The Knightmare Academy Awards
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Time to vote, ladeeeez and gents, for this year's KAFTAN (Knightmare Academy of Filming Terribly Angry Necromancers) awards in the following categories...
Best character In Each Season Of KM.
Best Puzzle In Each Season.
Best One-Liner In The Series.
Worst Bit Of Dialogue In The History Of The Series.
Most Embarrassing 80's Hairstyle To Make It Onto the Show.
Greatest Dungeoneer Ever.
Greatest Team Ever.
Most Boring Dungeoneer Ever.
Worst Team Ever.
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And, Best Latin Male - the nominees being: Hordriss; Brother Mace; Ricky Martin.
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Best characters
Series 3: Hordriss
Series 4: Brother Mace
Series 5: Lord Fear
Series 6: Sylvester Hands
Series 7: Sylvester Hands
Series 8: Sylvester Hands
Best puzzles/obstacles
Series 3: Merlin's chamber
Series 4: Block & Tackle
Series 5: Corridor of Blades
Series 6: Great Causeway
Series 7: Corridor of Blades
Series 8: Corridor of Blades
Best one-liner: Brother Mace, Series 4: "I sit here in my lonely cell, and I contemplate the follies of the wide world. And I also drink a lot of ale."
Worst dialogue: The things repeated verbatim in every single Series 4 quest.
Greatest Dungeoneer: Barry
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Biggest Cliche (Aesandre)
Most Original Headwear (Nemanor won, fighting off stiff competition from the likes of Malice and Morghanna, although there was some controversy over whether the odd object on his head could technically be classed as a "hat", which it was certified as by the nominee).
And the special Lillith Award for Tremendous Consumption of Humbugs (LATCH) went to Lillith herself, for the fifth year running.
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Well I have been meaning to put this up for a long time now:
THE KNIGHTMARE AWARDS!!!
We have 15 carefully selected categories with 5 nominations for each! We need your votes!
Here are the 15 categories with nominations:
- Best Male Actor in Knightmare
Hugo Myatt
Mark Knight
Clifford Norgate
Paul Valentine
John Woodnutt
- Best Female Actress in Knightmare
Mary Miller
Natasha Pope
Joanne Heywood
Stephanie Hesp
Iona Kennedy
- Best Series
Series 2
Series 3
Series 6
Series 7
Series 8
- Best Team
Series 3 Team 4 (Leo)
Series 4 Team 6 (Dickon)
Series 4 Team 8 (Giles)
Series 6 Team 5 (Ben)
Series 7 Team 7 (Barry)
- Best Death
Series 2 Team 5 (Tony) Died in "one of Mogdred's little playpens"
Series 3 Team 10 (Julie) Asked the goblins if they'd like a present.
Series 4 Team 4 (Simon) Sidestepped left.
Series 5 Team 7 (Chris) Swallowed by a blocker.
Series 8 Team 2 (Daniel) Sliced in the corridor of blades.
- Best Quote
"Ooh, nasty" (Treguard)
"Where am I? (Mark) / You tell us! (advisor)"
"I say, you lot...bog off" (Pickle)
"Now I don't like to gloat, Ben...wha, what am I saying? I can't believe I said that, dear me, what a little fibber I am! Of course I like to gloat, I love it. It's something of a hobby for me..." (Lord Fear taunting Ben)
"Ten dead goblins, sitting on the wall!" (Sylvester Hands)
- Best Character in Knightmare
Treguard
Lord Fear
Hordriss
Brother Mace
Merlin
- Best Wall Monster
Igneous
Brollachan
Brangwen
Mug
Granitas
- Best Quest Object
Sword
Shield
Cup
Crown
Talisman
- Funniest Moment
Insult Contest
Sidestep to your left
Fear and Lissard open Series 7
Barry and Sylvester Hands
Rothberry and Julie
- Best Theme
Series 1-3 Opening
Series 1-3 Closing
Series 4-5 Closing
Series 6-8 Opening
Incidental music from series 5-7
- Best Bot (Knightmare Chat)
Cypher
Caei
Jobe
Skeletron
Q
- Best Piece of Dungeoneering Equipment'
Helmet of Justice (mark 1)
Helmet of Justice (mark 2)
Knapsack
Eye Shield
Reach Wand
- Best Series Ending
The dungeon breaks up (Series 2 and 3)
Christmas (Series 4)
The dungeon freezes (Series 5)
The red dragon (Series 6)
The troll (Series 7)
- Best Clifford Norgate character
Hordriss
Owen
Oakley
Smirkenoff
The Dreadnought
HERE IS HOW YOU VOTE:
PM me with your nominations as follows:
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(your nomination)
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(your nomination)
And so on, the closing date for nominations is FRIDAY 30th DECEMBER! The results will be announced live on SUNDAY 1st JANUARY in our special new year chat! Please bring as many people as you can to our special chat night! We are hoping to get over 40 users on the night!
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I think Darren's way is the best way to do this.
Imagine if everyone voted for something different. Or if someone voted but Darren wasn't sure what they were referring to. And some things may come into more than one category.
Not likely, I know but still possible.
Although one idea would be to have everyone vote an the nominations as they wished for each category and the top five/ten/whatever put into one category.
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Could you not perhaps let us vote as we please instead of arbitrarily restricting us to five choices in each category?
Thanatos, I can understand what you're saying, but the category selections were chosen through impartial and careful selection by a group of KM fans, and we picked the five best ones (in our opinion) and it wasn't easy!
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Thanatos, statistically speaking if there were no categories of choice then opinions would be more dispersed and nebulous, and whilst diversity of opinion is, of course, a good thing, it would in this case be counter-productive. Also, it's just a bit of fun. If you're unhappy, maybe you could do your voting thread.
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The results have now been revealed in the chatroom on January 1st 2006, the results are as follows:
- Best Male Actor in Knightmare
WINNER: Hugo Myatt
- Best Female Actress in Knightmare
WINNER: Stephanie Hesp
- Best Series
WINNER: Series 3 AND Series 7
- Best Team
WINNER: Series 7 Team 7 (Barry)
- Best Death
WINNER: Series 4 Team 4 (Simon) Sidestepped left
- Best Quote
WINNER: "Ooh, nasty" (Treguard)
- Best Character in Knightmare
WINNER: Treguard
- Best Wall Monster
WINNER: Granitas
- Best Quest Object
WINNER: Sword
- Funniest Moment
WINNER: Barry and Sylvester Hands
- Best Theme
WINNER: Series 4-5 Closing
- Best Bot (Knightmare Chat)
WINNER: Caei AND Jobe
- Best Piece of Dungeoneering Equipment'
WINNER: Helmet of Justice (mark 1)
- Best Series Ending
WINNER: The dungeon breaks up (Series 2 and 3) AND The troll (Series 7)
- Best Clifford Norgate character
WINNER: Hordriss
Thanks to the 12 of you who voted
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