The Ultimate Knightmare Riddle
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Ah, now the answer to this lies in ye noble realm of inexperienced amateur dramatics and jobbing actors. There are only three accents necessary to qualify for this most prestigious of social groups. They are, as follows;-
Mexican accent (deemed appropriate for performing the voice of any person whatsoever outside of the UK or the Indian sub-continent);
Welsh accent (deemed appropriate for performing the voice of anyone who does come from the Indian sub-continent);
West Country accent (deemed appropriate for performing the voice of anyone from any part of the countryside in any part of the UK, including the Welsh).
Now that you know these noble secrets, I imagine you are well-equipped for a life of unpaid thespianism. (And yes, puerile ones, that does read 'Thespianism', before you suggest I meant anything different; mind - gutter - out of!)
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Just who does write all those scrolls?
Lord F did once say to Hordriss: "You're starting to believe your own scrolls". Hmm...
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Why is half the cast from Dorset all of a sudden, when Dunshelm is supposed to be in up north? We have Pixel, Oakley and the boatman, all with distinct West Country accents. Pourquoi?
Don't forget Marta...
...who may actually have been Prince Ludwig the Indestructible in a dress.
"Would you like another piece of pie, my lord?"
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There are so many reasons why that makes sense (including a number of really disturbing ones, given Blackadder's 'history' with Big Sally, and that business with Lissard-in-disguise) that it would take far too long to list them. Very well spotted.
Salutes Ironlord
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What a silly thread but fun all the same
my ultimate riddle..
If the Brangwen bitch were to,,,,, oh who cares....
If Moragine of evil were to take all seventy of her lace bras around the Knightmare dungeon, how many would she have to put in Level one giving an equal amount per level if she were to loose 10 along the way into the dungeon and if she were to forget that ah fok had ruined 3 of those in the wash the previous day
what a load of runbbish im writing but hey i dnt care
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And why does putting a single egg in the knapsack provide the same amount of life force as an entire roast chicken?
Oh and KMDave? The answer is two, because Morgaine burned all the others at a 60's Nostalgic Feminist Society this morning. Thought you'd catch us out with the old mathematical-puzzle-about-bras-that-have-been-burned-for-radical-political-purposes trick did you? Think again.
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And why does putting a single egg in the knapsack provide the same amount of life force as an entire roast chicken?
A wizard did it.
...Granted if KM was based on D&D directly rather than computer RPGs which at that point were mostly based on D&D themselves, it would be 'prankster wizard'.
Goodness knows why a wizard would have done that, but given that Knightmare wizards include the likes of Merlin and Hordriss...
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Re: series 4 and 5. Why is half the cast from Dorset all of a sudden, when Dunshelm is supposed to be in up north? We have Pixel, Oakley and the boatman, all with distinct West Country accents. Pourquoi?
It all started around July 1988, in the West Country town of Weston Super Mare:
Mother: Steven, as a good luck present for your Knightmare filming next week, we're giving you an Acorn.
Steven: Wow! My own computer!
Mother: No, I meant an acorn from a local tree.
Steven took this West Country acorn to Norwich, and into the Dungeon, where he accidentally-on-purpose dropped it, in the Hall of Folly. Merlin found it and planted it in the Greenwood, adding some magic to help it grow. The result was Oakley.
A year later, and another dungeoneer arrives from Weston Super Mare: Douglas. After his demise, we were told by Treguard that Merlin put Douglas back together. In fact, when this proved to be a long undertaking, he made a whole new Douglas out of Rodney and rainbows, and sent it home with the advisors. Merlin continued working on repairing the original Douglas, over the course of many months; but the result was a wretched, disfigured creature who shunned the light (due to his brightly-lit bomb room demise) and effected a West Country accent to remind him of home. To cut a long story less long, Merlin taught the Douglas-creature 14 words and a grunt, stuck a sack on his head and gave him a boat.
Merlin also insisted that the Douglas-creature blow his nose to expel any residual magic from his nasal cavity. Merlin took the used tissue back to his study for close inspection, but left it next to some helium and forgot about it. By the time he remembered, it had turned into Pixel. (A tale of what happened next is told here.)
'And there you have it.' I'm Going Slightly Mad. Which is both the source of the quotation, and a moment of self-reflection.
If Moragine of evil were to take all seventy of her lace bras around the Knightmare dungeon, how many would she have to put in Level one giving an equal amount per level if she were to loose 10 along the way into the dungeon and if she were to forget that ah fok had ruined 3 of those in the wash the previous day
Morgaine is hardly a delicate flower; and personally, I'd need some convincing that she wears undergarments made from anything less robust than titanium (no pun intended) chain mail.
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