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  3. Re:Knightmare Limericks

Re:Knightmare Limericks

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    GranitasIsCute
    wrote on last edited by
    #308

    He had a fight with Hordriss,

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      Drassil
      Senior staff
      wrote on last edited by
      #309

      [I know this is a fun thread, but there are guidelines for writing limericks; not just about rhyme, but about rhythm as well; and if a rhythmic pattern isn't maintained, it does get more difficult to keep the poem itself (and therefore the fun) going. Which is perhaps why this one had ground to a halt.]

      Then let out a bored hiss

      [One more line, and this becomes the thread's 64th completed limerick! (Unless I've miscounted.)]

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        TuragaNuju
        wrote on last edited by
        #310

        He just had nothing left to say.

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          darkDescender
          wrote on last edited by
          #311

          While Lillith sat counting her sweeties

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            TuragaNuju
            wrote on last edited by
            #312

            A Goblin pinched one of her Cheeksies

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              Drassil
              Senior staff
              wrote on last edited by
              #313

              I know this thread is for fun, but using a word that doesn't really rhyme, nor really exist, takes away the element of challenge, which for me is part of the fun. So could I please suggest changing 'Cheeks's' to 'treaties'?

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                Ironlord
                wrote on last edited by
                #314

                I know this thread is for fun, but using a word that doesn't really rhyme, nor really exist, takes away the element of challenge, which for me is part of the fun. So could I please suggest changing 'Cheeks's' to 'treaties'?

                Bzzzzzarp! Hitting the English language with a sledgehammer is all part of the fun. I seem to remember one day at school in a Latin lesson (Brother Mace would be impressed...) our task was to write poetry (in English - Latin would be far too hard) about some bloke called Horatius who beat an entire army single-handed - or something like that. I seem to remember a couple of lines of my effort read something like this:

                *And so the knights used their axes

                To make the bridge fall down in stackses...*

                And I thought that was a stroke of genius. What else rhymes with "axes" anyway?

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                • HStormH
                  HStormH
                  HStorm
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #315

                  Faxes, waxes and taxes.

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                    Thanatos
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #316

                    In my view, the poem must rhyme and scan properly, and the English language may be mutilated in the alteration of words stress, spelling and/or pronunciation to see that it does. Examples:

                    "Her English is too good," he said, "which clearly indicates that she is foreign.

                    Whereas others are instructed in their native language, English people aren'."

                    • Alan Jay Lerner, My Fair Lady

                    If your blonde won't respond when you flatter 'er,

                    Tell her what Tony told Cleopatara.

                    • Cole Porter, Kiss Me, Kate

                    It's a scheme of devices, to get at low prices all goods from cough mixtures to cables

                    (Which tickled the sailors), by treating retailers as though they were all vegetables.

                    • W. S. Gilbert, Iolanthe

                    Anyway:

                    Said Lillith, "Good gracious!"

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                      dontyoulikemypie
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #317

                      And of course, the Frosties jingle:

                      "They're gonna taste gray-ate with Tony your may-ate,

                      Everyone knows Frosties tay-aste gray-ate,

                      Even ladies who way-ate, or a pi-ray-ate."

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                        dontyoulikemypie
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #318

                        To continue this thread, I've picked the more compelling option. Mainly 'cos the fact that I've left it in inverted commas implies something smutty!

                        While Lillith sat counting her sweeties,

                        A Goblin pinched one of her 'treaties'

                        She tugged on her lever...

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                          Drassil
                          Senior staff
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #319

                          I know this thread is for fun, but using a word that doesn't really rhyme, nor really exist, takes away the element of challenge, which for me is part of the fun. So could I please suggest changing 'Cheeks's' to 'treaties'?

                          Bzzzzzarp!

                          Assuming that's meant to indicate a wrong-answer buzzer, surely there are politer ways to express a disagreement with another forum member? 😞 If I've assumed wrongly, I apologise.

                          What else rhymes with "axes" anyway?

                          Flaxes, axis, praxis, parataxis, climaxes, relaxes.

                          Talking of smut...

                          To continue this thread, I've picked the more compelling option. Mainly 'cos the fact that I've left it in inverted commas implies something smutty!

                          While Lillith sat counting her sweeties,

                          A Goblin pinched one of her 'treaties'

                          She tugged on her lever...

                          Personally, I was content with Thanatos' line. So if no one minds, I'm going to use it as the basis for making a complete limerick, leaving the next contributor to follow on from the alternative 'lever' line if they wish.

                          While Lillith sat counting her sweeties,

                          A goblin pinched one of her treaties.

                          Said Lillith, "Good gracious!

                          That treaty's fallacious:

                          It spells my name 'Littith', with three tees."

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                            Thanatos
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #320

                            And another:

                            Said Skarkill to Hands, "Do you think...

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                              Billy
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #321

                              "...you've had too much to drink?"

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                                Drassil
                                Senior staff
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #322

                                Said Skarkill to Hands, "Do you think

                                That you have had too much to drink?"

                                Although Sly tried quibbling

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                                  TuragaNuju
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #323

                                  It didn't help his dribbling,

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                                    Mashibinbin
                                    Staff
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #324

                                    Said Skarkill to Hands, "Do you think

                                    That you have had too much to drink?"

                                    Although Sly tried quibbling

                                    It didn't help his dribbling,

                                    "LOVELY!" grinned Skarkill with a wink.

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                                      GranitasIsCute
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #325

                                      When Lord Fear fell into his pool,

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                                        Drassil
                                        Senior staff
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #326

                                        [When the previous post in this thread was made, after so long, I was worried that the forum was too quiet for another limerick to take off, and a gap of nearly three months seems to support that. 😛 But if we can just get this current one finished, we'll have 67, and it will be an appropriate time for this formerly popular thread to 'retire' and be moved to the Klassic Discussion archive.]

                                        When Lord Fear fell into his pool,

                                        He felt it veraciously cruel

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                                          Eyeshield
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #327

                                          When Lord Fear fell into his pool,

                                          He felt it veraciously cruel.

                                          Old blobs of nail varnish

                                          Made his helmet tarnish,

                                          (He stuck his hand in there, the fool!)

                                          There, now you can archive it

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