordriss: 'So, does one come here often?'

?

Mogdred: Play a while, forever...

Dungeoneer: Looks like there's no way out guys

Advisors: Not so fast you still have the games console controller from the clue room right?

Dungeoneer: Yes...

Advisors: Well that clue from Hordriss was that we need to bend the rules properly. Of course the cheat on the scroll!

Dungeoneer: *holding up controller.*up, down, square, right, R1, L2, backwards, triangles

Dungeoneer gains infinite life force and no-clipping (fly through walls) mode

Treguard: sigh youth of today, never do things properly.

JamesA

Motley: "Hello helmethead - if that my pizza you've got there for me...."

simiano

you wouldnt see a PS2 controller in KM.

Dungeoneer: bet u cant count to ten

Hordriss: course i can 1 errrr one

JamesA

Elita: "That's the second pair of dungarees that pesky face-ache of a dragon has burned in the space of a week!"

?

(who said it was a PS2 controller, you aren't likely to find a Macdonalds either that's why its a joke )

(Dungeon Commercials)

Gwendoline: Well I see you have an arrow as a token but to be honest I have far too many, I mean my house is getting full of quivers. Don't suppose you have any pot pourri?

Dungeoneer: Nope sorry love, how about this fong shui book?

Gwen: Well I got one of them for christmas, how about a vase?

Dungeoneer: Well the scroll said...

Gwen: Oh ignore them, they haven't been updated for ages oh my god! You know what i'm saying? Sorry your quest ends here....

Freeze Frame

Narrator: Has this ever happened to you? If you want to know what you really should choose to satisfy all dungeon dwellers, you should subscribe to ClueBase gives you all the data on what clue items are hip and happening. Only a bag of silver a month! Clue rooms will never be the same again!

JamesA

Pooka:

I'M A LEAN GREEN FIGHTING MACHINE

Fidjit

Lord Fear skipping through a meadow hand-to-hand with Lissard

"Oh Lissard, what a lovely day!"

Lissard farts and the flowers die!!!

MPK

Lord Fear; "I am growing weary of this, I keeping winning all the time, there's just no challenge anymore! I think I'll join Fun House with Pat Sharpe! At least I have job security there..... and those Go-Karts as well!"

?

with Lord Fears absence then Lord Lissard is introduced, suddenly the quests get a whole lot easier.

Fidjit

Advisor: Pick up the food...

Dungeoneer: I'm not hungry!

?

(Dungeoneer gets all questions right and is being given advise by Brangwen)

Brangwen: There are no doors closed ahead, the green gem will please her.

Advisors: Take the green gem and the lantern

Dungeoneer: I'm going to take the key!

Advisors: Wha!? Why?

Dungeoneer: takes key and uses it to reach under the helmet and scratch his head that's why!

Fidjit

Galgarach: Three truths I seek and here is my...

Dungeoneer: Hang on a minute I need a sh**

?

The dungeon is placed under quaranteen

Bush: In KM castle we have found a WMD, this Dungeon Master's beard can scare young children from a radius of 100miles via television screens.

Skarkill

"I Love You To Motley."

(Any of The Dungon Maids)

Drassil

Mogdred to Merlin:

'Your powers are weak, old man. You should not have come.'

?

Merlin: You strike me down Mogdred I will become more desperate for screen time than ever before!