Knew Knightmare dungeon master?
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He's actually got several acting credits to his name, so I might not be wholly accurate when I've said he was a talentless piece of slime not fit to be stuck to the bottom of Richard O'Brien's shoe.
Having listened to him (attempt to) play Riff-Raff on the Rocky Horror Show - The Whole Gory Story CD, I can assure you that you are indeed accurate. And My Lord Ritz's motorbike boots are far too funky to be befouled with such slime!
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Oh, but Treguard giving cosmic handshakes and signing off with something like "...Ah, but just keep telling yourself it's all an Illusion really. Anyway, Keep on Rockin'!" would be funny for all of about 10 minutes.
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The best bit with Ed Tudor Pole would be him riding into the castle every episode on Bert The Imaginary Horse, who he used to talk to in TCM (since no actor could be paid enough to do so, even Auntie Sabrina).
(Sorry, I rolled a 2 again.)
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He'd also fight that imaginary guy/ghost (can't remember his name) wouldn't he, which he used to fight in the Medieval Zone. GG or anyone do you remember his name? because I can't!
Oh yes, I know what you mean. Gosh, Medieval Zone really was where his delusional fantasies set in. Probably best not put him in a medieval dungeon antechamber or he'd make a complete and utter fool of himself. Oh well, what the hell....
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I really can't remember the name of the ghost. I seem to vaguely remember him talking about the ghost of Dennis McTudor, or something, but why he'd be fighting one of his own dead relatives would be a bit of a mystery, unless that was the relative who originally had the idea for "Ten Pole Tudor", in which case, as the old joke goes, he'd deserve to face the swords of a thousand men, rather than just his cosmic handshaking idiot of a descendant.
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Oh gosh, I'm rather proud of my memory on that one, in that case.
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Well, I'd like Hugo back again, but if not, then how about Alan Rickman, or they could go for something completely different, like an American/Canadian like Donald Sutherland. Â I think he'd make a brilliant Dungeon Master.
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Reason For Choosing Edward Tudor Pole #4328: He's Cheap!
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Still overpriced though.
ETP, the gameshow equivalent of Woolworth's. Used to be cheap and nasty, but don't be fooled, he gave up being cheap years ago.
Yes, I doubt you'd ever get value for money with Edward Tudor Pole. Unless you blackmailed the showbiz elite by saying that unless they pay you handsomely you'll tell the world they're great chums with Ed. I think a lot would pay up just to avoid even the chance of such immense embarrassment!
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Sadly, I feel that Judge John Deed is a suitably ridiculous programme (like Midsomer Murders) to go on forever, so he would be tied up with that.
Maybe Tom Baker would be useful as a role either as Merlin or Treguard. Sylvester McCoy could get to play one of the characters in the dungeon as well.
Hey, and while they're at it, bring back Brother Mace.
And Ed....there was something I was going to say about him, but I've forgotten it. Probably just as well.
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Maybe Tom Baker would be useful as a role either as Merlin or Treguard. Sylvester McCoy could get to play one of the characters in the dungeon as well.
Ok now youv'e awoken The Doctor Who fan in me hows this for a line up of former Doctors in The dungeon.
Treagurd: Patrick Troughton
Merlin: Tom Baker
Grimaldine: Slyvetser McCoy.
Hordriss: William Hartnell
Rothenbery: Jon Pertwee
(I couldn't think of a role for Peter Davinson and the less I see of Colin Baker the better.)
(Sorry I know this is slightly off topic but I just couldn't resist. Â ;D)
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LOL, I can imagine Tom Baker as Treguard, I have to say, and I'm sure he'd lend Merlin a better interpretation than... some people.
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And Ed....there was something I was going to say about him, but I've forgotten it. Probably just as well.
So long as it wasn't "He's dead", you should be okay. Oh, if you said he was the best thing in *The Crystal Maze *you probably wouldn't earn you many admirers, but the tomatoes thrown at you in the street might make good soup.
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