Re:Knightmare Limericks
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We know 'cause we saw it on telly
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Motley called a girl Smelly Melly
We know 'cause we saw it on telly
She wasn't best pleased
As she was constantly teased
And so they had a fight in some Jelly!
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Found himself laying in some hay
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He had a fight with Hordriss,
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[I know this is a fun thread, but there are guidelines for writing limericks; not just about rhyme, but about rhythm as well; and if a rhythmic pattern isn't maintained, it does get more difficult to keep the poem itself (and therefore the fun) going. Which is perhaps why this one had ground to a halt.]
Then let out a bored hiss
[One more line, and this becomes the thread's 64th completed limerick! (Unless I've miscounted.)]
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He just had nothing left to say.
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While Lillith sat counting her sweeties
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A Goblin pinched one of her Cheeksies
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I know this thread is for fun, but using a word that doesn't really rhyme, nor really exist, takes away the element of challenge, which for me is part of the fun. So could I please suggest changing 'Cheeks's' to 'treaties'?
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I know this thread is for fun, but using a word that doesn't really rhyme, nor really exist, takes away the element of challenge, which for me is part of the fun. So could I please suggest changing 'Cheeks's' to 'treaties'?
Bzzzzzarp! Hitting the English language with a sledgehammer is all part of the fun. I seem to remember one day at school in a Latin lesson (Brother Mace would be impressed...) our task was to write poetry (in English - Latin would be far too hard) about some bloke called Horatius who beat an entire army single-handed - or something like that. I seem to remember a couple of lines of my effort read something like this:
*And so the knights used their axes
To make the bridge fall down in stackses...*
And I thought that was a stroke of genius. What else rhymes with "axes" anyway?
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In my view, the poem must rhyme and scan properly, and the English language may be mutilated in the alteration of words stress, spelling and/or pronunciation to see that it does. Examples:
"Her English is too good," he said, "which clearly indicates that she is foreign.
Whereas others are instructed in their native language, English people aren'."
- Alan Jay Lerner, My Fair Lady
If your blonde won't respond when you flatter 'er,
Tell her what Tony told Cleopatara.
- Cole Porter, Kiss Me, Kate
It's a scheme of devices, to get at low prices all goods from cough mixtures to cables
(Which tickled the sailors), by treating retailers as though they were all vegetables.
- W. S. Gilbert, Iolanthe
Anyway:
Said Lillith, "Good gracious!"
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And of course, the Frosties jingle:
"They're gonna taste gray-ate with Tony your may-ate,
Everyone knows Frosties tay-aste gray-ate,
Even ladies who way-ate, or a pi-ray-ate."
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To continue this thread, I've picked the more compelling option. Mainly 'cos the fact that I've left it in inverted commas implies something smutty!
While Lillith sat counting her sweeties,
A Goblin pinched one of her 'treaties'
She tugged on her lever...
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I know this thread is for fun, but using a word that doesn't really rhyme, nor really exist, takes away the element of challenge, which for me is part of the fun. So could I please suggest changing 'Cheeks's' to 'treaties'?
Bzzzzzarp!
Assuming that's meant to indicate a wrong-answer buzzer, surely there are politer ways to express a disagreement with another forum member?
If I've assumed wrongly, I apologise.What else rhymes with "axes" anyway?
Flaxes, axis, praxis, parataxis, climaxes, relaxes.
Talking of smut...
To continue this thread, I've picked the more compelling option. Mainly 'cos the fact that I've left it in inverted commas implies something smutty!
While Lillith sat counting her sweeties,
A Goblin pinched one of her 'treaties'
She tugged on her lever...
Personally, I was content with Thanatos' line. So if no one minds, I'm going to use it as the basis for making a complete limerick, leaving the next contributor to follow on from the alternative 'lever' line if they wish.
While Lillith sat counting her sweeties,
A goblin pinched one of her treaties.
Said Lillith, "Good gracious!
That treaty's fallacious:
It spells my name 'Littith', with three tees."
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