What would they have said?
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Lord Fear: My best moment was when Marter came into my chamber.....It was who??
Treguard: After all of those years, I need to put my feet up. This really is 'time out' for me, just a drop of mead will do me good. I always found it odd that Merlin liked playing as Mogdred occasionally...Odd chap.
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Merlin: Well yes, after such an awful S4 ending...
(Some people round here are getting a bit obsessive at the moment.)
Mogdred: "Well I thought it was quite natural that the series came to an end when it did. I thought that it had reached its sell-by date after... oooh I'd say after about four seasons. I mean that's why I left... WHAT? No of course it was my decision to leave! Of course it was. Now that replacement they got for me... what was his name? The shell-headed person? Yes, well I s'pose he did a passably good job. Adequate filler-in. But it only goes to show that I was right. Hmm? Well yes, it did last another four seasons with him around. But that doesn't prove anything. I'm just as good as him! I'm just as good as him! I'm not bitter! Just 'cos I was roaring with laughter and dancing on the spot when I heard the show got cancelled, that was just because I was watching The Little And Large Show at the time, but everyone thinks it's 'cos I'm bitter... I'M JUST AS GOOD AS HIM!!! And I'm taller than he is. And I've had more women! Get off my case, will you?"
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Skarkill: "I was really gutted when I was forced to retire at the end of Series 6 thanks to having my only good leg crippled by some barbecued dozing dungeon. Lord Fear may have been paying me lower than the current National Minimum wage, but I'm finding life harder now. It was most... very... very... unlovely.... "
(starts to sob in sheer despair and frustration)
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Festus: [As he talks, the monologue alternates between his two surviving heads.] 'You know, when they told me it 'wasn't working out' and they were going to have to 'let me go' [raises and twitches paws to indicate quotation marks], I was pleased. I was pleased. [leans back on his stall and takes a drag on his cigarette] I mean, they weren't exactly stretching me. I can speak five languages. Five. I offered to record a few soundbites for Ariadne's scenes, and for Gilbert - that's the scorpion - but they... they weren't interested. And they wondered why there were more tear stains in my dressing room litter tray than... you-knows.
'Did you ever watch 'Woof'? About the boy who turned into a dog? I was in that, once or twice. [Long pause] Or thrice.'
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On the subject of Festus, did he actually eat Mrs Grimold at the end of season three? All the screams and squeals in the background as the dungeoneer went down the wellway would suggest so, and she never appeared again afterwards of course, but it's never been confirmed.
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My forthcoming fanfic addresses this question, by 'revealing' some of what happened to the Grimwolds after Series 3...
(As for more official evidence, Lord Fear makes reference to 'the Grimwold family' during Series 6.)
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On the subject of The Family Grimwold.
Who else didn't hope that maby Mrs. Grimwold and Festus were going to make a return in S5.
When The winning Team that Seson Ben & Co, Picked up and read a scroll in Level 3 that said.
"GIVE A DOG A BONE."
I certainly thought they were refering to a certain S3 two headed K9 and his Haggish Mistress.
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Pickle: Well after Knightmare then I watched the next episode and I was shocked, "A genie! Where's the fun in that? For a while I starred in a performance of Oliver Twist with Sly Hands as Fagin. I applied to host Countdown but I was rejected. These days i've returned to my roots quite literally as I am back in the forest.
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Lillith: "Oh, I've turned down simply hundreds of offers. What? No, not ALL of them were to play a Wicked Stepmother. I thought I needed a break, that was all. And may I take this opportunity to say the rumours about my humbug addiction after I was sacked- I mean, after I decided there was little more the show could offer me as a performer- are completely untrue. *[moves to stand in front of a cupboard filled with half-empty jars and pushes the doors shut] * And yes, I am working again now in a highly fulfilling role. Every day after filming of The Weakest Link I leave the BBC Studios dressed in her clothes and *[just managing to restrain the tears] *get pelted with vegetables and rocks from all the angry contestants and members of the public, so she can escape safely. What's that? No, my teeth aren't gritted. I really enjoy the role, I do." *[lip quivers as she turns and grabs a humbug jar and eagerly rummages inside] *
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You've been reading my site too much!
Hmm, in all honesty, I haven't read anything like that there. If it is there, we've evidently come up the something like the same idea separately.
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No I'm just talking about the general tone. I'm a bad influence.
Oh, I see. I think a lot of use use that tone anyway, teehee.
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Pickle: "Well after KM, I tried going to Panto as Peter Pan, but they said they didn't like the pointed ears look, so I auditioned for numerous Vulcans for Star Trek. But they said the actors wore false ears, and the eyebrows were artificial as well. They thought that I looked a little too real for the roles!
Then I thought we all hit it big a couple of years back. Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter was in development. A whole load of old KM veterans went down there to audition; Merlin (Gandalf/Dumbledore), Treguard (Sirius Black), Hordriss (Saruman), Sidriss, even Fatilla auditioned for Hagrid! I would have had the role of Frodo or Legolas easily, but when they came to accept me, well......they wanted my name! So I told them to "Bog Off, you're not having my name! Stick your Frodo role in the Woods for all I care!"
Next thing I know, Elijah Wood became Frodo!!!! How, I will never know!
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