Parody of Stonecutter's Song (The Simpsons), Ebeneezer Goode
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Hordriss decides it's time that the true scale of his achievements is known, so he rounds up the folk of the Dungeon and has them sing the following. Based on the Stonecutters' song from The Simpsons episode Homer the Great.
Who helped Dickon win the Crown?
Who shut the realm of Mogdred down?
Hordriss! Hordriss!
Who freed Elita from the box?
Who let Gundrada out the stocks?
Hordriss! Hordriss!
Who fills clue rooms with golden bars?
Who made that Barry Thorne a star?
Hordriss! Hordriss!
Who saves Treguard from his plight?
Who turns children into knights?
Hordriss! Hordriiiiiss!
Ever wondered what on earth that samurai in Series 6 was about? Well, so has Sylvester Hands. Official audio
[HORDRISS:]
A great philosopher once wrote...
[TREGUARD:]
Nasty nasty, very nasty
[SKARKILL:]
Ha ha ha ha ha
[SYLVESTER HANDS:]
There's a guy in the place
He's got a mask on his face
And he goes by the title of The Samurai
His friends call him Sammy and his acting's so hammy
And he'll hang about the place though nobody knows why
When he's there, I declare, he makes me feel scared
Though very much maligned and misunderstood
But though he looks muzzled I'm the one who's puzzled
I wish I knew why we got a samurai
You can see that he's mischievious, mysterious and devious
When he brandishes his sword while floating in the air
But once you know he's just a spectre of a magic spell
You stop and sit and ask yourself, "Well, why's he even there?"
Casting and dispelling, casting and dispelling
Sammy he is jammy and loves to muscle in
Stirring up a schism he's a mad anachronism
Does he really have a purpose, what the heck's he doin'?
How or why, how or why
Was there a samurai?
How or why, how or why
Was there a samurai?
How or why, how or why
Was there a samurai?
How or why, how or why
Was there a samurai?
Was there a samurai?
[SKARKILL:]
Has anybody got any victims?
Lovely
Ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha
[HORDRISS:]
A great philosopher once wrote...
[TREGUARD:]
Nasty nasty, very nasty
[SKARKILL:]
Ha ha ha ha ha
[HANDS:]
I'm Sylvester Hands, leading light of the scene
Know what I mean, see
I created the vibe
I may not be a mage but at least I engage
The people who meet me, they know I'm alive
And Mr. Samurai, such a scary guy
When he's there, you know. But is it a show?
Though he only came twice it was not very nice
You see him in the air with a funny "Uh-oh"
A gentleman of Nippon, you won't catch him kippin'
And he's here on this address card so you'd think he's the best
Extraordinary fellow, I never heard him bellow
Never saw him in the flesh in any actual quest
When you're in town and Mr. Samurai's around
You can sense a presence in the sound of the crowd
There's only one question, so here's my suggestion
That when you see old Sammy it's time to shout loud
How or why, how or why
Was there a samurai?
How or why, how or why
Was there a samurai?
How or why, how or why
Was there a samurai?
How or why, how or why
Was there a samurai?
Was there a samurai?
Was there a samurai?
How or why, how or why
How or why, how or why
Was there a samurai?
Got any sushi? Sorted
[SKARKILL:]
Ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha...
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